No offense meant to anyone dealing with cancer, it was the only analogy that I could come up with to accurately describe what it is like waiting for the narcissist to rear his ugly head in your life again.
It has been 5 and 1/2 years since my ex and I split, he has been involved with another woman for 5 years and 5 months of that time. He got her to sell her house and he has gotten everything material that he ever wanted, trucks, heavy equipment, trips, mobile shop, you would think he would be so happy he wouldn’t have time or the desire to care what I am doing.
But almost like clockwork he pops into my life to stir up shit once a year. The last time he showed up to destroy my life I was on my brother’s boat, May 26th, 2015 to be exact. I was being interviewed by Nice Guy Eddie on his talk radio show In My Humble Opinion. I was waiting for Eddie to Skype me at 5 pm to do the interview when I heard what sounded like a a remote control car or weed whacker outside. Like I said I was living on a boat so either one was not likely to be outside my window. I finally went to check because it had been out there a while and when I look out the window there was a drone so close I could have reached out and touched it. Long story short, Eddie couldn’t get through on Skype, nor Face Book, my laptop crashed, never to work again and Eddie and I did the interview over the phone.
A few days prior I had received a call from my ex’s step dad, who I had always stayed in contact with and trusted. I had told him where I was living, two days later I was taking Stella for a pee at 5 am when a semi that looked exactly like my ex’s old one came around the corner and stopped. I had told myself to not be paranoid, his truck got repossessed before we split. But in light of the drone and my laptop crashing I decided to check online to see what he had been up too lately. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that same semi in his Flikr album. He had acquired the same truck just a few years older. That same week I was cut off welfare. Then his son was in the area camping with his mom, step dad and siblings and called to see if I would meet them at their camp site. Of course I went in a heartbeat, I love his son and we had a special bond because my ex was so abusive. I met them and we had a great time, his mom and I hugged, his little sister ran and hugged me, we went to the wharf in White Rock and carved our names in the wood, I got to talk alone with Allan. The only thing Allan said was, the minute he saw me and gave me a hug and then he looked me right in the eye and asked, “How are you?” I said I was great and he sighed with relief and said, “That is all I needed to hear” and hugged me again. We didn’t talk about his dad at all except for him to thank me for standing up to his dad for him and getting him out of the house and home safe to his mom when his dad punched him for eating his double chocolate donut.
A few weeks later I notice on Allan’s mom’s Face Book she has posted pics of their trip. There is one of Yogi bear and a comment from my ex asking where’s BooBoo? Allan’s mom replied, “Who needs BooBoo, Carrie came for a visit and she is awesome!!”
His reply was, “She can be.”
I could tell he was not happy and he said something about if he had known they were coming he would have gone to see them. My ex lives about 8 hours away. She said the date they were there and that they had been there 3 days and had a great time! He said he had been in White Rock the same day I had been there. What a coincidence! haha I had gotten lost and had to do a couple of u turns, I probably lost him and didn’t even know he was following me. You know I had a gut feeling though that whole night.
I have moved so many times I can’t keep count and with this last move I made sure no one who knows him knew where I was. I didn’t post any pictures that had identifying landmarks on here or Face Book. I turned off my GPS on my phone, laptop and any posts I did. I have had one person from my past who knew me while I was with my ex call and ask where I was living now and I was evasive and she called a few times and dropped off.
So, my mom calls me yesterday, very upset; she got a phone call from the police looking for me. She didn’t give them any information, good! because it could have been anyone looking for information, it would not be the first time my ex pretended to be a cop over the phone. The Constable asked where I was living, how often did she see me and she finally asked him what this was about. He told her it had to do with my blog and I was “Inciting Violence” against someone and it was a very serious offense. He gave her his number and asked her to get me to call him.
When she told me I was not the least bit surprised, the one thing that struck me first was this, “If he is accusing me of inciting violence, what the hell does he have planned for me? because they always accuse the victim of the same things they themselves are doing.”
The next thing that struck me,
Why did they call my mother, they could have emailed me through my blog if that is what this is pertaining to and if I didn’t respond then call my mother.
I took the number from my mom and assured her it was not a big deal, she never reads my blog but went in and read it yesterday for herself. She said she saw nothing that would be considered inciting violence. I ask you all, have I ever incited violence ever on this blog? I am one of the least violent, nonjudgmental people I know. I have forbid people from using their ex’s real name and making threats to their safety or even slandering them.
I called the number immediately and surprise surprise, it was the Powell River Police Station. The cop wasn’t on duty so I left a message and not had a call back. I only know one person living in Powell River. I know of 6 times where my ex had someone impersonate a cop or he did it himself; in order to create trouble for me or to get information on my whereabouts in order to create trouble for me. He of course would know who my parents are and I am sure he thought that if a cop phoned the house looking for me she would panic and spill the information, but she is smarter than that thank God.
Not knowing where I am would piss him off to no end, because after all it is all about control. It is like when I started locking my truck and sleeping with the key; my truck battery started to hold a charge and it actually ran for a solid week; if he couldn’t get the hood up, he couldn’t sabotage the truck BUT it was then that he got angry and started to ramp things up and do things that endangered my life, like my tire blowing at 110 km an hour with 3 tons on the truck.
I don’t know what is going on, but one thing for sure I am not letting this slide, it is time he got a life and moved on. I know his relationship is on fragile ground, the engagement ring is off….. he is probably having to be on good behavior in order to get her sucked back in so I am the scapegoat, I will pay for anything that goes wrong in his life for the rest of my life. The one ex he counted on for his emergency supply died the same year him and I split so I guess I am the replacement. Great!!
Depending on what transpires I will be shutting down the blog. I will be closing all my email accounts, my paypal, and changing my phone number. I will be back, I have my other blog I am going to open up, I will not stop spreading the word, but if I am breaking the law I have to do it legally. I never intended to slander or get revenge on my ex, I want to warn other women about all narcissists so whether it is this blog or another one makes no difference to me. I just start building my readership again, I love a challenge, right?
I want a restraining order on him again and I will inform them he has a gun.
I will keep you all informed, for now the blog stays but if it disappears I am not gone for good, just for awhile and I will be back.
Hugs to you all!!