Comment Quoting Me To Me

I received this comment on the Support Forum of my blog and wanted to share it with those who might not see it because it is so important.

The narcissist has an uncanny ability to sense when the victim is just getting their feet under themselves and feeling they will survive. All of a sudden the narcissist pops back into their life full of promises and apologies. The victim is healed enough to think they can “just be friends”, will be strong enough to run at the first sign of trouble and they get sucked into the rabbit hole again.

Here is the comment:

“The fact that I don’t give a shit about him over shadows every relationship he will ever be in; he can’t figure out why or how I managed to survive” What words!! Carrie wrote as quoted in here from her blogs… this is me now!! .. He can’t figure out how I managed to survive, hes going crazy trying to work it out, win me over again, bordering on stalking and then I went on to read this Carrie had written in her blogs…

“So remember this when the narc comes crawling back in a year or 15 years; it has nothing to do with you, nothing!! except for the fact that he views you as a possession that he can lay claim to any old time he wants. It has nothing to do with him loving you, needing your special supply, realizing how good he had it, or even that things have gone sour with the new supply. It only has to do with his uncontrollable need to control.”

Sorry for requoting you Carrie I just wanted to tell everyone that there is hope and what wisdom I have got from these words which have most probably saved my life thank you xx

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13 Replies to “Comment Quoting Me To Me”

  1. I’m glad you posted this. I thought it was all in my head, that the narc comes back, just as you’re getting back on your feet again. Unfortunately, I’ve fallen for it many times. Though, I’m getting better at seeing it now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yep, this had happened to me last week, 2 years after our breakup and I nearly fell fall it. But then my gut feeling kicked in started with my stomach in a knot and having to run for the loo and I realised it’s going to be a bad mistake and I sent him packing thank God!

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  3. So be happy when he finds a new victim. You have time to heal now.
    I am now out for over four years and I didn’t see him anymore. Alltough we live on 500 meters away from eachother. My son once met him in the supermarket and with tears in his eyes he asked him if he could talk with my son. My son said, I think this is not the right place and time. That was when his new woman wasn’t in the neighbourhood. I think she is the best thing that happened to me.
    Concerning winning you back: he told me in march 2013 in front of friends and family that I was the best thing ever happened to him. I think he felt that I was going to leave him. Two weeks later I got again, the silent treatment. A month later I left. I am so proud I did this and of what I did the last four years. It is my best revenge. He never espected this.

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    1. Ellebelle, for some reason your comment went to moderation. I just approved it and it appears now. Sorry. Sometimes it happens for some mysterious reason.
      Thank you for your comment, you were very smart to leave and stay away. It sounds like your son has his priorities straight and I think that is because you limited the trauma of going back and forth.

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  4. This happened to me just three weeks ago- went no contact, started to feel in control again, and he became so lovely and apologetic. Urgh. I’m so glad we can be educated enough to spot their tactics!

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  5. Having said it’s incredibly difficult to put your feet down and say no more when they come crawling back full of apologies and trying to remind you of the good times.
    Even after 2 years you get these little pangs of what ifs but you know you have to be strong, even if you haven’t found anyone else, your peace of mind and happiness is much more important than being with somebody who sucks the life out of you!

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  6. Yes iam kicking this bitch out i get to krrp the house and he has to move out
    I will never stay in a shitty relationship like that again it wss good i thought forv7 yesrs after i stay 21 years and mask came off i dont kno him no more he is a lowlife mother fucker i wish i never married when he move out i never want to see his face again we have 2 kids and they r grown i been healing and working on myself. I would rather pay my own morgage then b with an asshole like him

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    1. Tika, you are right; you are better off without him and will be OK on your own.
      Just remember that true healing doesnt happen until you go completely no contact with the N.
      Good luck and keep us informed on how you are doing.
      Hugs
      Carrie

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  7. Yes, and yes again. I feel like i got my head on straight but sometimes just for a split second im not sure if im wrong and i feel like i am the narc… then i think lolll nop i just got woken up again. That is aleays one of his favorite things. Rip the pillow i use to protect my frontal area. I ise it because he crushes my breast everytime we are sleeping. If i say something, he yells and tells me he didn’t touch me and im crazy… So yes, getting a pillow ripped out of my hands and the extra blanket that i put on myself because he put the ac on full blast and its always freezing. Takes it from me, 1 to wake me up because he is pissed he cant sleep and that he told me himself pisses him off. He looks at me sleeping and tells me your a fucking bitch. Sorry for the swearing. He makes it look like a joke of course… so taking those to wake me up and giving it the the dog. I love my dog and i am not jealous of him but lolll he treats the dog wayyyyy better then humans. I find it weird. His mom does the same. That is probably why. So my narc mamas boy is doing his very best not to yell. The only thing that is different is that the remarks didn’t stop and i get it everytime i am around people but who cares right. I was making jokes about the dog trying to trip me with food and he said yes of course the dog is also plotting against you. Its aleays subtle with a narc, they are never direct. This means, you know all this but this means everyone is plotting and im crazy. Lolll He wont say it directly now. They make indirect snarky remarks right under your nose or tell you in an extremely rude way or straight up yelling your ears off to go fuck yourself. There is 0 patience with anything and your always the problem. Dont ask for any explanation or say you don’t understand because they will laugh in your face and make you think your inadequate.

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  8. Everything to put you down. The worst part is they think they are right… that you should be submissive and listen to them because they know everything and you dont. Watch out, im bot saying you dont know anything but the narc creeps in every part of your life, family, finance, even your kids if they are not yours. They like to control all aspects of your life to make sure they know where you are and primarily that you have no ressources to leave. That if you leave you cant go far and you get nothing. In their head you don’t deserve anything because they made you loll yes really. You are nothing without them and will never be. Its also a good way to make sure you dont check on them when they lie about a business trip that is not really one extend it without telling you to spend time with coworkers or “friends “ . They will make indirect comments about cheating all the time but as long as you don’t catch them doing it. They will NEVER admit it. This is all your fault of course and everyone knows it. You pushed him to and he cant leave because you “need him”. Your crazy and you need help. Lolll you should also take pills. These pills are amazing and they make you very docile. Even easier to manipulate you. He doesn’t eant a full spirit women, he wants a door mat. You better be humble and not defy him because he made you and you should be on your knees kissing his feet for his aesomeness.

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  9. I was meaning your own kids not his. Also waking you up to make sure you dont rest. Like today, its all prepared. Im in for the best ride ever. But first, lets make sure she is really tired.

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