Another Woman Dies – True Story

My mom was telling me about an accident that happened on Hwy #3 near Hope, BC. Apparently a car had been driving eratically and speeding then crashed into a highways maintenance truck.

The car literally broke into hundreds of pieces upon impact. The first people on the scene was a truck load of fire fighters who immediately started CPR on the female passenger. While they were desperately trying to save her life the driver of the vehicle jumped into the fire fighter’s truck and sped from the scene, leaving his female passenger to die alone in the middle of the highway.

My mom was wondering why he would have been driving erratically prior to the crash and I said, “Maybe he was trying to scare the passenger”. 

I thought to myself for a minute, “Have I become cynical? Always assuming domestic abuse when a woman is found dead?” 

As I watched the news they flashed the victim’s picture and then showed segments of an interview with her sons and sobbing husband. She was just 36 years old and I knew her. 

I hadn’t seen her and her husband for years, probably 10 years at least. 

Last night I looked up the husband’s Facebook page and he was talking about how they had been split. His wife had been seeing a guy off and on for a year but she had decided to end it and give her marriage an honest effort.

The guy she had been seeing wouldn’t leave her alone and was threatening to kill himself if she didn’t come talk to him. She went. That was the last time her husband and kids saw her alive.

I was lucky when I got in a vehicle with my ex, ….. just to talk. I have heard more horror stories from people who have visited the blog; than I can count. 

Stories of being thrown from a speeding vehicle, having a knife held to their throat, a gun to their head, literally fighting for their life, women set on fire, acid thrown at them. 

I am willing to bet every single woman who is murdered by her abusive ex, (and have no doubt, this young woman who died on Hwy #3 was murdered) didn’t believe he would ever really hurt her but her gut told her something else and she didn’t listen to it.

Those last few minutes or hours must have been terrifying. His speeding, passing on the right, passing around corners, her begging him to stop, him screaming at her he was going to kill them both. 

That isn’t love, it has nothing to do with love, what these assholes feel is not love. 

You are their possession and if they can’t have you, no one else can. Don’t kid yourself.

If your ex is threatening to kill himself call 911 and send help if you must, but whatever you do, DO NOT go to him yourself.

Again, children have their mother stolen from them. 

The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the victim ends it. It does NOT help the situation if you keep going back and forth. You ate much safer to just stay away, no matter what he threatens. To go back and forth only antagonizes him and puts you at more risk. 

Yes, it is hard but no contact is the only way to end it with these people. They are not normal, they don’t think rationally, they don’t act like a normal person, they don’t react like a normal person, you can not be their friend.


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7 Replies to “Another Woman Dies – True Story”

  1. This is beyond heartbreaking. 36! Jesus!

    I remember having a boyfriend holding my head down on his lap as he drove MY car, speeding down a back road, near a park. It was an all wooded area at night, no street lights. And he was driving on the wrong side of the road as he spoke in a crazy tone of voice wanting to kill us both.

    Stories like this remind me of that incident and my whole body tightens up. I was so lucky to come out of that alive.

    RIP to this woman, mother and wife. I’m so sorry Carrie for your loss. Hugs.

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  2. How very sad! I remember mine picking me up from a girlfriends house and threatening to drive off the pier with me in the car.
    His words “if I can’t have you no one can” because he was turning the car round I opened the car door and yelled at him.
    “You may have been able to lie your way out of everything up until now but how are you going to explain to my mother and my 2 sons why my last few minutes were spent throwing myself out of a moving car, and that it better be a good f###ing lie to make her believe it!”
    I called his bluff that time and it worked. I packed all his things the next night when he was at work and phoned him to tell him to pick them up. Then I rang one of his friends and asked him to come over. I told him the ex needed a hand moving some stuff, so I had one of HIS friends there when he came home. Because he wanted to maintain his credibility he brought the ‘misunderstood victim’ out to play.
    I knew nothing about narcissism back then but after reading so many shocking and scary accounts from other targets I feel I had a very lucky escape.

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  3. Carrie
    Firstly my heart goes out to your friends sons and husband
    Also to you. But thank you for sharing
    As I write this I’m in A and E because my Narc almost killed me.
    You warn us of the Narc and STIs/STDs
    I picked up yet another’ urine infection off him only this time it was so bad it hit my kidneys.
    5 days with a temperature of 39,7 and he said i was faking it
    Then he refused to call an ambulance
    I don’t know how I’m still here

    I wish I’d paid more attention to your advice on their sexual health

    Please if you can post something on this

    Thank you Carrie

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  4. He never did it, but sometimes it felt like that. So I was scared. When I drove and we had a fight, he would step out of the car when we stood still before the traffic light. I don’t believe the N. will kill himself. So that is a good reason to not go overthere when he says something like that.
    When left I played a game to get out as good as possible. It took a lot of nerve. Thank God he found another woman in no time.

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