My mom was telling me about an accident that happened on Hwy #3 near Hope, BC. Apparently a car had been driving eratically and speeding then crashed into a highways maintenance truck.
The car literally broke into hundreds of pieces upon impact. The first people on the scene was a truck load of fire fighters who immediately started CPR on the female passenger. While they were desperately trying to save her life the driver of the vehicle jumped into the fire fighter’s truck and sped from the scene, leaving his female passenger to die alone in the middle of the highway.
My mom was wondering why he would have been driving erratically prior to the crash and I said, “Maybe he was trying to scare the passenger”.
I thought to myself for a minute, “Have I become cynical? Always assuming domestic abuse when a woman is found dead?”
As I watched the news they flashed the victim’s picture and then showed segments of an interview with her sons and sobbing husband. She was just 36 years old and I knew her.
I hadn’t seen her and her husband for years, probably 10 years at least.
Last night I looked up the husband’s Facebook page and he was talking about how they had been split. His wife had been seeing a guy off and on for a year but she had decided to end it and give her marriage an honest effort.
The guy she had been seeing wouldn’t leave her alone and was threatening to kill himself if she didn’t come talk to him. She went. That was the last time her husband and kids saw her alive.
I was lucky when I got in a vehicle with my ex, ….. just to talk. I have heard more horror stories from people who have visited the blog; than I can count.
Stories of being thrown from a speeding vehicle, having a knife held to their throat, a gun to their head, literally fighting for their life, women set on fire, acid thrown at them.
I am willing to bet every single woman who is murdered by her abusive ex, (and have no doubt, this young woman who died on Hwy #3 was murdered) didn’t believe he would ever really hurt her but her gut told her something else and she didn’t listen to it.
Those last few minutes or hours must have been terrifying. His speeding, passing on the right, passing around corners, her begging him to stop, him screaming at her he was going to kill them both.
That isn’t love, it has nothing to do with love, what these assholes feel is not love.
You are their possession and if they can’t have you, no one else can. Don’t kid yourself.
If your ex is threatening to kill himself call 911 and send help if you must, but whatever you do, DO NOT go to him yourself.
Again, children have their mother stolen from them.
The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the victim ends it. It does NOT help the situation if you keep going back and forth. You ate much safer to just stay away, no matter what he threatens. To go back and forth only antagonizes him and puts you at more risk.
Yes, it is hard but no contact is the only way to end it with these people. They are not normal, they don’t think rationally, they don’t act like a normal person, they don’t react like a normal person, you can not be their friend.