Finding Love When You Least Expect It.

Haven’t you had a friend tell you that they met the love of their life when they had given up on it. “When you stop looking for it and least expect it, that is when you’ll meet “the one”.

I recently watched Dirty John on Netflix and was blown away by how it paralleled my relationship with my ex at every turn. The same instant attraction, the same miscommunications, the same misunderstandings.

Like Debra, I was sick of the losers I was meeting on Plenty Of Fish. They were never what they professed to be. I had even removed my ad and vowed I was done with men, at least internet men. There was one lawyer I had already started talking to over the phone and when I told him I was done with meeting men. He argued that seeing as we had already started talking we should at least meet.

We lived about an hour and a half apart but I was going to be in a small village, about half way between our houses; to book my staff xmas party. If he could meet me there I was willing. He agreed.

I was to meet him at a bar across the street from the restaurant at 5 pm that Wednesday evening.

I was too embarrassed to admit I had already deleted his pics off my computer and didn’t remember what he looked like.
I figured it would be easy enough to pick him out. How many guys could there be by himself, in the bar on a Wednesday night looking like he is looking for someone?!

I got to the bar early, ordered myself a glass of dry white wine and messaged him I was there. He said he was running late and just leaving the office. A quick calculation of rush hour traffic x distance, told me, best case scenario, I had at least an hour to kill. “Great! I already regret agreeing to meet him. I know I don’t like him from talking on the phone, meeting in person isn’t going to change that.

I finished my wine, checked the time, “He shouldn’t be much longer“, ordered another wine and decided to go for a smoke on the outside patio. I got a few cat calls and offers of a place to sit from a few guys.

It was not unusual for me to draw attention from men. I knew I was looking good that night, (in my younger days I could turn heads) 😉 I had on a short jumper dress that made my legs look 5 feet long, 3 inch heels, dark hose, and my shoulder length sun bleached hair was in my usual “freshly fucked” look. (My brother’s description)

I was keeping my eye on the door in case he walked in. Just as I was heading back to my table I saw a guy come through the door. He was very handsome, curly short black hair, glasses, worn jeans, cowboy boots, a crisp white shirt undone just enough to show a little chest hair and stylish black leather bomber type jacket. He looked like he smelled good. He stopped and casually scanned the bar.

Hmmm he’s better looking than I remember. This might work out better than I expected” He was still looking around when I start to walk towards him. Our eyes connected, he smiled, dimples, chiselled chin, clean shaven, nice!
It must be him“.

I gave him a huge smile and started to raise my arms as if to give him a hug as I walked towards him. I could tell he was prepared to hug me back.

At the last moment it hit me, he can’t possibly be my date!
Abort! Abort! He’s much too young! too tall, too handsome….. abort!!”

My first impression was that he was a preppy, university, rich kid trying to look like a bad boy, not a 40 something lawyer.

I took a sharp turn to the left and sat at my table against the window. “Thank God my wine had arrived while I was making a fool out of myself.”

I was sitting there staring out the window, wishing Scotty would just beam me up. “You idiot! That guy must think you are crazy! You almost hugged a complete stranger!! Oh God!! Where is that asshole lawyer??! When I finish this glass of wine I am leaving!!
I was so deep into berating myself I was startled when I heard a soft, sexy male voice ask if he could buy me a drink.

I looked to my right and saw his faded jeans, looking up I got a closer look at the chiseled chin and dimpled smile, smiling blue eyes, and

I stuttered, “Excuse me?”
He laughed and said, “I was asking if I could buy you a drink or are you waiting for someone.”

I could feel my face getting hot as I smiled and said I was waiting for someone, thanks anyway.

He shrugged and said, “I figured you probably were but would have never forgiven myself if I hadn’t asked. You can’t blame a guy for trying. Have a good night.”
I watched him walk back to his table, he had an easy confident stride, cowboy boots type of stride, nice! Yes! I shamelessly checked out his butt, don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t! No slack in the ass jeans there! His jeans fit perfectly! I loves me a man with jeans that fit or more to the point; an ass that fits his jeans. “Shit!”

I had to use the washroom which required walking right past the handsome stranger’s table.
He was on his phone when I went past the first time but he gave me a little wave and smile. When I came out he was off his phone, I walked past but stopped and went back.

“I feel I owe you an explanation for almost hugging you earlier. I’m not crazy, really.”

He laughed and admitted he was curious.
I explained I was waiting for a blind date and had mistaken him for my date but realized he couldn’t possibly be him at the last moment. He laughed and asked why I didn’t know what the guy looked like so I explained about having a personal ad and taking it down, deleting the pics etc. He asked what I thought of internet dating, he had been thinking about trying it but never had. I told him I wasn’t impressed and would stick to the old fashioned way of meeting men.

I went back to my table but decided to go for another smoke, again walking past his table. We smiled and said Hi as I passed. “He must think I am stalking him I keep walking past him.”

While having my smoke I decided that I was just going to leave, this was rediculous. On my way past the handsome stranger’s table he handed me a folded slip of paper, “If your date doesn’t work out I hope you’ll call me.”

Just as I took the note from him, he said, “I think your date is here.”

I looked up at the exact time I was taking the slip and my date’s eyes and mine met as I quickly stuffed the note in my pocket.

I went up to him and introduced myself, he said, “A friend of yours?”

“No.”

There was NO chemistry with lawyer dude. I took an immediate dislike to him. He was loud, obnoxious, and made sure the whole bar heard how much his car cost, that he was a lawyer, how much he spent at the last restaurant he went to etc etc. I was embarrassed to have anyone think I would like someone like that or have the handsome stranger think I would be attracted to anyone that shallow. I hadn’t heard of narcissists yet so I would later describe him as a pompous ass lawyer.

Handsome stranger joked easily with the waitress, paid his bill, went back to his table and slipped a $5 tip under his empty beer bottle, and left, smiling and waving discreetly from behind my dates back. I felt like yelling, “Come back!”

My date droned on and on about himself. “Does he even notice I am not listening to him?” I had to purposely keep my mind from drifting.

The handsome stranger came back in. He caught my eye and smiled, I rolled my eyes, he laughed, got some matches from the waitress and walked out.

I interrupted my date, “I’ve got to go. Sorry. I have an hour drive home and have work tomorrow.”
He was angry. He had just got here.
I said, “Exactly. I’ve been waiting for almost 2 hours. I’m going home.”

He asked if he could see me again and I said, “I don’t think we have much in common, I don’t think another date is a good idea.” I put a $20 on the table and walked out.

In the car I unfolded the slip of paper, the stranger’s name was scrawled across it with his phone number.

My teenaged son had been bugging me to start dating, I had been single a year and a half since my 3rd marriage ended. He was anxious to know how my date went when I walked through the door. I told him about the night, the lawyer and the handsome stranger.

My son said, “Call him Mom!!”

I never called men, “Really? You think I should call? Now?”

My son, “Sure Mom. He gave you his number, call him. What have you got to lose?”

“You’re sure?”

“Call!!”

And so my Harlequin Romance began.

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16 thoughts on “Finding Love When You Least Expect It.

          1. Am ok 🙂 Loved reading your book. I said years back I would stay on my own and its been 5 and half years and I havent wanted to date anyone. I loved reading your book, you have such a way to write …I will catch up with part 2 today 🙂 I have thought about you a lot over the years, its what keeps bringing me back. x

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            1. And how is the wee one? Not so wee I bet! Has the ex stayed away? Good for you staying single, I am very content with my single life. 5 1/2 years!!?? Omg, that long??!! Of course it must be, I have been away 11 years this coming Nov and started my blog 10 years ago about this time of year. Seems impossible to me now.
              You come to mind often, and I always pray you are doing well. Of all the women I met through the blog, you touched my heart like no other.
              So glad you dropped in and said Hi! I am going to start posting more frequently again, I got so busy with life I just didn’t have time.
              I was so very terribly sick for a couple of years with my heart. I was told I wouldn’t last 6 months without a heart transplant, a year and 1/2 ago. I finally found a really good doctor who got me on very expensive meds (she mails me sample packs and got special permission on some so the gov’t pays for them) and my whole life has turned around. I gained back some weight, (I was so skinny I had lost probably 20 lbs). She also got me approved for disability pension which pays me double what I was getting and I am allowed to make almost $1000 more per month without penalty.
              A local golf course hired me as their gardener and I can pick my own hours and work when I am able. My dream job!
              Then I bought a leaky travel trailer off of a Bidding Wars site for $1000 and a friend let me park it on her property. I gutted it and spent the winter fixing it up with cheap or free materials and moved into it about a month ago.
              It’s small but warm and dry, and it’s mine. My friend let me just stay on there and I pay her a month rent to do so. Our dogs get along wonderfully, I help with her yard work, she takes Stella when I have to work and it all works out.
              Then a few weeks ago I bought an old 1993 truck in good condition.
              I will do a post with pics of the trailer.
              I kept telling the doctors, “I am only concerned with quality of life, not quantity. I’m not afraid of dying.” I finally have quality of life and now I want to live.
              It’s been a long haul though!! And you never know what the future holds.
              I hope you are better than just OK, ok is good!! Don’t get me wrong, I just would love to hear you have found peaceful happiness and quality in your life.
              Much love to you and family Hugs Carrie ♥️♥️♥️

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  1. You are GOOD! “Word Smith” has always been one of your talents, but Boy! Is this a whole other thing! Love it, Carrie Reimer…..Love you as you continue to ForgeOn!

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  2. Totally true, lived through that experience & still with my love 🙂 totally unexpected wasn’t “ready” but we are never ready for anything … I went with my guy & to me he is everything.

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    1. We do hear these lovely romantic tails of finding the love of our life and living happily ever after and we all hope to have that in our life. My storybook romance had a different ending. Stay tuned for more.

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  3. Haha this is nice Carrie. Just surprised that you also made another post, I was used to you making one whenever you do make one. Try not to get charmed by the kid and try to not to get dragged along when it feels rushed.

    Also, the title reminds me of back then when I kept saying to my ex about how I never expected to find love when I wasn’t even looking for it. Turns out it was a lie and they just knew how to act like my ideal mate. They were mighty good at it, they sure know how to “win” my admiration and make me fall for them. Also your latest post reminded me of my one sided honeymoon phase with my ex, I would keep writing about them to my friends but my friends didn’t trust them at because everything my what my ex said comes off as made up and there were plenty of things that didn’t made sense. I however was too blinded and just defended them. I only realized after breaking up with my ex about how when you start defending and justifying someone’s statement, that’s a red flag, especially if you do it persistently meaning the narcissist has turned you into a unwitting flying monkey.

    Also just another thing I should probably mention, after breaking up with my ex, I started getting glares and my family were having a psychological warfare against them, it was very subtle but it was enough to make my brow raise. I was then reminded on how the whole incident reminded me of how I experienced the same thing except it was done to influence me rather then scare us and it felt really scary and worrying.

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    1. I wasn’t done typing but, please be careful, there might be a group hanging up and watching to achieve something. I also had people who I considered a friend thinking they were one when they never was and only wanted to get information from me. Which is why I’m suspicious of anyone who wants to talk to me for no reason and is “too” friendly”.

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