Breaking Up Can Be Like A Bad Hangover

Those of you who have ever done alot of partying will be able to relate to waking up in the morning with a hangover. You aren’t sure what you did, you thought you were having fun at the time but you wake up full of regret, self doubt, and generally feeling physically ill, shame filled and drained.

To make yourself feel better you eat a big greasy breakfast, maybe you call friends for reassurance, and you curl up on the couch and watch cartoons. Another “cure” for a hangover is to have the “hair of the dog” or have another drink. Having another drink WILL make you feel better, for awhile, but eventually, you are going to have to sober up and deal with the hang over. If you don’t sober up, you are setting yourself on a destructive path that will only get worse.

A smart person, goes out for a walk, gets some fresh air and exercise, eats healthy food, and surrounds themselves with healthy people.

When you break up with a narcissist you need to do things that are good for you. To call him, see him, have any contact whatsoever, is like having the hair of the dog; you’ll feel better for awhile but eventually you are going to have to go through the pain, you are just reopening the wound over and over again.

An alcoholic gravitates to other drinkers and feels uncomfortable with nondrinkers. When you are involved with a toxic person you gravitate to other toxic people and victims of toxic people because you feel too uncomfortable in the company of healthy people.

Your mind, values, morals, and boundaries have become blurred and you have to keep reminding yourself that right now you need to heal your heart, mind and soul before you make any decisions.

To start dating again right away is not going to help you heal, it’s like a drinker who quits drinking beer and only drinks wine. You’re just switching crutches and not fixing the problem. It will be a problem down the road.

You have a choice to make once you make the decision to leave and that is; how do you want to go forward? Do you want to heal and find happiness or are you wanting to continue with these type of relationships, from toxic man to toxic man? If you don’t take the time to grow and get better you take a very big chance you will meet someone the same or worse.

The damage compiles, it doesn’t go away, you end up taking the baggage from one toxic relationship into the next relationship. If the next relationship isn’t toxic, your baggage just may turn it toxic for you and the other person.

Healing takes time. Make 2021 your year to heal and get healthy. With Covid restrictions it’s not the time to be meeting too many people but it’s the perfect time to work on becoming a better you.

4 thoughts on “Breaking Up Can Be Like A Bad Hangover

  1. Ellebelle2015

    Dear Carrie, thank you for your post again. I once read a book of a Dutch writer and she adviced that some women better get a dog or a cat. It was a book about all kind of problematic men in this world. When I read your posts about 7 years ago and some posts from Dutch writers there was one advice. Just leave and stay on ‘no contact’. I always kept it in mind. Because the first months I stayed in contact with my ex partner. Staying near to him made me calm, but when I was at home the restless feeling appears. That lasted a view months and then I decided to stay on’no contact’ forever. What you describe is really so true. Luckily we don’t have kids with our ex. So we can stay ‘no contact’ forever. For me was the Covid Lockdown a good thing. I had to stay home. Mostly on my own. That teached me to appriciate my home and being alone.
    Looking forward to a new post of you.


    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Ellebelle, I think COVID is actually a good thing for victims of a narc. It’s a good excuse to be alone. Expectations around Christmas are so high and we always think other people are having such a wonderful time, when in fact they probably aren’t.
      I am perfectly happy to stay home alone at Christmas. I am never disappointed. Wishing you a wonderful 2021!! Hugs❤️



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