You may not feel it right now, but today is the first day you start living your life on your terms, honestly, without apology. Doesn’t that sound lovely? To just live true to your core self, with your whole heart and be loved for exactly who you are. Have you ever been loved for being exactly who you are? Just the way you are without having to change anything?
I watched Jane Fonda interviews for hours yesterday, if you don’t have anything to do today I highly recommend watching a few. I’ve always admired her because she was radical, brave, and appeared so confident, an activist, speaking out for the underdog, using her celebrity to do good and as a platform to speak for those without a voice.
Then I find out she was terribly insecure, bulemic, a people pleaser who at the age of 60 decided to find her true self and be the person she was always meant to be and not the person she was told she “should” be.
I love this quote from her, it goes something like this;
“we aren’t meant to be perfect,
we are meant to be whole.”
I won’t go into her whole story, it took several interviews to get the full scope of her life, but I found myself feeling a kinship with her. She is this huge star, raised with extreme privilege, constantly surrounded by famous people and money and she had the same insecurities I did growing up. She was bulemic, like I was, well into her adulthood. Her identity came from the man she was with. She’s been married 3 times like me, and isn’t embarrassed to admit it. She is so down to earth, so giving, and speaks honestly about her mistakes, personal growth and her journey to living true to her core self.
She shared that she left her 3rd husband even though she really loved him, and still does; because she knew if she stayed she would never find out who she was meant to be. She moved in with her son and said she was the most broken she had ever been, in unimaginable pain, and it propelled her on a search to find out who she was.
She researched her parents and their baggage which helped her understand why they parented the way they did. She discovered she had been living her whole life trying to be the person she was told she should be and always feeling she was failing.
That is the same thing I have discovered. When you keep trying to be someone you are not, you live in fear of people seeing through the facade and finding out you’re a fake. You rely on the approval of others for your self worth.
I remember thinking after leaving my ex that I had never been Carrie. I had been somebody’s daughter, somebody’s wife, Kristofer’s mother, even the Lady Witha Truck, the daycare lady, but I didn’t know who Carrie was.
It is such a freeing feeling to figure out who you are and that you like her. I am not perfect, and I hope people love me but I don’t really care if they don’t. I can’t go back to pretending, I want to keep discovering myself, growing and become my best self. I plan on continuing to grow until I die.
Jane Fonda said she thinks, as I do; that a person has to be broken and in extreme pain before they try to fix themselves by finding their core self.
I implore you to take this rare opportunity to explore your inner true self and vow to make 2021 you year to become Wholehearted. Some powerful women are speaking out about finding inner peace by discovering who they were meant to be. It is the only way you can ever reach your full potential, be loved for being you, and find inner peace.
When you live a Wholehearted life you automatically become a better parent, find your perfect job, more confident, shed guilt and shame, eat healthier, sleep better and attract good authentic people into your life.
Try it, what have you got to lose?
Happy Day one of 2021.