Category Archives: Narcissistic Supply

First Date, First Kiss

I don’t know about you, but it never seems to matter how long I do the dating thing I always get the jitters. “What if he doesn’t show up?” “What if he doesn’t like me?”

I kept telling myself that it didn’t matter, I didn’t even know him, but for some reason, with the handsome stranger, it mattered.

Sure enough, he called me at work to cancel, he explained he was waiting for money to come in from his accident.

He told me he was a little embarrassed to admit it but the other night in the bar he had just pawned one of his guitars and he was anxious to get his money so he could get it back.

The money was supposed to be there in the morning but he didn’t know when and he didn’t want to be late or leave me waiting. He had just bought a BMW that he had to pick up and he didn’t want to be rushed. Could we move it to Friday evening instead?

Sure! I didn’t have to work on Saturdays, better for me. He was obviously relieved and surprised. He told me most women would be pissed off.

I didn’t see why a woman wouldn’t understand, it wasn’t like he stood me up, he just moved the date one day.

Friday I wore my new jeans to work so I could meet him at the bar at 6 pm. (Everyone had told me my new jeans made my ass look great). I was waiting in the parking lot when he called to say he was almost there. He said to look for a green BMW. I didn’t know what a BMW looked like but I saw him pull in, he was right on time.

He held the bar door open for me, it was really busy but we found a table.

We were right beside the door to the patio and the door to the kitchen, so there was alot of traffic going by and my chair got knocked into often, it was loud, and he asked if I was ok sitting there. I shrugged and said sure. (I just never get upset about little things like that.)

Again, he was pleasantly surprised, as most women would be complaining about the noise and traffic. I thought, “Sheesh, who has this guy been dating?! It’s a popular bar on a Friday night.”

He ordered steak and prawns. I didn’t eat, I didn’t have alot of money and planned on going Dutch, besides I was nervous and not hungry.

He fed me a prawn off his plate and I ate it. Again, he was impressed I would take food off his fork. I thought, “this guy must have dated some real loser women if he is this easily impressed.”

He asked the waitress for the bill and mentioned he had to work the next day and couldn’t stay out too late. I felt a twinge of disappointment. I pulled out my wallet to pay my share and he said, don’t be silly, he had it covered. Then he said he didn’t want the night to end, and asked if I knew of a quieter place where we could talk.

I knew of a lounge about 10 minutes away. We took his car and parked across the street.

He opened my car door for me and as we crossed the street I felt his strong arm slide easily around my waist in a protective sort of way. My stomach got butterflies.

The lounge was quiet which allowed us to talk more easily. There were no awkward silences, laughter came easy, we had compatible values.

He seemed very humble and almost embarrassed to tell me about his accomplishments. He was very interested in my life, my interests, my job, my son. For once a guy was more interested in hearing about me than trying to impress me by talking incessantly about himself.

By the way he looked at me; intently, as if mesmorized by my every word, I could tell he really liked me. I felt desirable, appreciated, sexy, special; like he felt lucky to be with me.

He mentioned he had left his other car where he had picked up his BMW and didn’t know how he would get it.
I volunteered to help him drive it back to his place, if he couldn’t find anyone else to help him. He was impressed I was willing to do that and seemed surprised.

The way he held eye contact gave me goose bumps. Those blue blue eyes. Our hands brushed on the table. Our thighs touched. Our feet touched. He brushed my hair out of my eyes. Oh my!!

He seemed to have experienced almost too much for a man his age. He was a licensed heavy duty mechanic, a class 1 driving instructor, a ticketed welder/fabricator, had played lead guitar for a popular band before the band got famous (he left the band months prior to them getting their big break) Now he was in school for water/sewer technology because the motorcycle accident he’d had left him unable to do any of his previous trades.

He had said they had told him he would never walk again but he didn’t even limp. He said it was a miracle! I agreed, I had nursed my husband after his motorcycle accident and knew how unforgiving a motor cycle accident could be.

As we crossed the street to leave he grabbed my hand.

*Little electric shocks*

His hands dwarfed mine and were callused and strong. (I have always loved a working man’s hands. No soft pudgy manicured hands for me; calloused hands turn me on.)

He drove me back to my car. We parked. He explained he had to catch the ferry the next day after work to go back “home” to spend time with his mom. He mentioned he goes home every weekend. (That made sense, it was home. But it also meant that any kind of long term relationship between him and I was unlikely.)

He said he would call me when he got off work and if I wasn’t busy we could move his car before he left. Sounded good to me.

Then, it came, that awkward time when a couple kisses, or not.

I decided to take the lead. I thanked him very much and leaned in, brushing my lips against his neck as I whispered, “Thank you. I really had a nice time”. He smelled good, clean, fresh.

I felt his fingers in my hair, and as I pulled away he brushed the hair from my face, our lips touched and he kissed me ever so sweetly. His lips were full, soft, gentle, and lingered; no tongue, not forceful, just sweet and sensual, leaving me a little breathless and definitely wanting more.

THE one thing that determines whether or not there is any hope of a future relationship is how a guy kisses. If he can’t kiss, it doesn’t matter how great he is in any other area; it’s a non-starter for me.

* He could kiss. Oh my God. He could kiss.

For Under A $100 You Can Buy A Replace For Your Narcissist

As anyone who has been involved with a narcissist will tell you, they will bankrupt you financially and emotionally. They are a big black hole that will drain you completely before they move on to their next target. Then just as you are starting to heal, they will pop back into your life to test if they’ve still got “it” and suck you back in for another round of, “pull you close in order to discard you”.

Victims of a narcissist often ask “When will he stop hurting me?” “Why won’t he leave me alone?” “I begged him to leave me alone, why does he keep coming back if he doesn’t love me?”

The answer is very simple, because you let him.

Narcissists are nasty like that. They actually get off on your pain. It’s a huge ego boost to be able to hurt you that badly and be able to suck you back into their toxic web. They do not value your love and loyalty, in fact they are disgusted by it and feel justified to hurt you even worse next time to punish you for your gullibility.

Don’t worry, they will be back as many times as you allow.

I have found the perfect replacement for the narcissist in your life.

The Boyfriend Pillow

https://www.amazon.com/Boyfriend-Pillow-Intimate-Romantic-Companion/dp/B007CPFZ24/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ll1&tag=digestaf-20&linkId=0f94a11ffb53a1438b98593db377c395&language=en_US&th=1&psc=1

You can start with just the pillow for around $35 and once you have had enough time to get to know him and want to take it to the next level you can add a dildo of your choice, for the ultimate boyfriend experience.

If you want the deluxe relationship you can add Alexa (just eliminate the a on the end and call it Alex) to have it all for a fraction of the cost and NO heart ache!!

Ten Reasons Why A Boyfriend Pillow Is Better Than A Narcissist

1. You set the pace of the relationship, no one pushing you for sex too soon or wanting to monopolize your time.

2. You may be thinking “but a pillow or dildo don’t have feelings.” Neither does a narcissist, and a pillow can’t discard you!

3. You always know where your boyfriend pillow is. No more nights wondering where he is, who he’s with and when he will be home.

4. No more sleeping alone while he feeds his addiction to porn, dating sites.

5. Safe sex! You don’t have to worry about getting an STD from a pillow or dildo.

6. You will have great orgasms every time, when YOU want them. No more being forced to have sex whether you want to or not. No more begging for sex and no more being left hanging. (Because let’s face it, most victims of a narcissist will tell you that although sex was fantastic in the beginning, after awhile your pleasure was never considered; unless he was trying to win you back)

7. After the initial cost to purchase your boyfriend pillow, there is no further expense to you. No more lending money that never gets paid back, no more supporting someone who can’t hold a job, no one draining your savings account or taking half your house.

8. Speaking of your house. Its easy to get rid of a boyfriend pillow. They can’t stalk you. They won’t blow up your phone or show up unannounced at your door. If you meet another guy, you can throw the boyfriend pillow and dildo in a box in the attic and it will be there waiting should you ever want it back. No guilt trips, revenge, or bringing up the past.

9. A boyfriend pillow will put his arm around you and just listen for as long as you need without interrupting. Will never tell you that you’re wrong to feel what you are feeling or blame you for your own pain.

10. If you go for the deluxe boyfriend package and get “Alex” you will have someone who will make reservations, book trips, change the music (to songs you want to listen to), turn the lights out and lock the doors. All things you probably had to do when you were with the narcissist. Plus an added bonus; you only have to pay for one when you travel or dine, instead of two.

That doesn’t include all the things any woman could appreciate.

– when you come home after a long day the house is in the exact condition you left it. No dirty dishes scattered through the house, no muddy foot prints on the freshly washed floors.

– only one extra shirt to wash, dry and iron

– no wet towels on the floor or bed

– no dirty clothes laying around

– the toilet seat is never left up

– no whiskers or tooth paste left in the sink (unless you leave them there)

– no one farting, reading in the bathroom, or missing the toilet bowl, using the last of the toilet roll and not replacing it (or putting it on the wrong way)

An added bonus, the boyfriend pillow will always hold a crying baby while you get a bottle ready.

A dog is great (and I would never trade Stella for a pillow) but a dog does restrict a person’s lifestyle, many places don’t allow pets, and they can be expensive.

I think I am onto something here.

Tell me what you think!

* Disclaimer. I love men, I have a son (but then he is perfect) and know many men who I like or love alot! This is meant to be light hearted and to make you smile.

To A Narcissist-Image Is All That Matters

Narcissist don’t care whether the praise and admiration is real; as long as it is loud and often.
He doesn’t care if his lies are believed as long as no one questions him on them.
It is all about the show, how things look, not about reality or consequences. It is about immediate gratification. True wealth, as in money in the bank means nothing, a million in the bank or a million in debt makes no difference as long as they can create the image of wealth. Again a lie is as good as the truth because all that matters is how things look.
I used to listen to my ex on the phone telling his family about the house we lived in and lifestyle we had and I would think, “Are we living in the same house?” It was a rat infested dump but they didn’t know that and all that mattered to him was what they thought.
When he got with his new woman, a widow with money; he came to me saying he was retired and wanted to help me be successful like him. He was the kind of person who wanted to help his peeps. (Yes he said peeps!)I said, “Peeps?” He said, “Yeah, the people important to me, you are one of my peeps, what kind of person would I be if I didnt help people be successful like me?”
I said, “The only thing you are successful at is sucking in a widow with money, I wouldn’t go bragging about it and I’m sure she would have something to say about you helping your peeps.”
Most men would be ashamed to admit they were living off a widow but he brags about the lifestyle she affords him. He actually thinks I will feel bad because she was able to pay for the lifestyle he wanted.
It is amazing how out of touch with reality they really are.