Common Expressions of a Narcissist

Here are a few expressions commonly used by a narcissist. Please feel free to add any you might have in the comment section.

“I don’t know what to say about that”
When he knows he should be showing an emotion but because he doesn’t feel the same as everyone else.

“There are many types of love, the love I have for you is different”
When he is caught saying I love you to another woman.

“They can’t believe their good fortune to finally have someone there who knows what they are doing, it’s going to take me a while to straighten up the mess from the last guy”
(Every time he gets a new job)

“I had them eating out of my hands.”
(Believes in manipulating others to create results).

“You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
(After verbally maiming and then pretending there was more to say)

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”
(A justification for receptively breaking promises)

“Just because I didn’t say what you wanted to hear.”
(A justification for verbal abuse)

“You’re the only person who misunderstands what I say”

“You’re to sensitive, over-emotional, paranoid.”
(Same as above)

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you can’t repeat what I said 5 minutes ago”
(No matter what you say they said they will disagree)

“I’m sorry, what more do you want from me, I can never make you happy no matter what I do.”
(Followed by justifications for the behaviour with body language that is clearly not aligned with an apology)

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry.”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“Why do you have to live in the past?”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“What about your issues?”
(When failing to take responsibility for unacceptable behaviour)

“You make me behave like this, I am only reacting to your actions”
(Same applies for above)

“You’re the only person in the world I have these problems with.”
(Same applies for above)

“I can’t live with your dysfunctional perceptions”

“Why would I want to; come home, answer the phone, do something nice for you, (fill in the blank) when you act like this?”(Diverting blame)

Uses “loop hole” statements, such as:
“I *think* I’m falling in love with you” (he didn’t say he does love you)
“I *could* do this or that” (later he can say I said I could not that I would)
“*If* I asked you to marry me would you?” ( he didn’t ask)
“What size is your ring finger?”
(How you interpret that is not his fault)

“You act like my mother,” or, “You’re a control freak.”
(When asked for the truth or trustworthy / accountable behaviour)

“You know I hate conflict, but you continue to create it”
(When you confront him on something he’s done)

“This is exactly why I look elsewhere, you are always angry”
(When confronted about cheating)

“You should listen to yourself”

“If you knew the truth you wouldn’t be upset” when asked what is the truth then? Replies,”You wouldn’t believe me if I told you anyway so why bother?”

“I’ve had enough, it’s over”
(When confronted on something like continued infidelity, rejecting you for being angry)

“I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person”
(While walking away from an argument)

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850 Replies to “Common Expressions of a Narcissist”

  1. I was with the narcissist for 6 months and in that short time he literally turned my life upside down. The lies, the I love you and in the same breath almost the I hate you. WTF? What I still cannot get my head around is the three stages idealalisation devalue and discard. So glad I have gone NC for 3 months now but he still Hoover’s constantly. I never want to be part of that circus again. I do feel sorry for him only because that is all he has for a life how sad, that he will never know what it is like k e to love someone or feel empathy for someone. To be able to care for someone is an alien concept for him. How very, very sad. Mel

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    1. Six and half months here. My life still upside but off that rollar coaster, and he is not allowed back on or in my playground…Nothing was adding up. I left him but keep finding our more lies, more manipulation tactics, smearing me still. I exposed him. Im still learning about this crazy ride I was on. Lied to from start to finish, and lied about behind my back…Cheated on with multiple people, sex addict, closet bisexual, used sex as s weapin, withheld more, like until I bought him a that new cell phone, paid bills, asked to COSIGN loans…no!!! but sooo sweet and soft spoken, caring, so understanding in beginning. All an illusion to trap you in their web of lies and deception.

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  2. Sometimes when I find myself repeating a pattern or feeling ‘crazy’ I look for support…again. Having 2 Narc adoptive parents has made breaking these patterns a living hell. But one thing that catches my attention every single time…is that- If I am beginning to ‘feel crazy’ it is NOT because I am crazy…it is because there are ‘crazy making’ patterns at work.

    For example- If my ‘new’ boyfriend was having an inappropriate exchange in the facebook comments with a single woman (who doesn’t know he has a girlfriend) and he says things like “You took it wrong”…even though her next comment proved she took it the same way…I know it’s time to cut bait and run!

    Setting boundaries- and stopping it immediately gets me…it usually takes me a day to process my emotions…So I get to hear ALL the lines listed here! Thanks for the article, blog, and everyone sharing! Great reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Some quotes from my narcissist (makes him sound like a pet):
    Never bring a knife to a gun party.
    There are three versions of the truth; mine, yours and the truth. I know the truth.
    I am on this earth to get rid of people like your friend.
    People don’t realise just how clever I am, but they will.
    I know all about dogs/cows/snakes etc. No one else realises how much I know.
    Don’t mess with me, I can tell you stories of what happens to people who do.
    I am tired of having to fix up his (work colleague) mistakes. No one can do this job the right way except me.
    If you ever ‘backdoor’ me you will regret it.
    The only reason we fight is because you push my buttons.
    If you do . . . I will ‘skulldrag’ you.

    Gosh, and I am about to give this man another (lost count of how many) chance. Problem is I care about him. When he is nice he is very nice. He always apologises and does sweet things to make amends. I have told him this is the last chance. Sometimes I think I am the bigger idiot.

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  4. Jennifer why oh why do you keep going back? I know how hard it is to leave them and go contact but for your sanity you must. You cannot fix him and caring about them just makes them more manipulative. Your opening sentence makes him sound more like a pet no he is not a pet he is a very toxic person taking advantage of your caring and loving nature. He will never love you like you want him to. Peace and love Mel xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh it stopps at he will.never love you….
      These people can only love them selves… Been married to one. And it was (no matter what) soulaly my fault, he was right all thw way through.

      Even when a narcissist is nice, they are only nice bacause they want something.

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  5. I dated a narcissist for nearly 5.5 years. All of the signs and behaviors discussed in the many articles I have read about Narcissist behaviors since the break up are so true. I didn’t really know this until it was over…..his behavior patterns make so much more sense now. He was a narcissist…….and unfortunately, I fell for it. He was very charming, then became jealous and controlling, and in the end, had zero empathy for anything regarding our relationship. One of his best quotes was “I will never be second to anyone in any circumstance.” Another of my favorites was “I don’t care what happened to them. They need to get over it.” Also, he never, ever said he was sorry for anything to anyone, even when it truly was his fault; however, he expected everyone else to apologize to him. I constantly found myself feeding his ego, doing whatever he wanted to do, listening to his own self-worth stories, and disregarding my own desires, etc. I am very glad there was so much information on-line to read after the break-up. It was a tremendous help for me emotionally knowing that is was NOT all me. I also know that he will continue to practice these behaviors in the future because he truly does have a mental disorder. I feel SO MUCH better now that I know all about this illness.

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  6. I was in a relationship with one on & off for 2 years. He told me that I was “the only one that brought out the worst on him”. His parents loved me but he said “that’s just ’cause they don’t really know you”. He constantly blew up at me over anything & everything, bad-mouthed me to every single one of his friends completely twisting everything to make himself look like the angel & me like a crazy evil mess when he was so mean & evil & cruel in every way. In the end he dropped me for a new supply since I called him out in front of his friends one night when he lost it on me in public for not paying enough attention to him & smearing my lipstick at a pizza parlour & not running to the bathroom right away to fix it. He was livid that I “looked like a clown” & that OMG, how could I just continue to sit there like that in front of 2 of his friends. I had said I would fix it when I got backnin the car which was only 10 steps away (it was 2am) there were only about 4 more people in the whole place but he was furious at me for this! He called the next day & when I said he’d better be calling to apologize for embarassing me he yelled “You embarrassed ME! You looked like A CLOWN”!!!!! I hung up in disbelief. He was then leaving on a trip with his family to Jamaica, when he got back I received a TEXT saying due to me hanging up on him he decided to move on with someone he met there on holiday from England & had already slept with her. That was all. Asshole did me a favour.

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  7. Ok here arejust a few of the key things. Im still withhim.for now. Only just found all these and its opened my eyes.big time
    1. This isthe real world, yourr living in a fantasy world
    2. Refuses to make eye contact with me when talking
    3. Asks a question, responds to his own question, then gets mad at mefor the answrr
    4 im overreacting, or justfocussing on negative aspects of him
    5 when i raise something hurtful he said. Its always that i heard it wrong, or flatout denial
    6 when i dont bite back and stay calm, he then wont discuss the issue. Says there is no point, or that i dont truley want to understand, or imonly wanting to talk to villanize him
    7 will say hurtful things but then become angry when i get upset. Or tell me that i need to focus on positives more
    8 will accuse me of doing things with intent to annoy him
    9 will become silent and stonewall me and wont show any affection but refuse to tell mewhy or just say nothing im fine. ( when clearly not)
    10 i once told him that i feel that the things he is doingis emotional abuse. Everytime we argue he then says to me. Youre abusing me,thats what an abuser would say
    11 wont let me speak.or will speak for a good10 minutes raising several points but wont let me address what he has spoken about. Or maybe 1 or two thingsuntil he feels he isin someway to blame.
    12 whenever there is a fight he immediately moves into anotherbedroom and googles retal properties. To indicate hecouldleave at anytime.
    But he stuffed up the other day. He revealed himself.
    He had said something hurtful. I had bern trying to talk to him buthe wouldnt letme finish even one sentence. Continually cutting me offand repeating the sameword over and over again. I started crying and yelled “just let mespeak, let me say 1 sentence” to which he responded “”LOOK HOW YOURE ACTING, WHEN YOU BEHAVE ILL LISTEN”” needless to say i lost my mind completely.
    These bits dont even cover half of whathappens.
    How can i tell thedifferencebetween a narcissist or emotional abuser.
    I love this man. But i love myself more. He has gotten worse over time. The more i stood up for myself. I even yelled at him once. Juststop trying you WILL NOT BREAK ME. I am strongerthan u willever know.

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  8. I was a narcissist until I grew up. That’s part of childhood. If you aren’t reigned in as a child, your childhood tendencies stay with you. Here are common phrases;
    This is the way I always do it
    No one cares what I think
    I’m bored
    I want
    I need

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  9. You forgot the number 1 phrase of a narcissist.. “Your overreading/overanalyzing” things.
    And the best one is when they are caught in a lie they do these big breathes and huffy puffy things and then say “I don’t know why I did it”.

    And use big words also when caught like instead they went to look for some money to borrow they say they went to precure some money…

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