Common Expressions of a Narcissist

Here are a few expressions commonly used by a narcissist. Please feel free to add any you might have in the comment section.

“I don’t know what to say about that”
When he knows he should be showing an emotion but because he doesn’t feel the same as everyone else.

“There are many types of love, the love I have for you is different”
When he is caught saying I love you to another woman.

“They can’t believe their good fortune to finally have someone there who knows what they are doing, it’s going to take me a while to straighten up the mess from the last guy”
(Every time he gets a new job)

“I had them eating out of my hands.”
(Believes in manipulating others to create results).

“You didn’t let me finish what I was saying.”
(After verbally maiming and then pretending there was more to say)

“Just because I didn’t do what you wanted when you wanted it.”
(A justification for receptively breaking promises)

“Just because I didn’t say what you wanted to hear.”
(A justification for verbal abuse)

“You’re the only person who misunderstands what I say”

“You’re to sensitive, over-emotional, paranoid.”
(Same as above)

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you can’t repeat what I said 5 minutes ago”
(No matter what you say they said they will disagree)

“I’m sorry, what more do you want from me, I can never make you happy no matter what I do.”
(Followed by justifications for the behaviour with body language that is clearly not aligned with an apology)

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry.”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“Why do you have to live in the past?”
(Followed by repetitive unacceptable behaviour)

“What about your issues?”
(When failing to take responsibility for unacceptable behaviour)

“You make me behave like this, I am only reacting to your actions”
(Same applies for above)

“You’re the only person in the world I have these problems with.”
(Same applies for above)

“I can’t live with your dysfunctional perceptions”

“Why would I want to; come home, answer the phone, do something nice for you, (fill in the blank) when you act like this?”(Diverting blame)

Uses “loop hole” statements, such as:
“I *think* I’m falling in love with you” (he didn’t say he does love you)
“I *could* do this or that” (later he can say I said I could not that I would)
“*If* I asked you to marry me would you?” ( he didn’t ask)
“What size is your ring finger?”
(How you interpret that is not his fault)

“You act like my mother,” or, “You’re a control freak.”
(When asked for the truth or trustworthy / accountable behaviour)

“You know I hate conflict, but you continue to create it”
(When you confront him on something he’s done)

“This is exactly why I look elsewhere, you are always angry”
(When confronted about cheating)

“You should listen to yourself”

“If you knew the truth you wouldn’t be upset” when asked what is the truth then? Replies,”You wouldn’t believe me if I told you anyway so why bother?”

“I’ve had enough, it’s over”
(When confronted on something like continued infidelity, rejecting you for being angry)

“I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person”
(While walking away from an argument)

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834 thoughts on “Common Expressions of a Narcissist

  1. Pia

    Oh and i forgot to add my personal favourite!

    19. “I have only dated beautiful woman. You know there are more beautiful woman than you, right”. When I say what does that mean. He says “I didn’t mean it like that, you are beautiful or I wouldnt be with you, but you understand what I mean right”. Haha…..deranged fool!

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    1. Mj

      My ex went a bit deeper on this: “I’m surrounded by beautiful, young women every day. They want me, they throw themselves at me, my mom tries to set me up with the gorgeous, skinny, hot daughters of her friends. But I chose you because looks dont matter to me. ” huh?

      Then after we broke up, “I always thought you were beautiful, but the way you put yourself down and your self-loathing…I started wondering if there was some wrong with *me* because I was with you!” Huh??
      By this point, I just said, “wow, that must have been really hard for you. “

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    2. Mj

      The bully didn’t win for once.
      My narcissistic ex lied in court, I caught him. I had proof he lied. Judge did not like that. I not only kept physical custody of my kids, the judge gave me legal custody too, to make all health and educational decisions. Finally, the cycle is broken. No contact, except about kids. And no one believed his bs. He waltzed in wearing jeans, completely certain he’d win, no contest. For once, the narcissist was not put on the pedestal and true justice was served. My kids are so happy.

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  2. Pia

    Let me be honest. It took me the first 4 months of the relationship before I started to consider he was playing emotional games with me and 6 months before I knew for sure. I already suspected narcissism a few months ago and made sure to read up/educate myself on this issue to ensure I wasn’t going crazy. I understand now how they can manipulate situations and words. In the beginning I was so smitten and in love with this “wonderful, amazing and romantic” guy, I was blind sighted. There are moments when I feel I am getting sucked in again and question if I am wrong, but the more I read the more I realise, he is narcisstic. This has been my saving grace. Educating myself. I thought I could change or fix him but I now know there is no solution or fix for his problem. I advice anyone out there to educate yourself if you have even the smallest hint or doubt in yourself that he makes you feel inferior. They try to break you down bit by bit. Just remember who you were and your worth before you met this guy/woman! An educated woman is a smart and strong woman!

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  3. Rosie

    The ex would tell me it didn’t matter what other people said about my looks, it only mattered if he thought I was pretty . Gee, thanks. He also often said how much he hated all the drama in our relationship, when he was the one causing it. My personal favorite is when he told me that it had been a couple of months since he had looked at other women and thought about how much he wanted to have sex with them. Then he said he just thought I would like to know that, he acted like he was giving me a wonderful gift. Now, when he told me this we had been together 18 months, so, uh, yeah. See the problem with what he said?

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  4. Sonja Wright

    My N Husband soon to be x. Finally admitted to the marrage councilor that he has been having afears and the rezone for this is i dont give him anufe nurcharing. But hold on after 7 years of the abuse of the N i have a medicale sickness coursed by stress Fibromaliga. And EDS Did i mention that at the time when i was diagnosed with a heart condition he wasnt bothered to come to hospital to visit to give support. Because of traffic. But found out he at 5.30 was going to a women house for you no what. So i wonder why the nurcharing stoped. There’s more . After all this and day before marrage councilor he said to me. Could we stay married and i live a single life. I took my rings off and gave them back to him, telling him why are we going to this marrage councilor and he said for me to see what she is going to say. By the way the marrage councilor said that we should split. I found lots of proof i managed to find this was a surprise for him. He lies and lies and lies. So how much it hurt me i had to do it. Had to go threw the agony of finding it all and looking at it. You wish you didnt no. But you have to save your sole because they will take that if you let them. The councilor recommended we split which is hard but 10000000 times the right thing to do exspecaly for my health and it will improve i hop. The councilor told him to move out that do this one thing for her, as you are going to end up pouting her in a grave. I realy thank this councilor as i am hopping he dose. As he controles every thing even money this will alow me to heal. And also seak the separation. Dont no whats going to happen but i am stronger for it. Just having sombody no the truth other then me that it all isn’t in my head. I am so grateful to God for his help.

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  5. Alexa

    “I’m a handsome 27 year old bachelor, if you don’t think I’ve gotten with many women in the past two years you’re crazy.” – Direct Quote.

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  6. egrayson83

    How about – “I am not your puppet” when asked by me to do the most normal and mundane things like visit with my friends or family for the first time in a year or go to the grocery store with me. Insanity.

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  7. Rosie

    The ex blamed me for his recurring bouts of erectile dysfunction , even though he was already taking Cialis when we met. He told me all the stress and drama that I was causing in the relationship ( uhh, right, it was him from the beginning) was effecting his penis. Aww, I traumatized his weiner. Boo Hoo. Is there nothing these people will blame us for?

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