Support Forum

 

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To all new visitors! Welcome!!
You have found a great group of supportive people who have all been through what you are going through and understand completely the devastation you are feeling.
You are NOT crazy and you are not to blame, you are in a relationship or just left a relationship with a narcissist/psychopath. You are not alone. Come as often as you like to vent, ask questions, cry, and get support and encouragement.
All I ask is that everyone is respectful of each other’s opinions and understands that most everyone here are at a heightened emotional state. While with the narcissist the victim lived with constant trauma, drama and were told constantly that they were wrong to feel what they were feeling and that they were flawed in some way; it makes sense they are very sensitive to criticism. 
Opinions are just that, if someone has a different opinion than you it doesn’t mean someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong. Everyone is entitled to voice an opinion.
I may have an opinion you don’t agree with and I am more than willing to back up whatever I say, so feel free to question me and I will explain why I feel the way I do. Not to convince you I am right but to explain why I feel the way I do and maybe I will give you some information you didn’t know before. Or maybe you will enlighten me. An exchange of ideas is healthy and how we learn. 
Just remember, narcissists are basically all the same but the victims are as different as people can be, we all have our own history and frame of reference. Please respect that!
Hugs
Carrie

7,039 thoughts on “Support Forum

  1. Bittersweet08

    I have a question for the group. So doing research on N and P behavior, one common thing I found is they use the ‘silent treatment’ to inflict hurt. My N never really used the silent treatment through out our relationship; however, I have gone No Contact several times, not to inflict hurt, but quite possibly to get attention from him and most of the times to get away from the abuse. Does that give me some N tendencies as well?

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    1. helen

      Not sure about the silent treatment but being with some one like that you need a break. Their behavior is not stable one minute its nice next they need drama you just don’t know where you stand. But coming back from N/C you are just going to have a another dose of the same medicine. Well I am sure you might pick up on some of their traits but these people are not mentally well.

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    2. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Bittersweet, there are many traits to a narcissist, they may not have all of them and having one trait does not make you a narcissist. My ex didn’t give me the silent treatment til the very end. often times I was the only one who knew where he was, his mother phoned me if she couldn’t get hold of him.
      I will warn you about No Contact, it is not to be used as a way to get the narcissist to shape up, to do that is playing with fire, narcissists are very unpredictable and you never know when they will get sick of the game, have nothing left to take from you, bore with the game and decide to get rid of you. They do not have a conscience, none, no guilt, no remorse, no empathy. Killing you is not a problem.
      I suggest you educate yourself more on the traits of a narcissist so you understand what you are dealing with. These people are not to be trifled with believe me.
      Good luck

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  2. Brooke

    First of all, I am so thankful to have found this page. I’m planning to begin therapy soon, but until I can get there, this is an amazing support system. My story begins much like many of yours. We met at a party, and he saw that I was not quite fitting in with the group there but noticed some common interests that we had and used this to pull me in. My friends had a bad feeling about him from the start, but I was convinced they were wrong. He lived a few hours away. We dated very casually for a while and talked almost constantly every day. His opinion suddenly changed from casual to relationship when I went out of my way to visit him. I now view this as one of my first red flags (other than the fact that he was already telling me about his “crazy” exs). As soon as he professed his love for me, like actually saying “I love you”, he began posting things about me all over his social media, how wonderful I was, how I don’t compare to anyone he has ever met. As soon as I agreed to be his girlfriend, he convinced me that my roommates were treating me terribly and that he should move in with me so that he could be there to defend me. As someone who deals with some insecurity, this seemed like such a noble thing. He was unemployed at the time, but he promised me he would find a job within a few weeks. The job search went way more slowly than he promised. And any time I asked why, he would blame it on that “one time you got upset it frustrated me so now I can’t focus.” My roommates moved out. He found a part time job that he would occasionally go to. I was left with all the bills and without many friends. The one friend who stuck by me through all of this was a “bad influence,”and I would get the silent treatment for hanging out with her. I caught myself sneaking around my own home just to talk to friends or family. I would have to send pictures of where I was to prove to him that I wasn’t lying (although I had never lied to him…but his ex had). He would tell me lies to try to get me to “tell the truth” even though I was hiding nothing. One day I finally had my breaking point when he thought he had gotten away with stealing money from me, and I called him out on it. I went to dinner with a friend and planned my escape strategically. He refused to leave my apartment unless I got police involvement after I broke up with him. He told me i was a terrible person, that he was making me better, and he hopes I don’t go back to who I was before. I was scared of him. Scared in my own home. So I went and stayed at a guy friend’s house. When I told him where I was, he called me a whore and threatened my life and then threatened to take his own because he needed me. He then turned that on me when I told friends about it. Even after this, he somehow convinced me to try to make amends, and it had to be publicly…like allowing him to post on my facebook page or instagram because I had “ruined his reputation.” I still justified it as just the “tension of a bad break up.”I still blamed myself. The roommates who moved out to avoid watching my downfall were now reaching out…but I turned them down…and told them it was none of their business. Until about two weeks ago, I was still letting him control me. Just last week he made verbal threats against my two friends who he knows have been helping me through this. He is now demanding that I send him money for a little bit of damage to one of his items that was left in my home, or he will press charges against me and share private photos I had shared with him all over the Internet. After I blocked him, he got his mother involved and she is now telling me how terrible of a person I am because she knows his twisted, fake side of the story. Any advice? I’m tired of living my life in fear of what he’s capable of.

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    1. kim

      brooke this is called crazymaking they make you feel like youre going mad its hard but having no contact is the only way to realise they are insane not you this is an amazing support here its helping me on a very long journey good luck youre not alone xxx

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  3. Alex

    My Story
    I am so thankful for this site and so many others that have helped me figure out exactly what my ex is. I just can’t believe that it has taken me 20 years to figure out that my ex is an N. I feel very saddened by this b/c up until this point I thought I could fix him. After he pulled his N antics on myself and my children for the third time in 3 years, I finally decided there had to be something seriously wrong with him to do this to us…again. Now I am trying to really pick up the pieces of my life and know that I HAVE to get away from him for good. The bad part is that I am currently trying to fix up “our” house to sell. For the past sixth months when he was in phase 1 (loved me so much wanted to help me) we started fixing up the house together. Now that he has gone to phase 3 (not talking to me to “punish” me), I’m not sure what to do. Unfortunately I need his help to get the house sold. I need to sell it b/c its in both of our names and I just want to close this torturous book with him…forever. In addition, I am so ANGRY with him right now that I feel a little like the narcissist bc I want to say really mean things to him. I know this will pass bc, again this is the third time he has done this to me.

    Here story of my 20 year roller coaster with this man. I feel like each time I write about it and get it out, it helps me move on a little. We started dating when I was only 16 and he was 17. High-school sweethearts. Looking back now the signs were there even when we were dating and he kept breaking up with me bc I didn’t understand and agree with him talking to his ex/gf). I guess I should have seen it then but I was young and in love with the passionate and intense part of his narcissist game. I got pregnant right out of high school and we got married when my son was 3 months old. Thought it was true love but now I am not even sure if he is capable of love.

    Here is the slight twist in our relationship that I have not really found in another story, I am the one who had the first affair. Although now, I’m really not sure if he had any early on or before mine. I always suspected he did but he swore he didn’t and always turned it on me. My first one was early on in our marriage and boy did he make me suffer for it. But I stayed and took it and and even felt I deserved it. I walked on eggshells for 13 more years trying to do everything right. Trying to love him with my everything and again thinking my affair was the reason for his hot and cold, his love and hate. The fact that nothing I could do was right, all of my friends were wrong. He wanted me to be sexy for him but I never knew if he was going to compliment me or make me feel horrible.

    We swept the first affair under the carpet and I believe that it fueled his narcissism by allowing him to totally control me and I allowed this to happen. We did have a great sex life and a real passion for each other that has never gone away. I am honestly just realizing and seeing this for the first time but I want to make something very clear; I am in no way using his N as an excuse or justification for my behavior/affair. I am accountable for my decisions do feel shame and guilt for hurting him. I believe he is an N bc his parents both are and he had a horrible childhood but I also can’t help but wonder if my actions fueled it and made it worse.

    I was the doting wife for 13 years and after reading your story, so much of your life mirrored mine. Happy for a fleeting moment, loving, good sex, then something sets him off, anger, silence, blame shifting, guilt, judgement, punishment, trying to make me feel jealous or insulting me, make up sex, happy again…over and over. I eventually grew tired of NEVER being able to make him completely happy, feeling like I was always inadequate in something I did, and walking on eggshells. I know this is wrong but started confiding in a male coworker who I now feel was in my same situation I should not have done this and now realize that this was the wrong way to handle my situation. We know where this story goes…maybe I will save it for another board. That was five years ago. I broke off the affair after only a couple months bc of my guilt and the affair was exposed.

    So on top of everything else we now have a narcissistic relationship with the pain of affairs. His reaction was leaving me, coming back, having his own affair, leaving me, coming back etc… the endless cycle. I begged to go to counseling and he did go with me a couple of times but then got angry with the therapist when she tried to hold both of us accountable for the affairs. He left again in 2012 and when I started to really dive into my own issues and figure myself out and realize what I needed to do to be a better person, he came back and said he forgave me and wanted a new beginning. My love for him, guilt for hurting him him, life I always craved to have with him, the chance for a new beginning, and the fact that I felt as a person that I finally was strong enough to be good enough.

    I got on a marriage website that showed people how to deposit love and care for each other, showed the formula. He got on board for a hot minute too but kept resisting and reverting back to my affairs and justifying his. Saying he would never have had one of his own if it wasn’t for me. Again, loving me passionately to hating me passionately was a daily occurrence and their were eggshells everywhere! This went on until the fall of 2013 when my stomach had been in knots for two months and I couldn’t figure out why. I suspected an affair but didn’t even want to go there!

    In September he told me he wanted to separate and possibly divorce. I did not know at this time but he had started seeing someone the previous summer and by September he had reeled her in enough (phase 1) to feel comfortable enough to push me aside (I was no longer useful to him at this time).

    To make this incredible long story short, we divorced in April of 2014. Even after we divorced however and he moved on (with someone who he was cheating on me with…but that’s my fault too) he has come back to me at least four times expressing his undying love for me. The first two times I was able to resist. I was enjoying the single life, my life, not being controlled or made to feel like shit if I breathed the wrong way. I was in another brief relationship with what I now see as a sociopath (boy do I know how to pick them..lol) This relationship drove him mad. He obsessed over it, dug up dirt on this guy, told him he would take my children away from me if I kept seeing him. But the single life does get old and I got lonely bc despite what my ex has programmed me to believe all of these years, I am pretty picky and don’t just go out and date anyone and everyone for attention.

    So, I am ashamed to say that I did let him back in last summer even though he was engaged to be married (a decision he said he made bc I wasn’t ready to move fwd with him…another red flag…I know). He convinced me once again that he was not happy with her. That she was a rebound to escape the pain of my betrayal that he never dealt with. And I believed him!! Here is the deal, I am not a stupid woman. I have my masters and am actually pretty smart, but something about this man gets me every time. This affair was short lived however b/c I, of course did something wrong in his eyes but he refused to tell me and he ran back to her leaving myself and kids confused and trying to wrap our brains around it, once again (yes, unfortunately our kids have been dragged into this several times). We are both at fault for that but he is the one who told them that he was leaving his fiance and we would be a family again…not right! I picked up the pieces of my heart once again and he, like a true narcissist, went cold for several months, remarried in October and I tried to move on. I wish that was the grand finale but there is one more chapter.

    The vicious cycle began again this past December. We started talking again and he convinced me that he was unhappy in his marriage, he never gave us a true shot, he loved me more than anything…same song and dance but my unconditional love (co dependence) for him made me once again decide to give him a chance…hoping this time would be different. From January to May he showered me with love and promises. “Good morning, you’re amazing, you’re my world, I have changed, I have finally forgiven you completely, I see you have changed, we are going to be so good this time, you’re my soul mate, I love you more than you will ever know…blah blah blah.” Once again I fell hard and thought for the first time that we could do this. Not realizing this is the exact cycle of a narcissist that can never truly find love (now I know).
    He did fulfill his promise of leaving his current wife who according to him was “totally crazy, not affectionate enough, selfish, controlling, bad kisser, bad lover, rebound to help him get over me.” Name it, he told me about it. And I believed every word. After all, we’ve been together since I was 16, we have kids together and I wanted to believe so bad that we could have true love without conditions. I knew that he just ran to her to escape me (which I do believe is true just didn’t realize then that this is a cycle will never change).

    In June I started to feel an increasing feeling of fear and doom and didn’t really know why. After all he left her, I was doing everything to ensure and protect us and our future. Our kids were told by him (again) that this was the real deal that he loved me and would not go back to her. They were excited and on board as well. We even went on a family trip to Chicago during father’s day. This is actually when I started to have doubts however. One he was still talking to his ex and kept putting off filing the papers. Two, while all my friends and family knew about us and even though he had been separated and said that she knew it was because he truly loved me, he wanted to keep us a secret from his friends and family to “protect me”. He said that he did not want anyone to judge me and call me a homewrecker. Once the divorce was finalized he would tell his family and if they did not accept me then he would choose me over them. It sounded logical at the time because his family is very judgmental and now that I know what narcissism really is, possibly even more narcissistic as he is.

    I brushed my fears aside however because he was still being somewhat affectionate. However he had already started to fall into his old ways of being snappy, controlling, getting angry very easily, nitpicking at everything, and making rude comments about me. The “good mornings” and “I love you” become less frequent and more forced (I am in no way a need person but when you go from that extreme to nothing it does leave one confused, especially since we have been through this cycle before).

    We decided to be completely open and I had nothing to hide so I let him go through everything of mine to show him that I was trustworthy and make him feel safe. My phone, social media, etc… was left open for him to see. He did the same with me but I felt no need to trespass on him, I wanted to trust him and didn’t feel it was healthy to “hunt” for flaws. On June 25th He however found his narcissist “trigger”. On an old phone I had a text from a year ago that sent to a guy that I had talked two only a couple of times. Only a kiss was even shared and I never had any intentions of taking the relationship any further. Even if I did, it had nothing to do with my ex! It was irreverent to us then and now. But my ex did not see it this way. To him the date I sent the text was the period last summer that we were talking and he felt this as being the ultimate betrayal on my part. The fact he was still with his fiance (now wife) at this time and I found another text that I sent to him the day prior telling him that we needed to stay away from each other until he figured out what he wanted, DID NOT MATTER!

    This was the tripping block back into his narcissistic rage and his true self showed its ugly face again. He went cold, accused me of being a liar, a cheater, not changing, not being able to trust me again. Turned cold as ice on me and started trying to patch things up with his “wife” . Of course he tried to hide it from me but my gut and the fact that he has done this before (see I’m getting smarter..and stronger) told me something wasn’t right. So last Wednesday I confronted him on everything but I didn’t ask him “if” he was. I demanded to know how long and would not even let him talk until he answered me. In fact, I barely let him talk at all bc despite the fact that I did not have an actual name for what he is or what he does, I knew that this time I was not in the wrong and letting him spew out his venomous lies (sorry, I’m still a little angry) was not going to happen this time.

    So here I am again back to square one, but this time I feel stronger and see him for who he really is. I have actually researched and FINALLY figured out that while I am not perfect, EVERYTHING that goes wrong is not my fault. I can’t lie thought even after all of this pain I have the desire to want to help him. I just have to keep reminding myself that I can’t help him and that it is time to help myself and my poor children who have suffered enough.
    So here I am…writing and learning how to heal and end this vicious cycle…FOREVER! I need to break the chains that he continues to put me in but I need all the help I can get!

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Alex, welcome to my sight. I am sorry you are going through this but you have come to the right place if you are looking for support and understanding people who have been where you are. Your experience has some rather unique components to it but in the long run, all relationships involving a narcissist are shockingly similar.
      One thing you must realize is that no matter how you think you are now starting to heal because you have figured out what your husband is, the true healing does not start until you are no contact with him.
      We have all at time felt we were able to walk away from the relationship but the narcissist is so good at manipulating their victims the victim gets sucked back in time after time and the narcissist rarely ever completely severs all times. It may appear that way but they almost always make a curtain call promising everything under the sun to get the victim to come back. That cycle will continue as long as the victim allows it.
      But we will get to that over time right now you want to know what to do about the house and leaving the narcissist.
      Here are a few things that come to mind
      1 – Do not tell him you want out. – If he knows that he will do everything within his power to prevent it from happening. He may treat you like shit, may not seem to care one iota about you or the relationship (and he doesn’t and never has) but once you have been his wife you are his property to do with as he pleases. You deciding it is over will not go over well and could be really dangerous for you and the children. 70 of domestic homicides happen just before or within 2 years of the victim leaving the relationship. Be as covert as possible.
      2 – Do NOT tell him you know he is a narcissist!! It will not work in your favor. It won’t hurt him, it won’t make him think “OMG I must change!” and you will never get remorse or closure. He will always blame you for everything whether you tell him what he is or not. If anything he will read up on narcissists and start telling everyone that is what you are!
      3. – If you are not already, keep a journal and don’t let him know. Record any and all infidelity, suspicious activity, any abuse etc. It could be invaluable in court later. if nothing else it will help you keep your sanity when he starts gaslighting you and giving you word salad.
      4. – Get independent legal counsel. I don’t know the divorce laws in the states and you need to know them inside and out, because believe me he will not be fair in the division of property. Cover your ass!! Narcissists hate to share, and if given any opportunity will leave the ex destitute.
      5. Do NOT get involved with anyone for a couple of years and especially while you are still married to him. I am not judging you but it only complicates an already totally dysfunctional and toxic relationship plus it will give him material to make you feel guilty, gain sympathy from family and friends and believe me he will use it! On top of that, your children need a break from new partners coming in and out of their lives, they need you to heal and get healthy so you can help them heal and get healthy. If you date too soon (before the 2 year mark) your chances of meeting another narcissist are extremely high and you nor your kids need that. I can not emphasis it enough!! the two main ingredients to surviving this and coming away healthy and happy is NO CONTACT AND NO DATING! Find yourself, your inner true self and learn to set boundaries and become the best you that you can be. When you have true inner peace and are living true to your core self you will never allow anyone to ever treat you “less than” again.
      6. As for the house repairs. That is a tough one because for one thing, narcissist are not known for doing anything because it is expected of him. He says things all the time and makes promises all the time that he has no intention of following through on. He said he would help because he thought that is what you wanted to hear and he was trying to win you back, now that he has you back for sure it will not be priority for him. I don’t know what kind of work is involved or your money situation. That is where legal advice would help. I don’t know what the laws are where you are but in Canada it is not uncommon for the woman to stay in the house with the kids until the kids are out of school and then she has to sell and split the proceeds. Whatever you do, you can not and should not rely on him to do the work. if you are split it will keep him in your life and in control and he will leverage it to make make your life hell. If you have any friends, family or know a handy man who works cheap, get all the help you can to fix it up enough to unload it. You will undoubtedly not make as much money as if you finished it the way you wanted but that is a choice you have to make. Possibly years of battling with him to get it finished or peace of mind.
      7. Download and read my Safety Plan at the top of the blog, do not underestimate how evil a narcissist will be or how far he is capable of going to save himself from losing anything. Narcissists are born the way they are, you nor your affair had anything to do with him becoming a narcissist. Their brains are wired differently than a normal person. They do not feel guilt, remorse, or sympathy. they can’t. Any guilt you thought you saw was an act, believe me! If a person doesn’t have a conscience or guilt there is nothing stopping them from murder. Don’t doubt it!!
      8. Start doing the Grey Rock Method of dealing with a narcissist. An N thrives on the emotions of others, they cause drama because it is visual proof that they are in control of the other person. Attention is attention, whether it is anger, sadness, love, hate, fear…….. he doesn’t care as long as he is getting a reaction. Grey Rock involves being boring. Don’t react to his infidelity, don’t cry, don’t yell, don’t laugh. Be a grey rock. boring. speak in monotone, and use few words, Example: He doesn’t come home all night
      You: do not even acknowledge that he was not home and go about your business like usual. You are not angry, not sad, not loving, you say nothing about it.
      If he tries to bait you into a reaction you walk away. If he asks what’s wrong. Answer “nothing”.
      No long speeches, no explanations, one word answers. You come home every night, spend time with the kids, are pleasant with the kids. no tit for tat. Do not tell him you don’t love him any more and are pulling away NO EXPLANATIONS!!
      Hopefully he will get bored and move on to a new woman and dump you. That is the prime position for you to be in- if it is his idea to leave and he has someone else to feed off of.
      Well that is about it for now. You must lead an exemplary life!!! no affairs, no partying, he will be looking for any excuse to take the children away from you, mark my words!! he will know it is the one way he is sure to hurt you and he will do it! Ask anyone who has split from an N who has children. He will try to make you look like an unfit mother. You must be a saint!!
      We are here for you as moral support. Please keep reading there are tons of useful posts on here buried, educating yourself on what to expect and what you are dealing with is vitally important and understanding how their mind works will save you a lot of heart ache. Learn from the mistakes of others!
      Good luck
      Hugs
      Carrie

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      1. Alex

        Carrie,
        The good news is, I have already divorced this man. It was two years ago this past April. He actually already remarried and now I see he is doing the same exact thing to her. Without even knowing what he is today, I was actually rebuilding my life without him and it honestly felt pretty damn good!

        The bad news is, he unfortunately sucked me back in last summer and it has been a nightmare ever since. I’m 99% sure that he has now gone back to her (his current wife) and is doing the same thing with her to win back her good graces. For me, I feel like I’ve been hit by a ton of bricks(again) and feel incredible lost and helpless.

        In addition, before you responded to this, I already told him I wanted away from him forever and told him he was a narcissist that needed help (so I essentially broke two of your rules). I have been waking up the past few days scared for my life, something I’ve never felt before but now that I see him for his true self (finally), it really scares me.

        I will keep reading and learning and try my best not do rely on him for anything. I have to become the Grey Rock, ONCE AND FOR ALL. Because I know that he will be back to try to sink me again.

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        1. Carrie Reimer Post author

          Alex, you can be sure he is doing the same thing to his new wife. It is so typical of a narcissist to leave one woman and then as unbelievable as it sounds they manage to get the ex wife to become the other woman. They love triangulation! if they can get two or three women fighting over them they get the most delicious narc supply. The women end up fighting amongst themselves and he sits back and watches them do the “pick me dance” to quote Chump Lady.
          Once you are on to what they are it becomes impossible to keep lying to yourself and part of the reason you feel so lost and helpless. As long as you were able to lie to yourself about the whole relationship you had hope things would work out. knowing and accepting the truth means it is truly over and to continue would be asking to be hurt. You know for certain that things will never change, but in the meantime you got yourself in so deep it is going to be really hard to extricate yourself.
          Believe me, I did it in royal fashion; and felt like an absolute fool for it but what was done was done and to continue living the charade was going to see me dead, either by my own hand or his.
          You MUST do this for yourself and most importantly for your kids.
          Hugs

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  4. Bittersweet08

    Tomorrow will mark 7 weeks of no contact for me! And for the first time in a long time, I am starting to feel happy again! I have my moments of anger, pain, sadness and confusion, but actually I’m starting to smile again. I’m back to living my life; however, I’m still looking over my shoulder and knowing that at any moment, not by my allowance, he could come back to inflict pain.
    I’m enjoying friends and family for the first time in a very long time! My relationship with my daughter is growing and loving again!
    For anyone new to this blog, and contemplating going no contact, I strongly urge that you do it! Yes, at first, it was extremely hard; however, for your own safety and growth towards finding the peace and happiness you long for, it has to be done!
    Much love, much peace and stay strong and safe!

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    1. Carrie Reimer Post author

      Bittersweet08. thank you for sharing! and congratulations on 7 weeks no contact!! that is fricken awesome! it gets to the point where you feel so good without him in your life you start to fear seeing him, even by accident because you know it is only going to be painful. You are proof that s difficult as it is in the beginning that addiction has to be broken before true healing can begin and a person starts to see clearly again.
      The times of sadness and self doubt will get less and less and be shorter the more time you are away from him. So proud of you!!

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  5. Alex

    Thank you so much for responding. That makes me feel so much better and gives me strength to move on for good this time. I feel so horrible for anyone who does not discover or realize their partner is a narc, can’t believe it took me 20 years. But now that I do know and know the true pain of going back (way too many times) I can’t allow it to happen again, mainly for my sanity and my children. I also have to let go of the guilt of not being able to “save” this man from himself.

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  6. jane

    We are in our late 60s and seeing each other for 18 months now.We don’t live together.From the start he told me he wanted a onesided intimate thing with me and no relationship like girlfriend boyfriend. the narc was married once.From the start I cared for him and went along with this nightmare.He is cold aloof angry and says he has no feelings for anyone including me.He doesn’t like any closeness and the intimacy is for him only without being graphic.L cant sleep at his house.Only please him there and he takes me home.No hanging out or staying at his house.From his bedroom to his car to home.Why does he act this way? Doyou think he was hurt by some female and now protecting himself from me? That’s not a typical narc because they have no feelings.Im looking for excuses for why I am staying with him.Why do I care for a man who treats me like dirt and everytime I go home from seeing him I cry and so depressed.I feel so alone and empty and horrible but yet I cant leave him.Why is he putting this cold,onesided wall between us.Please can you explain why he doesn’t want a relationship with me but had one when he was married..I am always sad and feel like im dead inside.Im not happy like I was before I met him.Why do I care for him.Can you tell me please.

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