Support Forum

 

graphics-welcome-859433
To all new visitors! Welcome!!
You have found a great group of supportive people who have all been through what you are going through and understand completely the devastation you are feeling.
You are NOT crazy and you are not to blame, you are in a relationship or just left a relationship with a narcissist/psychopath. You are not alone. Come as often as you like to vent, ask questions, cry, and get support and encouragement.
All I ask is that everyone is respectful of each other’s opinions and understands that most everyone here are at a heightened emotional state. While with the narcissist the victim lived with constant trauma, drama and were told constantly that they were wrong to feel what they were feeling and that they were flawed in some way; it makes sense they are very sensitive to criticism. 
Opinions are just that, if someone has a different opinion than you it doesn’t mean someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong. Everyone is entitled to voice an opinion.
I may have an opinion you don’t agree with and I am more than willing to back up whatever I say, so feel free to question me and I will explain why I feel the way I do. Not to convince you I am right but to explain why I feel the way I do and maybe I will give you some information you didn’t know before. Or maybe you will enlighten me. An exchange of ideas is healthy and how we learn. 
Just remember, narcissists are basically all the same but the victims are as different as people can be, we all have our own history and frame of reference. Please respect that!
Hugs
Carrie
Advertisements

7,728 thoughts on “Support Forum

  1. Crb

    Forgot to mention he has to legally pay child support ,she needs a good family lawyer I know they are expensive but they are so worth it I had to pay $10,000 from my RRSP to go thru with separation agreement and divorce I know it is a lot but so worth it , depending , in Canada there is legal Aid but you have to be pretty poor to get it ,Advocacy centres for women have high amount of info , she needs moral support and nice to know you are there ,

    Like

    Reply
    1. Diane

      He has paid no child support to her for the past seven months. He will have to pay back support and I am sure that will go over very well with him…..not! She has a good lawyer but he just lies so much and twists history and reality that he tries to make her look like she is crazy. This man is so twisted and messed up. She even named the other woman in her divorce and was hoping she would come forward but she is staying silent. The other woman even paid for his lawyer!!!!! I am sure she is the next victim but she doesn’t know right now he is playing both sides and lying to her as well. I know it sounds mean but I can’t feel bad for her because she was with a married man but I do understand that he may have lied to her initially and now she is just being manipulated by a monster.

      Like

      Reply
  2. Crb

    Please let your friend that this is a great site for dealing with A Narc ex , surviving to thriving a awesome video on there about “”how to EXPOSE a Narc in court and/or to a Psycologist ” do not deal with them with emotion only facts ,LOOK UP GREY ROCK ,don’t look st it as a fight as you will feel you will never win,this will help u keep your sanity ,,,they are ill equipped for logic ,,watch the video I found it last night ,, I have been thru hell with the ex Narc,do not let them see they are getting to you !!! All the best ,,

    Like

    Reply
  3. vikkimclongnamevitch

    Hello, I’m new so idk of I’m doing this rite.. I just wanna talk and get my feelings out. I met this great guy (at the begning) , fell on my face, and now I’m pregnant. I didn’t think things would get worse.. At first it was just emotional problems, that turned into trust problems. I thought I could fix him and help him, he just lost his children at the time lost his family.. I wanted to be there. I played for his lights to be on, played for a car to get loaned out.. But its like NO matter what I do its not good enough. I’m constantly doing the dishes or cleaning, I’m not eating as much I barley sleep.. When I found out I was pregnant he got great again, now its a cycle. Every two weeks its great the next are horrible. I’m lazy, and a loser, my family doesn’t love me, everyone thinks I’m a whore. I’ve heard it all. But I can’t bring myself to leave and I’ve never been this way before. I’m so valnurable with this baby and even though hes like this I love him… My thearipist tells me I love the him I thought I knew.. But idk. I pack my stuff call my gram but once she gets to my place I can’t walk out. I’m so scared CYS will take her from me cause of the abuse (emotional) . I’m a nervous wreck. I have no one to talk to he cut my family off from me. I moved two hours away from them and all I have is my gram up here… I feel trapped. Everytime I try to make a friend, im being a whore. So when/ if they call me I have to tell them to “pls stop calling me” as I’m writing this I’m pretending to take a shower cause I can not have my phone if I go anywhere. He always tells me I choose the phone over him.. My cat is a nervous wreck too won’t come out from under the bed cause of the screaming. I know your all screaming LEAVE him. But I can’t, idk if its hormones. But I just can’t bring myself too. I’m sorry for the long post I had to get things off my chest…

    -good vibes-

    Like

    Reply
    1. Diane

      As hard as it is you need to leave. If he is like this now it will only get worse when you are giving attention to your baby over him. Think of leaving as protecting your baby. No one should live their life scared. No one should be mentally, physically or verbally abused. If you are hiding to get get help then get your gram to get you and get out. You sound young and you should have a happy life. I wish you luck but the fact you asked for help is the first step to admitting you are in a toxic relationship. Good luck to you and your baby. Hugs to you

      Like

      Reply
    2. Leigh

      Hi,

      I wanted to respond to your post because there are a lot of similarities to what I went through and hopefully it helps. I am mid-twenties age, left my narcissist ex March 1st officially… End of last summer I found out I was pregnant, but something felt off so I did not tell my boyfriend right away. He kept me sheltered from the world and would be gone at all hours with his phone off while I stayed home cooking and cleaning and hoping it was my turn to get some attention. Like you, we moved hours away from my family so I had no one to lean on. I had a miscarriage at work at 8 weeks. I went home very upset and when he came home I was sitting on the couch crying. I told him what happened and he seemed very happy about it. I told him how fucked up he was for that. He went to work, came home for ten minutes, then went out drinking with his phone off until 4 am. I’m sure he cheated on me. He did that the whole week while I went through the miscarriage. I worked full time during it, and had to have someone at work look after me incase I hemorrhaged otherwise my doctor would not let me leave the office (since I technically had no one at home to look after me). Six weeks after the miscarriage I felt funny again, and thought maybe I had already gotten pregnant. My boyfriend could tell something was up, so I told him my concerns and he seemed very sweet and supportive while I cried. Eventually he got me to calm down a little and even laugh some. We always playfully wrestled just acting like kids but this time was different. It started out like playing but then when he had me on the ground he hit my stomach over and over. I was instantly petrified and burst into tears as not even ten minutes earlier I told him I thought I might be pregnant again. He did not seem apologetic whatsoever. This was the exact moment I realized I was dealing with something out of my league and I could not fix him. That’s when I started my research and discovered what he was. I was very open with him and talked with his parents about his mental disorder, and while they agreed and even apologized to an extent they protected him at all cost. From there the leaving was difficult as I had nowhere to go and he made sure I was never financially well off enough to leave. We lived together for four months going back and forth while I tried to leave. There were nights (like new years eve for example) that I would be ready to go out and he would start shaking violently on the floor, crying about his past and his life like he was not with our reality, then be fine as soon as I’d take care of him–and mind you, I did not do this out of love but out of caring for him as I would for any human being. There were many more violent nights and emotionally traumatic experiences of course, but I ultimately left when he told a whole bar full of people I strangled him (I did not touch him. His neck had been sore because I was making him sleep on a cot instead of in bed with me and this was my punishment for not letting him sleep with me).

      I am in week 7 of leaving him and blocking him on everything I can think of. I have been told by a therapist that I have cptsd from being with him, which is evident to me. Twice now I have had moments where maybe I hear a diesel truck, or a familiar song comes on, and I either am petrified and cant move for over an hour, or I try to do my chores and I just can’t focus or get anything done without going into trances or crying. But I will say… Aside from those two days I am happier than I have been in a long time, and I think often that if I were still pregnant with his child I would have run away and done everything in my power to make sure he did not think it was his child. I think it will be very tough for you as you obviously are now tied to him in a big way and will have a harder time shaking him legally whereas God gave me the opportunity to run while I could and start over. But I don’t think that is any reason for you to stay.

      Incase you were wondering what to expect after leaving… my narc ex slept with several girls within the first two days of my leaving (as I am told by my ex neighbors). This is when I blocked him so I didn’t have to hear any more. I doubt he misses me at all, but I know for sure that he will burn through women and never find happiness where as you and I will. And even more luckily for you, you will have a child to share in your happiness with you. It is not easy, and I am still waiting for my heart to heal so I can move forward, but it beats the hell out of being back there. I wouldn’t go back for anything.

      Like

      Reply
  4. James Peoples

    I’m having a hard time. My Narc is getting worse. I find myself more preoccupied with making sure I don’t do anything to upset him rather than making myself happy. I feel so depressed. He has become increasingly controlling to the point that he monitors my activity especially virtual activity. My phone mysteriously broke and I couldn’t really afford a new one and suddenly he wanted to do a new line plan. I had no choice. And I know I should want to leave but for some reason the thought of leaving is terrifying to me.

    Like

    Reply

Don't be shy, add your comments

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s