Support Forum

 

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To all new visitors! Welcome!!
You have found a great group of supportive people who have all been through what you are going through and understand completely the devastation you are feeling.
You are NOT crazy and you are not to blame, you are in a relationship or just left a relationship with a narcissist/psychopath. You are not alone. Come as often as you like to vent, ask questions, cry, and get support and encouragement.
All I ask is that everyone is respectful of each other’s opinions and understands that most everyone here are at a heightened emotional state. While with the narcissist the victim lived with constant trauma, drama and were told constantly that they were wrong to feel what they were feeling and that they were flawed in some way; it makes sense they are very sensitive to criticism. 
Opinions are just that, if someone has a different opinion than you it doesn’t mean someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong. Everyone is entitled to voice an opinion.
I may have an opinion you don’t agree with and I am more than willing to back up whatever I say, so feel free to question me and I will explain why I feel the way I do. Not to convince you I am right but to explain why I feel the way I do and maybe I will give you some information you didn’t know before. Or maybe you will enlighten me. An exchange of ideas is healthy and how we learn. 
Just remember, narcissists are basically all the same but the victims are as different as people can be, we all have our own history and frame of reference. Please respect that!
Hugs
Carrie
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7,802 Replies to “Support Forum”

  1. Thank you Carrie and a big thank you for all of your advice over the year. I have real admiration and great respect for you. All my best wishes Xxxxx

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  2. I am an only child of two narcissist parents (recently found out). I am a single mom of 4 kids which my parents help raise. I suspect my daughter is a narcissist so its very hard to heal. I need help and don’t how. I have no support system and I have 2year which father wants nothing to do with.

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    1. Lina, you are in an almost impossible situation. You don’t say but I am assuming you live with your parents if they are helping you raise your children. Also you don’t say whether your ex pays child support or if you work. I don’t know where you live either so don’t know what help is available in your area.
      It is hard to advise you without all the facts but I will do my best.
      To look at the whole situation is overwhelming I am sure, you have to deal with one thing at a time. I am going to just give you suggestions in point form.
      – first of all you have to do some research and find out what kind of support for victims of abuse is available in your area. Free counselling, cheap housing, education, legal aid. Etc
      – if your ex doesn’t pay child support speak to a lawyer aND get a judge to order him to pay
      – if you can’t afford to live on your own check into upgrading your education so you can get a job and move out on your own. Being reliant on them gives them too much power over you. It is impossible to heal from narcissistic abuse when you are living with them and controlled by them.
      – get your self and the kids into counselling with someone familiar with narcissists.
      – once you are able to move out on your own go no contact with any narcissist in your life.
      – It would be hard to know if your daughter is narcissistic or learning the behavior from those around her. We are all products of our environment and if your parents treat you like a hit and you allow it she probably has no respect for you. You are going to have to develop your self esteem, set boundaries, she will hate it and fight you on it (as will your parents because they are used to you being a doormat and they won’t like you saying “no” and standing up for yourself) but eventually she will respect you for it if you don’t back down.
      You cant change anyone but yourself. When you start standing up for yourself and become independent they lose their control and ability to manipulate and hurt you.
      We are here for moral support.
      Hugs
      Carrie

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