Support Forum

 

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To all new visitors! Welcome!!
You have found a great group of supportive people who have all been through what you are going through and understand completely the devastation you are feeling.
You are NOT crazy and you are not to blame, you are in a relationship or just left a relationship with a narcissist/psychopath. You are not alone. Come as often as you like to vent, ask questions, cry, and get support and encouragement.
All I ask is that everyone is respectful of each other’s opinions and understands that most everyone here are at a heightened emotional state. While with the narcissist the victim lived with constant trauma, drama and were told constantly that they were wrong to feel what they were feeling and that they were flawed in some way; it makes sense they are very sensitive to criticism. 
Opinions are just that, if someone has a different opinion than you it doesn’t mean someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong. Everyone is entitled to voice an opinion.
I may have an opinion you don’t agree with and I am more than willing to back up whatever I say, so feel free to question me and I will explain why I feel the way I do. Not to convince you I am right but to explain why I feel the way I do and maybe I will give you some information you didn’t know before. Or maybe you will enlighten me. An exchange of ideas is healthy and how we learn. 
Just remember, narcissists are basically all the same but the victims are as different as people can be, we all have our own history and frame of reference. Please respect that!
Hugs
Carrie
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8,687 Replies to “Support Forum”

  1. Thank you,Martina.Im sorry you went through bad times and you are so lucky to be free.It’s harder when you have kids from him i’m assuming. But I don’t know why my narc does this silence,no communication treatment.!He just uses me and wants to get rid of me till the next time.It’s hell being with a narc!!

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    1. Yes, it’s hell but you can change it. I used to make excuses …what will I do as a single mom with three kids..I need to save a family…maybe I deserve it so I need to be a better wife and so on.
      Once it was done with life for me and mostly my kids was so much better.No more stressed,unhappy mom.Btw I remember that silent treatment also,making you think like you are going nuts.
      I would even write letters to him while we were husband and wife living in the same house with our kids. Explaining how much I was hurting and why.Response?Calling me crazy and laughing about it.That very same day he would come home and wanted to have sex..like nothing happened.
      Save yourself.You will feel like you should.Happy woman .

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  2. I stumbled across this site today. I am so distraught. I am dating a man over 7 years now on and off and the slightest thing I say he ignores me for weeks sometimes months. It took a toll on my health. I struggle to break free from him and do not know why. I keep taking him back. As of yesterday I am again in the ignore zone. Because I told him to stop putting me down. I also told him stop seeing others behind my back as I saw him doing that. I also told him to stop taking so many selfies of himself I mean, he is 55 for crying out loud. I just needed to talk today as i am really lost today

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    1. Well this man wont change and he will keep doing this to you because you are available. You don’t need to put up with this. Try and make your self stronger and leave him. Don’t take him back. You have been with him on and off a long time now. Enough is enough.

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    2. Sera,
      I did it 10 years and I have met women who have done it 30 years, some women manage to break away after just a few years. You are not alone. There are literally millions of people out there, all over the world who are or have gone through exactly what you are going through now.
      There is one thing they all have in common, they don’t think they can leave and stay away. It’s like they are under some sort of spell the N cast on them. There are tons of reasons why the victim feels this way, and I have written many posts on why and how you can retrain your brain. Basically you have been brainwashed, (do a search for posts on brainwashing and retraining your brain, self improvement, self discovery, on this site). We have all asked the same questions, why does he keep coming back if he doesn’t love me? When will he stop hurting me?
      The answer is the same for both questions; because we keep letting him.
      It isn’t fair that we have to end our own abuse, but we do; he won’t stop until we cut him from our life. Totally!
      There are thousands of victims out there who have done it. First you have to figure out what you are dealing with and then you have to figure out how to break away. It’s all here. I suggest to you instead of calling him or checking for texts from him, pacing by the phone. Shut your phone off and educate yourself.
      Comment here if you have questions, someone usually answers.
      I am not around as much any more. I had to start living my life and was feeling like a broken record. I had to start thinking and talking about something other than narcissists. You know? They are actually pretty boring when you see how predictable and alike they all are.
      Read the comments and see how many women have gone through almost exactly what you have gone through.
      We all feel no one could possibly have hurt like we do, or loved as much as we do.
      We all felt helpless to stop it but we are the only ones who CAN stop it.
      You’ve invested 7 years, don’t make it 8.
      You have a happy life waiting for you. Believe me!!
      Hugs Carrie

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