Support Forum

 

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To all new visitors! Welcome!!
You have found a great group of supportive people who have all been through what you are going through and understand completely the devastation you are feeling.
You are NOT crazy and you are not to blame, you are in a relationship or just left a relationship with a narcissist/psychopath. You are not alone. Come as often as you like to vent, ask questions, cry, and get support and encouragement.
All I ask is that everyone is respectful of each other’s opinions and understands that most everyone here are at a heightened emotional state. While with the narcissist the victim lived with constant trauma, drama and were told constantly that they were wrong to feel what they were feeling and that they were flawed in some way; it makes sense they are very sensitive to criticism. 
Opinions are just that, if someone has a different opinion than you it doesn’t mean someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong. Everyone is entitled to voice an opinion.
I may have an opinion you don’t agree with and I am more than willing to back up whatever I say, so feel free to question me and I will explain why I feel the way I do. Not to convince you I am right but to explain why I feel the way I do and maybe I will give you some information you didn’t know before. Or maybe you will enlighten me. An exchange of ideas is healthy and how we learn. 
Just remember, narcissists are basically all the same but the victims are as different as people can be, we all have our own history and frame of reference. Please respect that!
Hugs
Carrie
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8,712 thoughts on “Support Forum

  1. It’s very hard to prove that it is my ex-N since they’re a huge group of people who destroy their victim’s life for fun. I’ve seen such groups but are not Narcissists but instead are a bunch of perverts who like porn and harassing women. They laugh about how they got pics of tons of women, so I can tell that my ex-N and his friends laugh about me and their victims.

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    1. Well, that is illegal. Nobody can post a picture of you without your knowledge.
      Especially if that picture might be incriminating. Laws are tough on that these days.Also, you mentioned graduating…are you a minor?

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  2. My family hacked my phone and laptop, my ex-N and his gang are smear campaigning me with people around here, my only solace is now gone which is my phone, I’m sheltered and lost all my friends thanks to my ex. I haven’t graduated yet and I don’t want to stay here. What should I do?

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    1. I would report it.That is cyber bullying and against the law. BTW, for authorities it is very easy and fast to find out who is responsible.

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  3. Just a question: Why would my Ex-N, who I have been no contact with since, April of 2018, parade his new girlfriend in front of me not once but twice in the same evening, in a setting in which he knew I would be at?
    Then exactly two weeks later texts me to ask for legal advice, saying, he ‘has no one else to ask for this type of help’.
    I did not respond and really do not wish to. However, I’m curious as to why he would do this.

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    1. Because Narc hardly ever goes away even when you tell him so. Asking you for legal advice is just cover up. If you were the one who left him to him it is as he lost and they hate to loose. There are exes you can still be friends with but not narcs.They will do anything to pull you back in to their web of lies and deceits so they can feel better about themselves.
      Example.I do not communicate with my ex at all and our kids,now young adults do not either.Not that long ago he sent kids email telling them he has cancer and has not much time to live.Next day another email,telling them how heartless they are for not responding. Next day another one saying false alarm but he really did think he has it.Total craziness.

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  4. Has anyone been copied from what you wear, how you speak and to what words you use in real life? Because it’s been happening to me lately and I want to know if anyone has experienced it.

    From what I know, narcissists do these to disturb you and send you into a overthinking loop, and it may seem innocuous to others, but not so much to the victim who clearly knows how they talk, move and write. It makes the victims nervous and send their minds to the fog.

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  5. Also has anyone experiences being stalked by a narcissistic cult or a group? Because lately I’ve been being followed and would see odd things that’s being done when I’m around or when I walk pass them. Sometimes they would even say the things that I’m doing to throw me off. I would also have people stare at me as if I’m disgusting and I know what happened: my ex-narcissist’s “friends” (which consists of enablers, non-narcissists that became narcissists, they’re like some sort of cult and narcissists themselves) would go around dropping news and hints about how a certain someone who, a coincidence, looked like me and moved like me, did something bad or is a bad person and people would think I’m a bad person and would treat me unfairly. They do it in a indirect way and sometimes all they have to do is to drop a few but very effective words (sometimes it’s just 5 words or less, sometimes spoken in a hasty manner so as to confuse the listener but the listener will have no choice but to listen). How did I know? Because I was one of those people that believed the lies my ex-narcissist would say to me. They did it in a way that would make people behave that would mistreat me and make people do the right thing thinking they’re serving justice when in fact they were deceived. People would tell me that the people who believe the lies are not your friends and don’t seek your side of the story and someday, someone will realize the truth but I disagree. The reason why they don’t seek out your side of the story is that what the narcissist said was so convincing and left a mark on someone’s emotions that the person can’t help but act disdainfully towards the victim. How do I know? Because I was one of those people and it took me years to realize that my ex-narcissist was lying to me the whole time. Based on my experience, some people will always believe because those narcissists really know how to word things in a way that will convince them easily without even any evidence. Even some skeptics get fooled by their cunning way of convincing someone. It’s very rare for a certain someone to get skeptical and not believe and even if they do, the narcissists, based on my experiences with my ex, will try to convince them until they believe them. My ex’s friends won’t stop smear campaigning me and won’t stop following me, I even had three of them follow me but they’re trying not to look obvious but to me, they failed. One stopped by where I was standing and pretended to fiddle with their phone and would try to take a picture of me while simultaneously moving in a sudden movement and two just got off the bus and were trying not to look at me but their wide and watchful eyes and their odd movement showed me that they were one of them.

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  6. We are both 70 years old and don’t live together.I go to his house about three times a week.We are together 4 years.He does not want a boyfriend girlfriend relationship.No one would believe how he treats me with his rules and coldness and silence,no communication.His rules are i go to his house,sex and i can’t talk before sex and after he gets angry if i ask him any questions and he won’t answer me most of the time,which makes me angry and hurt,He tells me i am just an object to him, to use for sex.Why does he act this way? What hurts me is that he had a wife years ago and i am sure acted some what normal and he talks to his workers on the phone decently,so why does he treat me so cold,distant,aloof,no communication,just his house,sex and then back home i go.He doesn’t kiss or hug me,no affection of course,just silence.Why does he act this way with me?

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    1. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.He does what you allow him to do.
      You deserve better and deep down you know it.Don’t hope that he will change.Normal, healthy person would never treat a person this way to begin with.

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    2. Jane, I have to ask why you insist on subjecting yourself to this abuse and disrespect.
      He has made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship and yet you continue to go over there and live by his rules, have sex and leave until he wants sex again. What are you getting out of this relationship?
      You keep asking why he treats you so badly when he treats everyone else better. Probably because you allow it.
      After I split with my ex I was crying on here about “Why does he keep hurting me??!!!”
      Someone answered, “Because you keep letting him.”
      THAT stung!! I was offended!how dare they! I didn’t ask to be abused!
      Well, yeah, actually I did! By taking his calls, seeing him, and keeping him in my life in any form. He had abused me for 10 years, it had progressively gotten worse, not better. Why was I subjecting myself to this abuse?
      He even said to me, “It’s your own fault I hurt you. You kept taking me back.”
      You have to look within, put on your big girl panties and say, ” I deserve better” walk away, go no contact, and respect yourself.
      If you feel you need a man that bad in order to be happy, then at least dump the toxic asshole so you can attract a decent man. You won’t ever meet a nice guy if you are with the asshole.
      How many years do you have left to live? I know at 60, the years become more valuable to me every year. I sure the hell don’t want to waste my time on anyone who doesn’t enhance my life. That’s why I remain single. Life is to precious to waste a second catering to someone else’s moods and whims.
      Who cares how he treated his wife, maybe her life was hell, he treats YOU like dirt. That says alot about him not your value. The only thing it says about you is that you don’t value yourself and think that is all you deserve.
      What a shame.

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  7. Thank you ,Martina for your answer. Everything you said is true. I just wished I was strong enough to leave him. I don’t know why I stay with him.

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    1. I think you stay with him because you hope he will “change” and become the person you truly need.You can’t change a person.
      My ex narc and a father to my three children never changed until this day and I know never will.
      It took me a long time to let go and figure out it is up to me.
      He treated me like trash,yet I was hoping he will change or maybe if I do things “better” he will notice. When I met him he was so nice, so maybe it was my fault he changed.WRONG.
      Again, please for yourself get the strenght to say enough.Remember you live only once.
      I can’t tell you how great it feels to be away from any negative, bad everything.

      Like

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