Tag Archives: Charity

Acts of charity giving and receiving

How Do I Apply For Refugee Status?

I wrote my Ombudsman the other day, for the 3rd time in the past year; to ask how I go about applying for refugee status.

Am I being factitious? of course, Canada is where people come to escape persecution and have a better life. Canada and the USA are made up of generations of people who dreamed of a better life, freedom of speech, and protection from racism, persecution and suffering.  And if you are a refugee coming to Canada that is what you will get, but not if you are a born and raised Canadian.

I was born in New Westminster, 57 years ago, always lived in Canada, worked from the time I was 13 and have paid my taxes unemployment insurance, and into the Canada Pension Plan my whole life. I have been a business owner and a home owner, contributing to the economy of Canada my whole life. I have been  charitable law abiding citizen of Canada, never once packing a bomb or gun or uttering any threats against my country or my fellow Canadians. I have successfully helped several immigrants fill out their applications for citizenship and to bring loved ones to Canada. We have lots of land up here, room for thousands and I am not greedy, I have been known to go home and take 1/2 of everything in my cupboards box it up and give it to someone without food. On several occasions I took the family grocery shopping at Christmas with two shopping carts and everything we bought, the same was put in the other cart to be donated to a family in need. Not the typical mac and cheese, or long noodle soup people donate, but the good stuff, chips, nuts, cranberry sauce, cheeses, crackers, all the things we look forward to pigging out on through the Christmas holidays. I am not a selfish person and I don’t give two shits about being recognized for my efforts, that is not why I did it. I did it because I hate to see people do without, I can’t enjoy my good fortune when I know there are people out there going without, especially young children. I have literally given the coat off my back to a young child without a warm coat.

I will say Happy Holidays if Merry Christmas offends you, or Happy Hanukkah, and I won’t be offended if you don’t worship God as I see him/her and I will try your traditions, respect your beliefs, and I love to try different foods from different countries.

I respect your right to not say the Lord’s Prayer in school, and I respect your right to wear your traditional head gear or Burgha.

My irritation comes from losing MY right to say the Lord’s Prayer in school, MY right to wish people Merry Christmas, and MY rights to a roof over my head, food on my table and protection from those people who mean to do me harm.

If I was able to get refugee status I would qualify for full medical and dental coverage, I would be guaranteed a roof over my head, an education, food, and protection from the narcissistic people who threaten my existence.

I am all for helping the persecuted and the hungry masses, no one should get away with murdering innocent women and children, any where! not in Syria, not in Canada, but I DO feel charity should begin at home.

And THAT my friends is the thorn in MY side right now, and that does not even touch on the fact that Yes we are all immigrants in some way, it is a totally different scenario now than generations ago.

A Little Update

I haven’t been posting much lately, I have been in a bit of a slump to be honest. I guess it’s the Christmas blues. I should be used to it and I don’t know why it is hitting me this hard this year. Well, yes I do know why.

I can’t say too much because it has to do with my son’s life and I have no right to talk about what goes on in his life.

Plus I had hoped I would see my grand daughter this Christmas but I do totally understand that it is not so easy, her and her mom live on the other side of a HUGE mountain pass that will be covered in snow from now until late spring and it is dangerous to drive it, if you don’t have to, most people won’t. I did last year and it was the drive from hell and that was in February, so I certainly don’t expect them to make the drive. I let myself get carried away planning how great it would be to have them here and see her open her gifts etc.

My son has decided to move there to be closer to his daughter, again, totally understandable, but that means I am alone again this Christmas. I have done it so many times and i always get through, after all it is just another day. I used to love Christmas and still decorate the whole house but I just don’t have that festive spirit. It’s not that I miss the wospos, at least I know there is no one purposely planning on destroying my Christmas, it is circumstances  not a plot against me that I am going to be alone. There was not one Christmas with the wospos that was pleasurable, I always decorated but there was never any gifts, no company, no big dinner, no snuggling by the fire and basking in the glow of our love. (gag)

I had planned on decorating his boat all Christmasy, I get Christmas lights in scrap from one of my pick ups and sometimes they work. I have been putting the working ones aside and had enough to do a really excellent job decorating his boat so when they got there it would be this beautiful glow of Christmas cheer. I was going to put a little phoney Christmas tree in it and I had already cleaned it and hauled all the dirty bedding out and washed it, all the towels etc, so everything was going to be fresh and clean (my son let some guys use it just before he left and they left it a disaster). My girlfriend gave me a beautiful goose down duvet and I washed it and I bought a new cover for it on sale. I also got a really good deal on some nice crisp white sheets. (I have been picking things up for months in preparation for this) I found some toss cushions that were like new at the thrift store. Where Kaela sleeps on the boat is kinda yucky, so I had some light green chiffon material I was going to make a canopy like thing, I have some paint and other dodads I was going to use to make her a little princess castle with a little ladder to get up to it. I had been picking crayons and colouring books etc for a little toy corner for her. Now he is not keeping the boat so there is no point in doing all that to it.

I was really  excited about doing it because I thought it would be such a new surprise for them to come back to the boat and it has been transformed, it wasn’t costing me much; it was all my labour and imagination. Now that I can’t do that I have nothing to give him. His birthday is Dec 20, and I thought the boat would be his birthday present,  I can’t even give him the sheets because they are for a double bed and he doesn’t have a double.

Then you all know about the rat, I haven’t seen another one but I am paranoid now and Stella drives me insane because she is paranoid also. The other day she was going nuts by the back door and the closet beside the door, sniffing around and barking, running to me for protection. I thought for sure there must be another rat but I finally figured out it was my mukluk that has a fur trim that was freaking her out. haha silly girl

THEN we have had so much rain, the lake flooded and was right up to my back door, and then a cold snap hit and the lake froze making a skating rink out of my road and my pipes froze. I went 3 days without water but finally got them thawed the other day. I put a work light under the house near the pipes and they thawed but I can’t leave it on because then if I plug anything in, in the house it blows the breaker. So it is a juggling act of only one heater going in the house but if I cook I have to turn the electric fireplace off because it will blow the breaker. I know there is something wrong with my wiring for it to blow like that but the owner won’t have it looked at and I can’t afford to have an electrician come.

I broke a tooth a couple of days ago and I have to get it fixed, it is right in front and I hate the dentist. I just hope they can fix it and don’t have to pull it.

And the bills keep piling up. I was all caught up a couple of months ago but I have on outstanding hydro bill of over $100, the phone company is threatening to cut me off again, I have a speeding ticket from a couple of years ago that I had until Dec 1 to pay and I haven’t so I don’t know what happens if I get pulled over, I hope I don’t get arrested. Shessh

I usually make some extra money by painting things and selling them but this year I was working on my funding package because I felt that was more important but now I don’t have stuff to sell.

The woman who I handed my funding package to just laughed when she saw it, she said she has never had anyone hand in a more organized and complete package. She kept laughing as she flipped through it, shaking her head and saying, “You did my job for me.” I guess I am a bit anal, but I want it to get accepted so badly and didn’t want any reason for them to turn me down or postpone approving it. I just pray it goes through, I can’t think of any reason why it wouldn’t but we are dealing with the government here. It doesn’t pay me a lot more living expenses but it gives me an education and almost doubles what they allot me to live on which would be a livable amount.

Anyway, I have been busy trying to thaw pipes, kill rats and just been a bit depressed to be honest. Tired of struggling, missing my son and granddaughter, uncertain about my future, trying to think positive.

I’ll survive, it is just the way life is sometimes.

If by chance anyone can help me get through to January I would really appreciate it. I hate to ask, I really hate to ask but with any luck it will be the last time I have to ask and I will start my new year in school.

Chump Lady Reaches Out To Help The Orphans Of Sudan


Some of you may have discovered the Chump Lady site. I have been following Tracy’s blog for some time now and really enjoy her straight from the hip approach to advising people what to do when their spouse has cheated. As most of us bloggers who blog about relationship issues, she writes from experience and does it with cutting sarcasm and no nonsense advice. Although she doesn’t talk about Narcissists per say, from the content of the letters she gets I am willing to bet money I don’t have that 90% of the people who arrive at her blog were involved with an N.

She too has one very important bit of advice – No Contact!! You might want to check her out if you need a kick in the butt and are filled with indecision about whether you should kick your guy to the curb or not and if you are thinking maybe you could have do more, or done it differently and if he has changed for the new woman.

Or maybe you are just down today consumed with your problems, sometimes helping someone less fortunate helps to take our minds off our own problems if you are feeling generous check out this post today from Chump Lady. This is a cause especially close to my heart.

As many of you know my ex went to Sudan as a volunteer to help start up farms for the people who are trying to survive in a place I can only describe as hell on earth. I thought it was the most unselfish thing he had ever done and even though we were split at the time I chose to support his efforts and see if he carried through. If he did it would prove that he had changed and I would give him another chance.


It took months for him to get ready to leave, he had to fill containers with tools, farm implements and food, get his shots, passport, and then it was too dangerous and Canada had advised Canadian not go to Sudan. All the while he stayed with me pissing off my landlady because he had the containers in the driveway, was making noise at all hours and the usual stuff he did to make people angry. I defended him because he was doing it for such a worthy cause. Finally I drove him to the airport with a love card tucked in his suitcase for him to find when he unpacked; we had our teary goodbye, said I love you and off he went.

He wasn’t gone long before he came back to order supplies and put a couple of containers together of much needed supplies. I was horrified by his stories of life in Sudan, how the people are trying to farm with broken rakes and sticks, the filled to overflowing orphanages, so I started collecting stuff to add to his shipment. I did a farm cleanup and contributed dozens of farming implements, rakes, shovels, hoes, picks, and I cruised thrift stores and bought clothes and toys for the orphanage.

Long story short, He picked a fight with me and disappeared, changed his phone number and just never came home. I received a call from the head of the charitable organization he was volunteering with, he was calling in a panic because he had sent my ex a cheque for equipment for over $20,000 and not heard a word from him and his phone was no longer in service. I figured I knew who would know his new number and told the guy I would get back to him. I called the friend of his I knew would have the new number and told some bullshit story and he gave me the number. I called the head of the charity back and gave him the new number. Guess who showed up at my door a day later. It was all a misunderstanding dontcha know.

He went back to Sudan and ended up getting run out of the country. You can read about it here on my post from 2012 titled Out of Africa

Anyway, that is why I have an emotional connection to Sudan and the orphan’s of Sudan. If you are feeling generous today head over to Chump Lady.