Tag Archives: chat room

Putting the Pieces Of Me Back Together

I just posted this on No Reim’er Reason, to read the whole post all you have to do is join the new interactive blog No Reim’er Reason for a mere $15 for a life time membership.

For those of you who have already joined the site, we have over 20 members now, remember to click on the Follow Button in the sidebar so you get notified of new posts and comments.

I changed the format of the blog because the chat feature was just not working. Now the blog is interactive like a chat room, hopefully it will be sufficient  if not, I will keep searching until I find the answer. This format is supposed to work just like a chat room, so here’s hoping.

I have been there every day at 11, but only one person showed up so far. If the time is not convenient for you please let me know and we will try to work out a time that works for most people. This is our blog, not mine, so I want your input.

Putting The Puzzle Back Together,

puzzle heart

After James and I split I literally felt as if I was in a million pieces, I didn’t even know who I was any more and nothing felt natural to me. It was a bizarre feeling, scary, I stuttered and stammered when I went out in public, I would have thoughts in my head, logical and intelligent conversation but somehow by the time it got to my mouth I couldn’t put an intelligent sentence together, I forgot words, forgot what I was going to say; I felt like a fool. I had always been very outspoken and able to get my point across, what was wrong with me? If I tried to be funny my humor fell flat, I had always been able to come back with a witty one liner if a guy hit on me and now I could not flirt to save my life; all things that had been second nature to me prior. I had been an excellent cook and now I burned toast, I had been a obsessive house cleaner and now my place was a pig sty, I didn’t know what I wanted to eat, even in a restaurant I couldn’t make up my mind. At home I ate microwave dinners, just because I knew I had to eat and it saved me having to think if what to cook. AND to top it all off all I could talk about was James, because he was always in my mind, over shadowing everything I did.

I didn’t know how to have casual chit chat, I felt out of touch with the world, like I had been gone from civilization for years and just come back and everyone had left me behind. I had nothing in my life that could relate to what my old friends were doing now.

Who was I? and how on earth was I ever going to function in this world that seemed so foreign to me after James? I had always had being the Lady Witha Truck to fall back on as my identity, but he had stripped me of that before discarding me, so I was lost, who was Carrie is she wasn’t someone’s partner and she didn’t have a job, what defined me?