Tag Archives: Courage

The Cure For Narcissism Found Right Here In BC!

cure

They found a cure for narcissism?? really?? Well, actually…………………

No, …..that is a lie, ………………………….. but it IS what the WOSPOS (waste of skin piece of shit) wants everyone to believe. In fact he would have you believe that I cause a man to have traits similar to narcissism because I am a crazy psycho bitch that drove him to act the way he did. I am the Eboli carrier of narcissism.

But thank God for his new woman, because she had the cure and his whole life has changed. and well………………..

That’s a lie too.

But whether it is a lie or not is of little consequence as long as you don’t say it is a lie and as long as you don’t expose the lie, then it becomes the truth. According to the WOSPOS she is, well………I’ll just come right out and say it…….the woman is up for sainthood, right up there with Mother Teresa. But that makes sense because you would have to have a direct line to God to cure a narcissist.

I am not sure if they realize the gold mine they are sitting on. she could write a book, teach seminars, Dr Hare and Sam Vaknin, I am sure would want to talk to her. My God, she could be on Oprah!! Jerry Springer!! She could even get a wax statue in Ripley’s Believe It or Not!

I mean THIS IS BIG!!

As for me, I should be shot for driving a kind loving man to act so despicable, I hang my head in shame and beg for James forgiveness. That is a lie too.

I am just relieved to know that he was not permanently scarred by my warped view of reality.  (Lie)

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Excellent Article On “Why Didn’t You Just Leave?”

With all the publicity lately surrounding Ray Rice and Oscar Pistorius the topic of Domestic Violence has been brought to the forefront in the news; and the injustice we see happening when it comes to the abuser paying for his crimes of abuse. The obvious disregard for the rights of the victim is unbelievable and discouraging; it is almost enough to make a victim feel that there is no point in even trying to seek justice and she should quietly hide in a corner and pray he leaves her alone and doesn’t harm her any more.

To speak out can put the victim directly in harm’s way because the abuser never wants to be revealed for the person he really is, whether he is a football player or a mechanic at the local garage. There are two things a narcissist hates more than you, being opposed and being exposed.

But there is only one way to end domestic abuse and that is to keep speaking out, louder than ever, voices from all corners of the world united in a chorus of the truth exposing these toxic soul crushers for what they are; the more voices the louder it gets and sooner or later someone has to pay attention.

Society is starting to grumble, with Pistorius and Rice, people are realizing something is terribly wrong with our judicial system, that if a man that famous will do something like that then maybe there is more to this than just weak women who like to be slapped around.

Now, more than ever we have to ride the momentum and shout it out, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I hope we all are out there raising awareness any way we can.

I know some women (and men) don’t feel comfortable speaking out, or maybe they are just too afraid of their ex; i don’t want anyone to do anything that might jeopardize their safety, but there are ways you can speak out anonymously, put posters up raising awareness, post anonymously on the internet and  if you are in an abusive relationship take the steps you can to get out before it is too late.

Please do not excuse the abuse any more, don’t make excuses for him, stop dreaming about the day he morphs back into the man you fell in love with, it isn’t going to happen. Be prepared, admit, if only to yourself; that you are in danger and take notes, tell someone you trust, start journaling, and building your evidence against him; at least if he kills you there is a chance he will pay for his crimes.

The following Huffington Post article is something we should all pass along to as many people as we can, it is sobering and needs to be heard by society worldwide. Please share these true stories of abuse and why these women didn’t “just Leave” here is the link

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/12/why-didnt-you-just-leave_n_5805134.html?ir=Crime

Sorry for the screw up on the original post. I don’t know what happened.

Just In Case You Were Feeling Sorry For Yourself Today

I watched this video today and felt foolish for how I reacted when James and I split. I don’t mean to diminish your pain or mine for that matter. Yes we hurt and we had/have every right to hurt, to be angry, and to complain about how unfair life can be. 

But when you watch this beautiful young woman speak, the way her eyes light up, her inner beauty and listen to her attitude about the challenges she has faced, you see what true strength is and realize life isn’t fair. The good guy gets shit on once in a while, for no reason, we can let it eat us up and wear our pain like a badge or we can dust ourselves off and get on with living. I don’t mean you have to pretend you aren’t hurting or “just get over it”, everyone is entitled to how ever long it takes to heal. You have been through hell and back and you deserve your healing time.

What I am talking about is; not letting it define you, knowing that you will heal and your life will go on and it will be up to you how you live the rest of your life. 

Personally, I don’t want to forget James or the hell I went through, I don’t want to dwell in victimhood, I want to be a glowing example of someone who over came obstacles and went on to live a happy productive life. I took 3 years to heal and I don’t deny you your 3 years. I just ask that every day you find one thing to be thankful for and for you to believe you will have your time in the sun and to be happy and loved, especially if you can view your experience as a life lesson that made you a better person, and you take your new knowledge and go out into the world more aware and willing to use your experiences to help others who come behind you.

You don’t have to have a soap box, blog or hold fund raisers for domestic abuse awareness, all you have to do is; when given the opportunity to speak out at the lunch table when people are judging victims, or when you see a woman being abused you reach out to her, or you enlighten some one. You will have the opportunity to change someone’s life if you look for it.

Shake off the shame and embarrassment of having been abused, stand proud and speak your truth, you are no longer a victim, you are a survivor and you are alive and as long as you are alive you can change the world, your world and the world of people you meet day to day.

I think back to the time when I wanted to take my own life, how ridiculous of me, how selfish of me. But I saw no hope, no chance of my life ever being worth living. I let the fear that James was right take hold and it almost won, isn’t that what the devil wants? to rid the world of the kind and caring people? 

I am not trying to blow my own horn because there was nothing intentional about my actions, I started the blog for totally selfish reasons. I was desperately reaching out to the infinite internet for someone who would give me a reason to live and I found it coming to me from all corners of the world. I can’t tell you how many people have been helped by that act of desperation. I don’t know exactly when it switched from me needing to me giving; but it is all the same thing really. Every time I help someone I heal a little bit myself because every time I hear “you have really helped me” I have another answer for the question, “Why me?”

This young woman died two weeks after giving this Tedx talk. Watching it made me even more determined to live my life to the fullest and be the best I can be with whatever time I have and even more determined to not let the likes of someone like James steal any more of my precious time/life.

A Little Bit Of Inspiration – Your God Given Right

Never give up, no matter what anyone says, no matter what lies you have been told by others or lies you have told yourself. You are awesome

The Science of Happiness

How can you tell it is the first rainy day in about a month? Carrie has watched a bunch of inspirational videos and is passing them along to you! Soul Pancake has become one of my favorite video makers. What they say usually makes a lot of sense. 

They say that the secret to happiness is gratitude and I have found that to be true in my life. I have been down at times and thought, “What the hell do I have to be thankful for?” But there is always something. I have not exactly been on a the fast track to success lately or jumping with joy. Many of the things I thought would bring me happiness have eluded me. Like the post I did this morning about Gillian Bennett, the woman who chose to take her own life instead of slowly die with Dementia and had her husband of 57 years there holding her hand. I will never get to experience that kind of love, not 57 years of it any way and that kinda makes me sad. The longest relationship I’ve had was 10 years and it was abusive. If I were to dwell on it I could make myself quite sad and depressed over it but I don’t dwell on it; it is a fact in my life. One aspect of my life.

I have a son who I am immensely proud of, who loves his momma and called me this weekend to see what I thought of a decision he was making. I doubt my opinion would have changed his mind one way or the other but he needed verification he wasn’t “F’n crazy” (to quote him) and I told him he was asking the wrong person. How does crazy know what crazy looks like, I thought it was a great idea to buy a 40′ yacht and live on board in False Creek Vancouver. I say if you got the means and you’ve got the desire you do what makes you happy and personally I love the ocean and what better place to live? What better place for me to visit? I thank God for my son every single day. 

Every morning I have gratitude for where I live and it didn’t sell this summer so that gives me another winter in the cabin and another year to figure out a way to buy it. But it didn’t sell because it is over priced and there are nicer, cheaper ones in here for sale so who knows, maybe it is not supposed to be this one. I have faith that what is meant to happen will happen when it is time for it to happen. 

I have gone months living on $610 a month, an impossibility; but I have made it through by painting things, selling some things and the odd donation. Almost daily I wonder how I will make it through but somehow I do and for that I am filled with gratitude.

In this video they ask the people who had the most influential person has been in their life. I thought of my son but you know who the most influential person has been, who had the most positive effect on my life; James. Not that it was his intention to be a positive anything in my life, not that he encouraged me to be the best I could be or gave me an example of the kind of person I want to be. But he was the person who made me look at myself honestly. He stripped me down to nothing and I had to put myself back together and ultimately it was the most transforming experience, the biggest growth experience and the greatest learning experience I have ever had. It set me on a totally different life course, took me to a place where my natural abilities and passion to help others are utilized and helping others. It’s really hard to be thankful for that kind of hurt but I am glad I am where I am and I don’t know how I would have gotten here any other way.

In the video they have to call the person they have gratitude for but have no fear I will not be calling James to thank him because like I said it’s not like he did it for my benefit, it was just a lucky byproduct of him trying to destroy me. It could have gone the other way, the way he planned it go to; me dying either by his hand or mine. But none the less, he was the catalyst that brought me here.

Check out the video here

Controversial Topic – Dying With Dignity and Love

 

sunsetRuin

 

I never knew Gillian Bennett, but I have cried buckets the past two weeks thinking about her life and mostly her death and the love that surrounded her death.

I don’t feel sorry for her or her family, don’t get me wrong; I am sorry for their loss but I admire and, yes, envy what she had. 

For those of you who don’t know who Gillian Bennett is, she chose to take her own life after being diagnosed with Dementia. 

You can read her story at http://www.deadatnoon.com

i am sorry for anyone that gets Dementia, I watched both my grandmothers slowly slip away mentally, it is a painful process for the person afflicted but even more so for the family that loves them. Gillian did not want her family to go through that; she wanted to die with dignity and her family loved her enough to respect and honor her wishes. 

I am not saying everyone with Dementia should kill themselves, I am saying I can totally understand why she did it and I agree with her decision. I listened today to CBC radio interview her son and husband of 57 years. The love in their voices is so evident. I have sobbed every time I listen to them being interviewed or read their story and to be honest I don’t know if I am crying for their loss or because I am feeling sorry for myself.

Isn’t THAT insane? to envy a woman who chose to kill herself because she had dementia? 

When I read about her life, (she wrote a 4 page letter that her son posted after her death at her request) I can’t help but admire the life she led. She raised two children who love her dearly, was married 57 years to a man she loved dearly and who loved her just as much. They lived in various countries and retired to Bowen Island off the coast of Vancouver in 1996. She was a stay at home mom who went back to school to become a psychologist because she wanted to have a career to sustain her in case her husband died before her. 

When the time came she called her two children and asked them to come for the weekend because on Monday she would be dead by noon. This didn’t come as a surprise to her children because she had discussed it often throughout the years, she had made it very clear she did not want to be a burden to anyone or to slowly become incapacitated. She had no fear of dying but to be a shell of the person she once was did scare her.

Her children came to their parents home on Bowen and spent the weekend walking and talking, saying their final goodbyes knowing the next day their mom would die. On the Monday she woke up with her husband, they had their usual breakfast and went for a walk to her favorite cliff and then they went back to the house and she dragged a foam mattress out to the place she had chosen to die. (she didn’t want her husband to help because she didn’t want him to assist her in anyway)

She had a mild whiskey that she drank after taking whatever the barbiturate was that would kill her; her husband held her hand and she went to sleep. Within 3 minutes she was asleep and within 1/2 an hour there was no sign of life. 

I think about the love her and her husband shared, how hard it must have been for him but he loved her enough to be there and hold her hand, to help her die the way she wanted to die. They had 57 years of love and raised a family together with mutual respect and love. 

That is what love is all about.

By contrast, what James and I had was a pitiful joke. He encouraged me to kill myself and left me to  die alone, and had I not been as good a driver as I was he would have been responsible for my death. When I look back I am embarrassed that I ever considered what he and I had to be love. Not everyone has a love like Gillian and her husband, but to me it is the ultimate, it is what every couple should aspire to.

An excerpt from the CBC article and Gillian’s blog:

“Bennett told her family of her plans but did not allow them to take part. It is a crime in Canada to assist in a suicide.

In her final hours, she wouldn’t allow her husband to drag a mattress to the spot she had chosen to die, worried even that could cause him trouble.

“That pretty much broke his heart, that he couldn’t help her with that. She was pretty frail herself,” Fox said. (Gillian’s daughter)

In her letter, Bennett lamented the law.

“This is all much tougher than it need be on Jonathan, and I wish he did not have to be alone with his wife’s corpse,” she wrote.

“Today, now, I go cheerfully and so thankfully into that good night. Jonathan, the courageous, the faithful, the true and the gentle, surrounds me with company. I need no more.”

“Each of us is born uniquely and dies uniquely. I think of dying as a final adventure with a predictably abrupt end. I know when it’s time to leave and I do not find it scary.”

Gillian Bennett

Quotes For Change

Moral cowardice that keeps us from speaking our minds is as dangerous as irresponsible talk.
The right way is not always the popular and easy way.
Standing for right when it is unpopular is a true test of moral character.

Margaret Chase Smith

From the cowardice that shrinks from new truth, from the laziness that is content with half-truths, deliver us.

Ancient Prayer

The ability to pursue a course,
Whether it is a popular one or not, is measured in courage.
The greater the courage, the greater the possibility we will act for change.

Mildred Pitts Walter
From “The Horn Book”