Tag Archives: easter

Easter – A Time Of Rebirth, Renewal and New Life

easter

We are all at different stages, some of us are still with the narcissist and waffling between leaving and staying; (probably today you are thinking about leaving because the N has done something to destroy another special occasion.) Some of us have just left and are imagining our ex having a wonderful Easter with his new “soul mate” and her children and wondering if maybe you did drive him to be abusive. (believe me history will repeat itself) Still others are lonely, bitter, full of regret for the years they “wasted” with the N and some are happy to be free of the drama and enjoying their peace and serenity.

My birthday is April 5th so this time of year is always a time of reflection and putting the past behind me and looking forward to a new fresh start, new beginnings. You too could make it a time of new beginnings and rebirth.

If you believe in the Bible and God, this is the time of rebirth, a time of celebration.

No matter what though it is a magical time of year, everything is coming back to life after the long winter, trees are budding, crocuses are breaking through the soil, daffodils and tulips are blooming,

Envision baby chicks, bunnies and little lambs cavorting in a field of tulips; you have to smile.

lamb,chicks

No matter what is going on in your life, take a few minutes to walk around your neighborhood, breath deep and enjoy the life all around you, stop and enjoy a garden of tulips or buy yourself a bouquet of spring flowers.

When you live with a narcissist you don’t realize how clouded your life becomes, it happens so subtly. You have had the black cloud of narcissism hanging over your life; you may not have recognized it at the time but if you have been away from the narcissist any amount of time you know what I am talking about.

Narcissists are so evil that the black cloud of narcissism hangs over everything they touch and do and everyone close to them, it becomes part of the victims existence and life. Victims get so accustomed to never feeling joy over anything, they stop expecting to feel joy, forget how to feel joy and happiness; always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

You have to actively seek out joy, you have to get out of your own head and your misery and open your eyes so you can see all the beauty around you. You have to remove the narcissist from your life in order to see the sunshine again. For even 5 minutes at a time stop thinking about the narcissist and all the pain and you lost and be thankful you will feel joy again, you can find happiness again. He will never know true happiness, he will always be evil and have to manipulate people to love him. There is no rebirth for the narcissist, no growth, no sunshine, no forgiveness, no joy.

wolf maskRemember that the narcissist is not the helpless little sheep, he is the wolf in sheep’s clothing. He is not innocent, and not looking out for your best interest, he is looking out only for himself and he has no loyalty to you whatsoever!

Have a wonderful Easter and a spring of rebirth and new healthy growth!

Happy Easter

easter bunnyeaster

Here we are, another holiday that we envision the ex is having a wonderful time with his/her new partner, and THIS year he might be pretending to be the sweet generous guy you met, just like he pretended to be that sweetheart with you, he is going to do it with her. 

If you are torturing yourself thinking about how he is treating her so much better than you, then don’t forget to tell yourself the whole story, don’t forget the part where out of the blue he jumps down her throat about something stupid. Don’t forget when Christmas comes and there are no presents under the tree for her, don’t forget to think about how she is going to be so shocked and confused the first time he flies into a rage over some perceived slight, don’t forget to envision her cooking a nice family dinner and he doesn’t show up. 

You do have power over what you think about. Thoughts of him/her may creep in but as soon as they do, change how you think about him, it is fine to think about him, it is normal to worry that with her he is different, but it is not reality; you have to fight the lies and tell yourself the truth. Our minds can be our worst enemy, making us doubt ourselves and beat ourselves up, we are not always honest with ourselves so when we start telling ourselves lies we have to argue with our brain. It takes works, we have to be diligent, it’s easy to slip into a pity party, “She’s getting everything I wanted and never got”. Even if she was, it does you no good to think about; you are only torturing yourself BUT I’ll tell you a little secret the narcissist doesn’t want you to know.

Ready?? It is impossible for someone to change over night. No one can change over night and think about it; what did you do to make him turn so nasty just to you. It must have been something really really horrible for them to treat you with such loathing! Even then, if it was THAT bad why didn’t they just leave you? They went and found your replacement first? Normal healthy people don’t do that, normal healthy people need time to recoup after a love relationship ends, they can’t fall madly in love with someone else within a week or two. 

The narcissist is make believe, just like the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. The only way he could change over night is if his Fairy Godmother twanged him in the middle of the night and I hear there is no such thing as a Fairy Godmother, just like there is no such thing as a narcissist with a heart. Unless he has met Dorothy, the Lion and Toto and he wears a suit of armor and goes by the name of Tin Man and they are hopping up the yellow brick road with the Easter Bunny looking for a Wizard so they can get the Tin Man a heart. 

The new woman will believe she is Dorothy for a while, she will believe the fantasy just like you did. She will happily hippity hop down the yellow brick road with the Tin Man believing she can buy or beg him a heart but she will eventually end up just like you. 

So this Easter, and tomorrow and the day after, keep reminding yourself that he was a fantasy and never will be any more real than Easter Bunny. 

I wrote this post at Christmas this year but it fits for Easter too.

An Easter Message From My Inner Chick

My blogging friend Kim, from My Inner Chick once again touched my heart with her post and I wanted to share it with you all.

We all have waffled on whether we should leave or not, left and gone back, and we all thought, “He would never do anything to “really” hurt me. He would never kill me. “I am just being paranoid”, “he’s a cheater, not a murderer”, “sure he’s jealous but he would never kill me”. “I go back because he threatens to kill himself, he would never hurt me.”, “I am just going to see what he has to say,” Whatever lie you tell yourself to stifle that gnawing in your stomach that is telling you to stay away, you are in danger.

That is your natural instinct telling you to run, you are in danger but you don’t want to hear that, you want your fantasy, you want the love of your life, your soul mate. The love of your life, your soul mate would not hurt you, the love of your life would die to protect you. The love of your life would never make you the enemy, the love of your life would never hurt you with words let alone physically. The love of your life would never sneer as you cry, he would never call you names or twist your words, he would never turn on you and look at you with loathing.

So he/she can not be the love of your life, if you have parents, children or friends that care for you; do you want them to live with the pain of your murder? Do you want them to pack that burden for the rest of their lives? because you will be gone, it will be the people who love who will be left to carry the pain forever more. They will have to bury you, perhaps sit in court while your ex tells his lies, they will be the ones who ultimately lose. Not you, not the narcissist but the people who are left behind to mourn you and forever more wish they had one more day, feeling guilty because they didn’t save you some how. They will you know, they will feel guilty for not somehow saving you from yourself and from the N. You will leave children to miss their mother’s love.

When you think about the pain your loved ones will endure and are enduring knowing you are in danger and just won’t listen to reason; do you realize how selfish you are being? I didn’t, I always say I would die for my son, but I didn’t leave James, my son suffered because of that, I know it caused damage for my boy to worry about his mom, I can barely talk about it because of the guilt I feel.

Anyway, here is the link to Kim’s post.