Victims hear it from everyone they tell. They start to not tell people what goes on behind closed doors or what they suspect the narcissist is up to; because people don’t believe them; they can’t believe it themselves and think people will think they are lying. Because who does that!?
Why be in a relationship if you don’t love the person? Why lie about stupid things he doesn’t have to lie about. Why doesn’t he understand that you love him unconditionally? Why can’t you ever make him happy? Why when you do exactly what he tells you to do, he denies even saying it?
If he wants to break up and doesn’t love you, why does he keep coming back and accuse YOU of not loving him enough?
Why can’t you discuss anything without it ending in a huge fight?
I remember one time his sister was staying with us and we needed propane to cook with. He was in the barn so I text messaged him, “We are out of propane, I have money to get some.”
He messaged back, “I could go get the propane”.
I said, “Great! I’ll bring you the money. If you go for propane, I can get supper started while you’re gone “
I took him the money and went in the start supper. The gas station was a 15 minute round trip. After almost an hour I messaged, “Are you going to be much longer?”
His reply, “Nope”.
Another 15 minutes goes by and his sister says, message him again, what’s taking him so long?”
I wait a few more minutes and text, “Are you almost home?”
His reply, “I’m in the barn.”
Me, “You’re in the barn? Why didn’t say you were back?”
Him, “Back? From where”.
Me, “From getting propane.”
Him,” I didn’t say I was going to buy propane “
Me, “Yes you did, I brought you the money, you said you’d go for propane.”
Him, “I said I could go for propane, I didn’t say I WOULD go for propane.”
I told his sister what he had said and her mouth dropped open, “Who the fuck does that??!”
A narcissist does that, that’s who. Why? Because they are a narcissist and they love to mess with your head, upset you, ruin your plans, cause conflict, flex their power, get one up on someone. Life is a game, a game he invented, he writes the rules, and changes them at will, and he must win no matter what.