Tag Archives: hatred

Forgiveness and Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

I commented on a friend’s Facebook post that argued people are wrong to tell the victim of a narcissist that they must forgive the narcissist in order to heal. I agreed and called bullshit!! on forgiveness. This was my comment.

I think sometimes some good old hatred is needed in order to heal and move on. Forgiveness is great with normal healthy people who hurt us. The people capable of truly being sorry and changing. That is what forgiveness is based on in my mind. God knows we all make mistakes and all deserve to be forgiven because we can make amends for our mistakes. But with a narcissist you are dealing with a disordered person who is incapable of ever changing or making amends because he/she does not feel like a normal person. They don’t feel guilt, they are disabled emotionally, they only want forgiveness to use it against you. How can you forgive a lie? A mirage? A hologram?
The only forgiveness needed is for the victim. People who love a victim of a narcissist need to forgive the victim and the victim needs to forgive themselves because no one goes looking to be abused. If they would have known what he was they would not have chosen to be abused. My biggest struggle has been to forgive myself.
On the other hand; it is not healthy to carry hatred and to seek revenge on the narcissist. Hatred and revenge involves obsessing about the narc. Blotting and planning. Consequently putting far too much attention on the narcissist and that is his goal. He would love nothing more than for the victim to spend the rest of their life hating the narcissist. Plus it is counter productive to healing and moving on. Trying to find forgiveness is also counter productive because either way the victim is thinking about the narcissist embedding him deeper in their brain making it even harder to forget him. (Not that we ever truly forget him) the best thing a victim can do is get to know themselves intimately and live true to their core self. To learn to set boundaries in ALL their relationships, to honor their own values and standards and not believe the lies they have been told about themselves for their whole life. Embrace their sensitivity, they are not wrong or defective because they feel and care more than most people. They are rare and special and are needed in the world. They just have to learn how to protect themselves

This May Be Offensive To Some

I want to give you fair warning that this post may be offensive to some of you because it is going to contain a word I personally hate and I am sure many of you feel the same way I do, but I just have to make a post about it for several reasons.

  1. It proves once again that a narcissist does not change.
  2. It gives new meaning to the most offensive word in the English language (in my opinion)
  3. It might give you a laugh
  4. It demonstrated the fuckedupedness of how the narcissist brain works I don’t have the pay for IP tracker program any more and downgraded to the free version; so it only track 500 visitors per day. I don’t check it often but once every couple of weeks I will go in and have a look around, (it also tracks unique visits, repeat visits etc, all info that is nice to know). The last time I went in there was a visitor from Powell River again, so I kept a closer eye on it and they were in several days in a row. Now anyone in Powell River could be visiting my site, it doesn’t have to be my ex but in the past any time someone from Powell River visited my site something bad happened in my life, such as a drone outside my window, long lost friends calling to “just see how I am”, anonymous calls of complaint to welfare, landlords, and bosses……so I tend to take notice and start to watch my back when Powell River shows up on my visitor list.

I did a search on his usual User Name and came across his new blog and this is the post he had made.

“50 years wasted on cunts that were wrong for me.

At your very best, you will not be good enough for the wrong person.

At your very worst, the right person will be doing what they can to help, while still loving you.

It took me 50 years to figure that one out.

50 years wasted on cunts that were wrong for me. At least I figured it out.”

I hate the word, cunt; to me that is the worst thing you can call me. But! when I read it my first thought was;
“Finally!! he admits I was right all along. He is the one with the problem. Either he is attracted to psycho bitches or he turns them into psycho bitches but either way he has a problem.”
Then I thought, wait……what the hell is he saying? does it even make sense? there is nothing profound there. He has had it many times in his life, with every “cunt” he has been with.
Personally, if I met a guy and he told me that every woman he had ever been involved was a cunt, I would be running to the highest hill!! Even before I met my ex, for one thing I hate the word cunt but it is not possible to only date cunts unless you have major issues yourself. If a woman was complimented by a guy telling her she is the only woman he has dated that isn’t a cunt, I would wonder about her!
His statement is so hate filled, he obviously has not done any work on himself in the past 5 years. I have to wonder which woman he is trying to impress with this spewing of hate and self righteousness. Have no fear, she will join the ranks of cunts he has been with soon enough.
I came up with an acronym for C.U.N.T.S that has changed my whole view of the word and you may like it also.
C aring U nselfish N aïve T arget of a S ociopath
Yep. That would make me a cunt alright!
How about you? are you  cunt too?