Tag Archives: Internet Dating

Finding Love When You Least Expect It.

Haven’t you had a friend tell you that they met the love of their life when they had given up on it. “When you stop looking for it and least expect it, that is when you’ll meet “the one”.

I recently watched Dirty John on Netflix and was blown away by how it paralleled my relationship with my ex at every turn. The same instant attraction, the same miscommunications, the same misunderstandings.

Like Debra, I was sick of the losers I was meeting on Plenty Of Fish. They were never what they professed to be. I had even removed my ad and vowed I was done with men, at least internet men. There was one lawyer I had already started talking to over the phone and when I told him I was done with meeting men. He argued that seeing as we had already started talking we should at least meet.

We lived about an hour and a half apart but I was going to be in a small village, about half way between our houses; to book my staff xmas party. If he could meet me there I was willing. He agreed.

I was to meet him at a bar across the street from the restaurant at 5 pm that Wednesday evening.

I was too embarrassed to admit I had already deleted his pics off my computer and didn’t remember what he looked like.
I figured it would be easy enough to pick him out. How many guys could there be by himself, in the bar on a Wednesday night looking like he is looking for someone?!

I got to the bar early, ordered myself a glass of dry white wine and messaged him I was there. He said he was running late and just leaving the office. A quick calculation of rush hour traffic x distance, told me, best case scenario, I had at least an hour to kill. “Great! I already regret agreeing to meet him. I know I don’t like him from talking on the phone, meeting in person isn’t going to change that.

I finished my wine, checked the time, “He shouldn’t be much longer“, ordered another wine and decided to go for a smoke on the outside patio. I got a few cat calls and offers of a place to sit from a few guys.

It was not unusual for me to draw attention from men. I knew I was looking good that night, (in my younger days I could turn heads) ūüėČ I had on a short jumper dress that made my legs look 5 feet long, 3 inch heels, dark hose, and my shoulder length sun bleached hair was in my usual “freshly fucked” look. (My brother’s description)

I was keeping my eye on the door in case he walked in. Just as I was heading back to my table I saw a guy come through the door. He was very handsome, curly short black hair, glasses, worn jeans, cowboy boots, a crisp white shirt undone just enough to show a little chest hair and stylish black leather bomber type jacket. He looked like he smelled good. He stopped and casually scanned the bar.

Hmmm he’s better looking than I remember. This might work out better than I expected” He was still looking around when I start to walk towards him. Our eyes connected, he smiled, dimples, chiselled chin, clean shaven, nice!
It must be him“.

I gave him a huge smile and started to raise my arms as if to give him a hug as I walked towards him. I could tell he was prepared to hug me back.

At the last moment it hit me, he can’t possibly be my date!
Abort! Abort! He’s much too young! too tall, too handsome….. abort!!”

My first impression was that he was a preppy, university, rich kid trying to look like a bad boy, not a 40 something lawyer.

I took a sharp turn to the left and sat at my table against the window. “Thank God my wine had arrived while I was making a fool out of myself.”

I was sitting there staring out the window, wishing Scotty would just beam me up. “You idiot! That guy must think you are crazy! You almost hugged a complete stranger!! Oh God!! Where is that asshole lawyer??! When I finish this glass of wine I am leaving!!
I was so deep into berating myself I was startled when I heard a soft, sexy male voice ask if he could buy me a drink.

I looked to my right and saw his faded jeans, looking up I got a closer look at the chiseled chin and dimpled smile, smiling blue eyes, and

I stuttered, “Excuse me?”
He laughed and said, “I was asking if I could buy you a drink or are you waiting for someone.”

I could feel my face getting hot as I smiled and said I was waiting for someone, thanks anyway.

He shrugged and said, “I figured you probably were but would have never forgiven myself if I hadn’t asked. You can’t blame a guy for trying. Have a good night.”
I watched him walk back to his table, he had an easy confident stride, cowboy boots type of stride, nice! Yes! I shamelessly checked out his butt, don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t! No slack in the ass jeans there! His jeans fit perfectly! I loves me a man with jeans that fit or more to the point; an ass that fits his jeans. “Shit!”

I had to use the washroom which required walking right past the handsome stranger’s table.
He was on his phone when I went past the first time but he gave me a little wave and smile. When I came out he was off his phone, I walked past but stopped and went back.

“I feel I owe you an explanation for almost hugging you earlier. I’m not crazy, really.”

He laughed and admitted he was curious.
I explained I was waiting for a blind date and had mistaken him for my date but realized he couldn’t possibly be him at the last moment. He laughed and asked why I didn’t know what the guy looked like so I explained about having a personal ad and taking it down, deleting the pics etc. He asked what I thought of internet dating, he had been thinking about trying it but never had. I told him I wasn’t impressed and would stick to the old fashioned way of meeting men.

I went back to my table but decided to go for another smoke, again walking past his table. We smiled and said Hi as I passed. “He must think I am stalking him I keep walking past him.”

While having my smoke I decided that I was just going to leave, this was rediculous. On my way past the handsome stranger’s table he handed me a folded slip of paper, “If your date doesn’t work out I hope you’ll call me.”

Just as I took the note from him, he said, “I think your date is here.”

I looked up at the exact time I was taking the slip and my date’s eyes and mine met as I quickly stuffed the note in my pocket.

I went up to him and introduced myself, he said, “A friend of yours?”


There was NO chemistry with lawyer dude. I took an immediate dislike to him. He was loud, obnoxious, and made sure the whole bar heard how much his car cost, that he was a lawyer, how much he spent at the last restaurant he went to etc etc. I was embarrassed to have anyone think I would like someone like that or have the handsome stranger think I would be attracted to anyone that shallow. I hadn’t heard of narcissists yet so I would later describe him as a pompous ass lawyer.

Handsome stranger joked easily with the waitress, paid his bill, went back to his table and slipped a $5 tip under his empty beer bottle, and left, smiling and waving discreetly from behind my dates back. I felt like yelling, “Come back!”

My date droned on and on about himself. “Does he even notice I am not listening to him?” I had to purposely keep my mind from drifting.

The handsome stranger came back in. He caught my eye and smiled, I rolled my eyes, he laughed, got some matches from the waitress and walked out.

I interrupted my date, “I’ve got to go. Sorry. I have an hour drive home and have work tomorrow.”
He was angry. He had just got here.
I said, “Exactly. I’ve been waiting for almost 2 hours. I’m going home.”

He asked if he could see me again and I said, “I don’t think we have much in common, I don’t think another date is a good idea.” I put a $20 on the table and walked out.

In the car I unfolded the slip of paper, the stranger’s name was scrawled across it with his phone number.

My teenaged son had been bugging me to start dating, I had been single a year and a half since my 3rd marriage ended. He was anxious to know how my date went when I walked through the door. I told him about the night, the lawyer and the handsome stranger.

My son said, “Call him Mom!!”

I never called men, “Really? You think I should call? Now?”

My son, “Sure Mom. He gave you his number, call him. What have you got to lose?”

“You’re sure?”


And so my Harlequin Romance began.

It seems internet dating sites are the most popular way for people to meet a partner, it saves times, you get to learn about a person’s interests, personality and likes and dislikes before you even meet, On Plenty of Fish you can take the¬†Chemistry¬†Compatibility¬†Test, on OK Cupid¬†you answer questions and are matched up with prospective dates according to how many questions you answer alike.
EHarmony picks your matches for you based on a questionnaire and personality test you both fill out. There are so many dating sites offering different ways to find the love of your life you could spend years on the internet, fall in love numerous times and never leave the comfort of your pj’s and living room.
There are sites where everyone is there to simply hook up for sex and if that is what a person is looking for more power to them, it’s not my cup of tea but Hey I respect their honesty! I would rather have a guy tell me straight up, “I am only looking for a quick roll in the hay” or as one guy so eloquently put it, “How about sitting on my face?” It gives the other person the opportunity to hit “DELETE” without any of the “who pays for dinner?, should we split the bill? how the hell did I get myself into this?” bullshit of going on an actual date. In¬†theory it is a great idea and many people have met their life partner online dating but unfortunately it is also the perfect setting for predators to find an innocent victim.
I didn’t meet JC through an online site, I met him the old fashioned way; in a bar. It also used to be said that you would never find true love in a bar, but i know several people who did. No matter what method you use to find a man you are taking a chance and need to be diligent about protecting yourself emotionally, physically and financially. I am not saying that men can’t or don’t fall prey to a predatory just like women do, both genders, straight or gay, all nationalities and religions have to be careful and proactive about personal safety regardless of how they meet someone.
Like I said, I met JC face to face in a bar, ironically while I was waiting to meet up with a man I had met through an online dating site.¬†¬†I had already decided I was done with on line dating because I was sick of reading a guy’s profile, talking to him on the phone, making clear what I was looking for, (at least 6′ tall, I am 5’11” and short guys love tall women and tend to think a tall woman makes up for their lack of height plus I hate to feel like I can squish the man I am in bed with, gainfully employed, no small children, my son was grown and out of the house I didn’t want wee ones in my life any more, I was self sufficient and independent and expected the same) only to meet the guy and find out his is living in his mother’s basement with his 6 year old daughter and isn’t working at the moment because he feels it is important for him to be there when she gets home from school, or he is 5’6″ but owns a really big truck. ¬†I was also sick of men insisting on chatting online even after meeting, there is something suspicious about not wanting to TALK on the phone, not text, but real-time-you-have-to-give-me-your-full-attention-for-5-minutes conversation. One of the things that attracted me to JC from the very first conversation was that he didn’t even own a computer! Oh stop my beating heart, a man who knows how to have a conversation just like in the olden days! Mind you that was almost 15 years ago, Facebook hadn’t even been invented yet. AND I don’t have to tell you how this wonderful union ended, so no guarantees of meeting Mr Right face to face either.
After being out of the dating pool for over 12 years I didn’t really know what to expect so I joined several dating sites just to snoop around and see who was out there, hang out in the shallow end to get an idea of what the expectations were of the people bobbing around in the deep end of the pool.
To be honest, I was a little blown away that JC had managed to find a woman so quickly and that she moved him in within weeks. I was quite confident he was going to have a hard time finding a woman who would tolerate what I had for years. When I had met him he had a lot going for him, or so I thought but I thought he was pretty lucky that I stuck it out like I did because he wasn’t so hot any more.¬†(I didn’t know at the time that he was a psychopath who was about to morph into the catch of the day). ¬†Not to say I didn’t find him attractive, because I always did, well almost always, there were periods of time when he wasn’t terrible concerned with hygiene reserving his “handsome” self for when he went out without me. He also took to carrying a change of clothes and cologne in his car at all times. (you never know when you are going to have to impress a woman,¬†there is something truly repulsive about a man who uses cologne in lei of a shower)¬†We all age, and that’s the wonderful thing about true and lasting love, you age at the same time and even when things start to sag, and the man’s 6 pack turns into a keg, and the woman’s nipple ring gets mistaken for a belly button ring, you have history together and hopefully failing eye sight.¬†
But to go back into the pool when you are middle age is a little daunting. When I met JC he had a lot going for him, well I have to admit most of it was bullshit so I suppose he fed all the new women he was dating a line of crap also but I was still surprised when I read in his journal that all these women were buying HIS dinner out, and then going home with him and screwing him, with no commitment past midnight. He had picked 10 women and was dating them all with the intention of narrowing it down to one lucky sucker and these women were vying for his attention! I was stunned, so I went into the forums on POF and asked what the views were on women paying the way, going to bed with the guy on the first date and was it normal for a woman to move a guy into her house after only knowing him for a couple of weeks. I felt like I had been living in a cave or something, a lot had changed in the dozen years I had been out of circulation. Yes guys expected women to pay for dates or at least split the bill (I have always reciprocated if a guy took me out for a nice dinner but if a guy can’t afford to buy me dinner and he is 45+ years old I am going to wonder what he’s got to offer, sorry if that offends anyone. Almost everyone had the 3 date rule for sex, if the woman doesn’t come across by the 3rd date the guy is out of there! really?? really?? and yes it is very common for a woman to move a guy into HER house within the first month of dating. Really???………..well ………..
I could see I had been all wrong about JC, he was perfect for most women on these sites.
I am sure JC had a really good line of lies he wove to snare these women, he couldn’t have possibly been honest and said, “I am a loser, who; was verbally, physically and financially abusive to my ex, is getting fired for stealing, live in a mouse infested rented trailer and drive a shit box car that is actually in my ex’s name and she has to insure it for me because I owe so much money to ICBC, I am in debt up to my eye balls and expect you will buy dinner, and oh yeah…..I expect sex but I will keep dating these other 9 women and let you know if you “win” me at some later point in time.” But the sad part is, I think there are women out there who would say “OK.”
I believe in women having equal rights and all that and that a man does not have to support a woman, God knows I do not expect a man to take care of me, BUT for the love of Pete, I expect he should be able to support himself. Are women that¬†desperate for a man in their life? I guess so because he had several to choose from and ended up with a real prize who has now sold her home and invested in joint property in timbucktoo, she lent him over $20,000 in the first 6 weeks. I still wonder what kind of lie he told her for her to invest everything her husband and her had attained into a loser with nothing. I know he told her I was a psycho bitch that bled him dry but if that was the case why on earth was his car in my name with MY name on the insurance? and why was the last time I insured it for him 2 weeks after they started dating? I mean IF I was such a psycho bitch and all, you would think I would just take my fucking car wouldn’t you? I always wondered how he got around that one. Oh well doesn’t matter, my point is that women are acting like desperate fools and it is no wonder they are getting taken advantage of. I want to say to all these middle aged women with a little bit of hard earned equity or saving,
¬†“For the love of God, stop being so damn desperate!”
That said, you can hardly blame them feeling desperate if this is the type of guys out there, this is a real, believe it or not, personal ad that came up in my “people you might be interested in” email the other day. Lord help us all, does this really work for the guy??

Man, 47 years old

Seeking a woman 18 – 57 – Niiiiice he makes sure they are legal, You did notice he is 47 YEARS OLD

  • Occupation
  • Artist – artist, love the vagueness
  • Education
  • Other degree – what kind of degree is “other” I respect a man who works hard, he doesn’t need a degree, a BA or “other”wise
  • Annual Income
  • $25,000-$50,000 – That works out to about $12/hr, in Canada $25,000 is not enough to live on, you can make $12 an hour at MacDonalds and you did see how old he is right?
  • Smokes
  • Occasionally¬†–¬†minus about $3500 a year off that $25,000
  • Drinks
  • Occasionally
    About Myself
  • I’am a musician and artist : harmonica player/ singer-songwriter. (Also D.J. on the side) Luv all types of music as long as it has a good groove preferably for dancing! Am well travelled and read, with a sarcastic & witty humour. As far as my evil twin brother the Orgasmetron: He luv’s to please & be pleased. The motto your pleasure is all mine/ Butt please do not be in a rush – thus you can discover the bit about patience, virtue & maximum pleasure.Oh yes thank-you kindly butt please live with in reasonable driving distance. All you honey’s south of the Canadian border: you r welcome to visit, but due to some 4:20 adventure’s I apparently am not welcome to come down and visit. Thus the closer we live together the more time we will have to explore the Karma Sutra … Hope 2 hear from u soon, Can only reply 2 U if you e-me at the following: drdondj69 Bye For Now Cheers.

What I’m Looking For

I’d luv to find a kind & caring nymphomaniac contortionist, a girl with a guitar, or my next luv.Pleeeze live close by ONLY !!¬†self-assured end Quote*****

I have this really bad visual of this middle aged woman playing the guitar with her legs wrapped around the back of her head having sex. *shudder* or worse yet, an 18 year old guitar player, oh …… I just threw up in my mouth. Everyone hide your daughters!!

And then I love the end part “or his next luv” so you don’t have to own a guitar if you are lucky enough to be his next luv and then Oh yeah…self-assured as an after thought.

OMG I can not even start to tell you what I think about this guy!! please tell me it is a joke!!

I have to admit by comparison JC is a real catch so I will have to cut women some slack.

If you do decide to venture out into the dating world via the internet even after everything I have said here are a few pointers:

1) If he only talks to you via email or text message get suspicious. Or if he only calls during business hours or late late at night. Something is up, he is avoiding a wife overhearing his conversations. Call him at dinner time, or early evening and see if he answers and how he talks to you. If he is only loving and sweet at weird hours he has a wife at the other end. The song “Say My Name” comes to mind.


2) Texting is great, love it myself but if you call him and he doesn’t answer but text messages you he is either playing many women at once or has a wife.

3) Don’t believe everything you read, like I said in a previous post, they lie!! Google their name and see what comes up, years ago before I met JC I was chatting to a fellow for a couple of months, he was sending me lovely gifts, we talked on the phone regularly, and he wanted to send me a ticket to fly to Nashville and spend a weekend with him. I Googled his name and nothing came up. He only had a cell number and when he mailed me gifts he used a PO box return address. I asked for his address and when I Googled it an empty lot in an industrial area came up. I paid $80 to an investigation company in the states to find out if this guy was on the up and up, no one by that name lived in the United States let alone Nashville. There used to be a blogger on WordPress who was a single woman talking about her experiences dating. She met a man on line through her blog and they talked daily for over a year, they were in love, he was her soul mate and she his. She flew to a foreign country to meet him and almost ended up dead. She ran from the hotel room into the lobby where she was able to contact her mother who sent money for her to fly home. Through speaking out about her experiences with him in her blog more and more women came forward with stories about the same man. He was married, NOT near as influential as he let on, and a psychopath without a doubt.

4) Pictures say a thousand words, but they could be all lies. Believe it when you see it with your own eyes, and if he isn’t in the pictures with a current newspaper showing the date doubt its authenticity.

5) I can’t say I haven’t fallen for it myself but really …….. if he is in love and you haven’t even met see it as a HUGE red flag. When JC forgot to sign out of his POF profile on my laptop and I went into his account he was sending the exact same email to at least 8 women, just changing a few minor details. He called everyone Babe so he didn’t even have to change the “To” part. He had 8 women looking at the moon every night at 10 pm thinking he was looking at the same moon where he was envisioning walking up behind her and sliding his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. He had a “gut feeling” they were meant to be together and he always listens to his gut. Gag me!!!!! and when I sent them all each other’s emails and he started getting angry questioning responses from the women he told them all that I was his psycho ex who had hacked into his computer and trying to ruin his life. Could they please just start over and not let this psycho ruin what he knew was a match made in heaven. Some of the women believed him. It’s easy to believe the guy might have a psycho ex who would do something like that because we have all been with a psycho that would do something like that. I say cut your losses and run, maybe he is a nice guy but do you want to get involved with a guy who has a psycho ex? I don’t.

6) Challenge him on something he says. As with the women I was just talking about, some of them just said, “Seeya!!”when they didn’t accept his explanation he got angry and said, “He thought they were better than that, he had misjudged them, they were just like all the rest of the women out there,. oh well their loss.” and it worked on some of them. Everyone wants to be “special” don’t bite the bait.

7) GOOGLE – dig for info on him, just because he has a normal sounding guy looking for love profile, on POF doesn’t mean he is not on a xxx site looking for threesomes, masochistic sex, bi-curious or casual discreet sex.

8) If he removes his profile because he has found you, the love of his life. Don’t believe it, he has hidden his profile and he is still trolling, only difference is he has to do all the looking because no one can see his profile. and if you are approached by a guy who has his profile hidden because he has a psycho ex stalking him – RUN!!

9) if he is split from his ex but they are living together until the house sells, stay clear. Sure it could be the truth but it also means he hasn’t been split that long and has baggage to deal with before you want to get involved with him.

10) If he compares you to his ex in anyway something is not right. When I think back, all the normal guys I ever dated didn’t compare me to their ex’s, in fact they had very little to say about their ex’s usually. The only guy I ever met whose ex’s were all psychos was JC. I know with my own relationships each one ended for a different reason,I didn’t keep repeating history, if a person has repeated history in all his relationships they have a problem and they need to find out why they pick the people they do before they get involved again.

Like I said to JC, either you are attracted to psycho bitches or you turn women into psycho bitches but YOU have a problem.

Good Luck and look out for the sharks!


Why Was I Attracted To The Narcissist ?

Not long ago a fellow named Tom commented on my page, “Playing With The Cards I’m Dealt”

He said that the victims have to look at their part in the relationship especially what attracted them to the narcissistic and why they stayed, like Tom said, “the guy didn’t pack you off, tie you up and keep you prisoner.” That is a very common opinion of people who have never experienced abuse first hand. It is a factual statement, none of us were physically shackled.

It is true that some women get involved with one abusive man after another and they really do need to look at what they are getting from that type of relationship.

But, correct me if I am wrong; most women who have been in a relationship with a narcissistic/psychopath had never been in an abusive relationship before. I am not saying the victim has no responsibility in the relationship; as I said in my Last Letter of Thanks To JC, I take responsibility for the relationship going on far too long.

So I thought I’d share in a little more detail how JC and I met and why I was so attracted to him.
I was building to that with my posts about the baby I gave up for adoption in 1975, my first husband’s motorcycle accident and my son, Kris’s birth and then got sidetracked. I really hate to leave things 1/2 done and Tom’s question has motivated me to wrap it all up.

First of all I wanted to finish up the story about my first marriage, Victor got out of the trauma unit and was in a ward for another 2 1/2 months. When he came home he still required alot of care, dressing changes, etc. He didn’t remembered any of his time in ICU. I was drained and needed nurturing myself, Victor just could not understand. My dream to have a baby I could keep and bring home to a loving family had been dangled in front of me and then snatched when Victor had his accident.
I needed to go back to work, Victor burying himself in booze, I just couldn’t handle it and we split up. We carried a torch for each other for many years and I knew I would never love anyone like I had loved Victor, in my heart he was my one true love. When Kris was 2 they couldn’t hold off any longer and I had to have a hysterectomy. I remarried, twice; the first time I knew I didn’t really love the guy but he was good to Kris and Kris needed a daddy ,(stupid of me to marry someone for that reason I know that now) before our 1st anniversary we were split because the guy wanted me to ship Kris off to his dads. I married again years later and won’t bore you with the details, but we still keep in touch and probably should have just been friends and never married.

Through the years after my first marriage broke up I went to counselling to deal with issues from my childhood, I took effective communication courses, joined a gym and over came an eating disorder, basically I worked on myself.

I had worked very hard and by 1998, at the age of 40 had $20,000 in retirement saving, a $200,000 beautiful home and an excellent credit rating. Due to circumstances beyond my control, some stupid choices on my part, a bad economy and my ex I lost everything and was starting over at 42.

I had been dating a bit, had a profile on POF but hadn’t met anyone I wanted to continue seeing and had made the decision to just be single for awhile and had not accepted any more dates. There was one fellow, a lawyer, who was very persistent about wanting to meet so I agreed to meet him for a drink. He had sent his picture but I had deleted it and only had a vague idea what he looked like. I didn’t want to admit I had deleted his picture and figured we were meeting on a Wednesday evening, how many guys would be single in the bar and looking like they were looking for someone? I was sure I’d be able to pick him out.

I had come from booking the staff Christmas party at a nice restaurant and went to wait for him at the agreed upon bar. He was stuck in traffic so I ordered a glass of wine, then another, he still hadn’t arrived so I went out on the patio to have a smoke, keeping my eye on the door should he walk in. Then a nicely dressed fellow walked in, jeans, nice crisp white shirt, black leather bomber type jacket, glasses, short tight curly hair; and he was scanning the room like he was looking for someone. I thought to myself, “He’s much better looking than I had thought.” I started to walk in his direction, I knew I was looking good. I had on a short tight skirt, 3 inch pumps that made me 6’2″ I had long sun bleached hair that I kept in a style my brother called my “FF look” (freshly fucked ) I was smiling, our eyes met and he smiled back. It must be him I thought and started to put my arms out to give him a hug but just before I got to him I realized, no!! it can’t be him! This guy is much younger and I turned and went to sit at my table. I felt like an idiot, the guy must be wondering what the hell was that all about? I was looking out the window wishing the mother ship would beam me out of there when I heard,”can I buy you a drink or are you waiting for. someone?” I turned and was looking at a man’s crotch, my eyes travelled up catching a glimpse of a slightly hairy chest where his shirt was undone, I could feel myself starting to blush and as our eyes met I stammered I was waiting for someone. He smiled and said,” I figured as much but I had to ask, have nice night” and went back to his table. “Nice bum” I thought.

I had to use the washroom and walked past his table on the way, he smiled, and kinda gave me a little wave, he seemed sort of shy. I walked past him again going back to my table but I turned and went back to his table.
Me; “I think I owe you an explanation as to why I almost hugged you and then walked away and sat down.” so I explained the whole story of how I was on this internet dating site and I was meeting this guy, had thrown his picture away and he looked like he was looking for someone but I realized he was much younger etc. We had a couple of laughs and he said something about he had been thinking about trying an online dating site but didn’t have a computer. I said I hadn’t had much luck so far and had decided to give it a rest and then I went and sat down.

When my date still hadn’t shown up I went for another smoke and had to walk past the nice bum guy again, we exchanged smiles. On my way back to my table as I walked past him he said, “I hope you’ll call me if the date doesn’t work out” and handed me a piece of paper with his number on it. Just as I am taking the paper from his hand (nice strong hands that showed he wasn’t afraid of a hard days work), my date walked in.


My date was a self centered blowhard that talked loudly, bragged about all his possessions, how much money he made, and how important he was.¬† He put a price tag on everything and complained loudly when the food was a little slow coming. We had ordered appetizers and of course he had eaten better somewhere else. I was bored out of my mind and left as soon as possible. He was the kind of guy I would have called a narcissist at that time and a complete turn off. He seemed surprised when he said he’d call me and I said not to bother. I thanked him for dinner and hightailed it out of there. If I had been undecided about getting out of POF¬† this guy settled it; I was done with online dating. I had met guys who were still living with their mother, guys who were “separated” but still living with their wife, guys who spent the whole night talking about what a bitch their ex was, guys looking to get lucky, guys looking for someone to cook and clean for them, I’d met psychos who fell in love on the first date and got jealous because I looked up when a guy walked in. One guy accused me of meeting a guy in the bathroom. Another guy I had only talked to on the phone wanted to come over at 11 pm and when I said no he lost it and started screaming at me, then called back to apologize and say he was grumpy because he had just quit smoking and I told him to start again. I had met guys who, even though we had met in person still wanted to chat on the internet instead of just calling and talking.

I just wanted to meet a normal hard working guy who didn’t have little kids, and didn’t have a bunch of baggage.

When I got home my son asked how it went and I told him the guy was a loser and then told him about the guy that gave me his number. My son said, “Call him”.
I said that he looked alot younger than me. My son said,”Mom, all my friends think your a milf.”
Me: “Kris!”
Kris: “Its true mom. Maybe you need to date someone younger, call him, what have you got to lose?”
Me: “Really ? You think I should call? Is it too late? Its almost 10.
Kris getting exasperated now:¬† “Call!!!!”
Me: “ok!! I’ll call I’ll call.”

So I called. It rang twice and he picked up.
Me: “Hi, its Carrie calling. I don’t know if you remember me, you gave me your number tonight at the bar?”
Him laughing: “I remember. How did your date go?”
Me: ” I’m calling aren’t I.”