Tag Archives: law of attraction

Law Of Attraction Is Powerful – Don’t Make The Same Mistake I Did

ice and fireBe careful what you think about, it just might manifest itself! and when I say “mistake” I am not saying I am sorry it turned out the way it did really, I just would have worked more on improving MY life and not thought about him at all. But what is done is done and I shall pass it along in hopes you learn from my err of judgment.

This post is about how I accidentally manifested the other woman for my then narcissistic partner.

I didn’t know I was doing it, manifesting I mean; I was actually trying to make myself feel better. Telling myself that it would impossible for my ex to ever find the type of woman he needed to be happy.

After years of never jumping high enough, dancing fast enough, giving enough blow jobs, always being told I created drama and we all know how much the narcissist hates conflict! Him sabotaging my jobs yet going on rants and rages about how much money I was costing him. Sabotaging my truck and then complaining bitterly about having to rescue me when my truck broke down. Him literally refusing to buy food and me having to eat porridge for a week while he ate out everyday and brought take out home for himself or handed me a take out container with the left overs of his burger in it and expect me to be thankful that he “bought me supper”. No, you just handed me your garbage, I would rather starve than eat your soggy French fries. Then we would finally get groceries and I would make supper and he would go on and on about how it was about time I cooked a decent meal!

When he would go on one of his rants about how ungrateful I was and it was “over” he had had enough of “this” I would console myself with thoughts of exactly what kind of woman would make him happy.

For one thing she would have to have enough money to keep him in the life style he wanted to live and carry him whenever he got fired, which was every few months BUT she would have to be independently wealthy because he would not want her working. He was younger than me, so only 45 at the time, not so easy to find a financially independent woman at that age who doesn’t need to work.

But even if he did manage to find one she had better not have children because he would not like sharing her attention with kids and there really should not be an ex husband either because that would just be one more person occupying her time. While we are at it, it would be best if she didn’t have pets either because James always bitched that I loved Kato (my dog) more than him, and cooked the dog better meals. (I knew the dog would be home for supper.)

She would have to have been raised by wolves or in a convent because she would have to be very naïve and gullible to put up with the 2nd On-line life he led. She could not be an independent strong woman, which is getting harder to find these days; she would have to be a woman who loved to cater to a man and put herself last and she would have to not have any needs, desires, or dreams of her own and live only to please him.
By the time I would go through the whole list of prerequisites any woman would have to possess to be with him I was confident;  he would never find a woman better than me.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this imaginary woman and by the time I left him I was fairly confident he would not be finding a woman to take my place any time soon. After all, he had been fired for stealing again, owned nothing, not a stick of furniture, nothing. Did not have a dime and drove an old car with a broken windshield that was actually in MY name.  He was a slob who showered rarely and always looked like he rolled in something that didn’t smell good. Who would want him? Why did I want him? I didn’t, I told myself. He will regret the day he lost me, I was sure of that. No other woman would put up with what I had, no woman!!

Quite by accident one day while searching the net to see if he had posted those videos he had secretly taped of us having sex, I came across his blog. He even stated in his blog that he was going to pick 10 women on Plenty Of Fish and by process of elimination narrow it down to 2 or 3 and then see which one worked the hardest to get him. How cocky of him!! I still consoled myself with thoughts of the this nonexistence woman he would have to find to be happy.

He wrote about these women who took him out for supper and then went home with him and screwed his brains out. What was wrong with these women? Did they have no pride? But they all worked, they had kids, they had ex husbands.

I hate to admit it but I was still seeing him at least once a week, not having sex with him and not allowing him to come to where I lived but seeing him none the less. We had been for dinner one night (yes I bought him dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant, shoot me!) he was very loving and walked me to my truck, kissed me good night and said he loved me. He was supposed to be leaving the province in a week or two for a job and I was looking forward to him being out of sight out of mind.

The next day the police called to see if I knew where my car was because it was parked on the corner of such a such street with the keys in it. The cop told me he had seen it parked there many times and they were not going to tow it, they just wanted to make sure I knew where it was. Strange.

I went up and discovered he was seeing a married woman, long story short I almost drove over him with my truck but got my wits about me in time. I was shattered again. The next day he took great pleasure in telling me that he had moved in with the “love of his life” and it was not the married woman. He had left her house and driven straight to another woman’s house and broke down in her driveway and was now living there.

He could barely contain his glee as he told me all about her. First thing he said was, “She’s a widow.” Well no, that is not the very first thing he said. he started the conversation by saying he was now semi-retired. THEN he said she was a widow, and the exact same age as him, their birthdays were 2 weeks apart. He went on, she owned her home, rented out the top half and living in the bottom half. He was driving her brand new Honda Pilot, she owned holiday property on a west coast island, she didn’t have children, didn’t have pets, had never worked and always been a house wife, she had a very sheltered upbringing and was very naïve. When he was late she cooked supper and left it wrapped in cellophane on the counter for him. She was frugal and still owned her first set of pots and pans (like I give a damn!)

As he listed off all her qualities like listing off the features of a home you want to buy, 3 bedrooms, 2 and 1/2 baths and easy to maintain, move in ready!

And that is what he did, she got a ride to his place (he was driving her Pilot so had to get her niece to drive her) and packed him up, cleaned the place and moved him in within the first week. Within the first 6 weeks she had lent him $20,000 and he was talking about how HIS shop at the house was too small and he wanted to move. By the 2nd year she had sold her house, bought a home 9 hours drive from all her friends and family  and he had bought a truck, Harley, 10 ton truck, semi, and God only knows how many guitars. She is not the most attractive woman and I am sure he has made her feel damn lucky to have a good looking rebel without a cause like him.

And he has me to thank for it all. I manifested the whole damn thing!! SO, if you are sitting there obsessing about how happy your ex is, how he is doing everything for the new woman that you ever wanted and more! and dwelling how your life sucks and you will never find happiness….. STOP, just stop it right now!!  Quit giving him your power!! If you insist on thinking about him at least envision him treating her as badly as he treated you, picture her waiting at home for a phone call or texting and him not replying. picture her crying and him screaming at her that is he is “Sick of THIS! all you do is cry and create conflict!!” it is much closer to the truth and why attract anything good into his life by thinking about it!

This is you, without the narcissist sucking you dry. hold this thought!

This is you, without the narcissist sucking you dry. hold this thought!

I want you to envision yourself being wined and dined and appreciated by a good intentioned man who respects you. Picture money flowing freely to you from all areas, envision being vibrant, healthy, full of life and laughter. Don’t give up! it won’t be easy at first, you have to work at it until it becomes a habit. You can do this!!!

Even if you don’t believe in the laws of attraction, thinking about him being happy is making you miserable so you have nothing to lose by giving it a try!

Come on, for me, just try it.

Law Of Attraction and Why The Narcissist Seems Immune to Karma

There you are, barely functioning, destroyed by the narcissist and it seems the target of every user/loser in the world and the narcissist is living the good life – What the hell ever happened to Karma?

dear karma

I have thought about this ever since James and I split and I recently, like this morning; had an epiphany. So bare with me, this might jump around a bit because I am so excited, my mind is jumping.

If there is a God, if there is such a thing as Karma, then why is it the victim of the narcissist seem to be left in a deep pit of bad luck and despair while the evil narcissist is being rewarded for his horrific behavior? It goes against everything we have ever been taught about life, the do unto others theory, the belief that people who do bad things have to deal with “Karma” and will pay a price, that if we lead a good honest life we will be rewarded; it all seems to be lies!! The narcissist just goes from victim to victim without ever being punished and in fact he seems to be rewarded!! Why?? How is that fair??

To top it all off the victim seems to just get more shit dumped on them, they meet another narcissist the very first time they decide to date, they have to work with narcissists, their money situation gets worse and worse, their health is bad, friends drop off. It’s hard to believe you were not to blame when it seems you are being punished in some way. Maybe the narcissist was right, maybe you ARE a bad person, because if you weren’t you wouldn’t have to deal with all this crap.


I have been studying the Law Of Attraction lately because I want answers for myself, and for you; and this is what I have deciphered.

If you believe in the laws of attraction, which I do, it’s kinda hard not to there is no much evidence proving there is something to this; it still seems unfair that the narcissist, a truly evil person; would attract all these good things to himself. Until you look at it from a logical and rational perspective. Law of attraction works from a vibrational level, they say  that in order to attract good things into your life you have to vibrate above the 500 level;

Feelings that give off high vibrations are; Love, Joy, Peace and Gratitude – all feelings we USED to feel and narcissists are attracted to people who exude those feelings because people who vibrate at a higher level tend to be more forgiving, to see the good in others, and love more deeply.

Feelings that give off low vibrations are; Shame, Guilt, Fear and Anger – the victim is left with these feelings after months, years sometimes decades of abuse and being told they are to blame, society blaming them, them blaming themselves. We are the lowest of the low by the time the narcissist is done with us.

By a show of hands; how many victims felt totally drained, like they weren’t themselves, almost dirty, a shell of the person they once were? And the narcissist basically took over their life.

show of hands

I thought so!

Are you seeing where I am going with this? It is easy to see why the victim is receiving shit because they are vibrating at the lowest with feelings of shame, guilt, fear and anger.

But how does someone as evil and conniving as a narcissist manage to vibrate at the high level emotions, they don’t even really feel love, joy or gratitude! Wait!! we are once again viewing this from our perspective, the way it should be, think about how the mind of a narcissist works

(this is strictly my own theory because to my knowledge no one else has thought of it). I know that James studied mind control, the power of the mind, meta physics of the mind, and he used to tell me that I brought on the bad things that happened with my negative thinking. I had never been accused of being a negative person but I have to admit I became that way after years with James. How does one not become negative when every time you have something special planned something happens to ruin it, you never know when your spouse is going to be home, where he is, if he is lying, and you walk on egg shells 24/7? You become negative out of self preservation! if you expect the worst you can’t be disappointed. James used to tell me all the time, if you had no expectations you wouldn’t be disappointed. So I started expecting the worst and I was never disappointed.

Whenever James and I split over the course of the first 6 years, my life got better, I was able to manifest whatever I needed (every time we split I left with nothing) all I had to do was think “I need a couch” or “I sure could use a microwave” or “I need to make $400 today” and it would happen or appear within 24 hours, consistently. So when James and I split the last time I was shocked when things didn’t fall into place like they always had. What I failed to realize was, he had come back with the sole intention of destroying me and my ability to manifest good things in my life. We had split and he saw me succeeding and hated it! (a narcissist feels that if they leave you with anything at all they have failed or are losing something because their purpose was to take everything you had of value and that may include your family, children and self esteem.)

Once the narcissist manages to sabotage your self esteem and instill self doubt you end up on the never ending cycle of negativity that leads to more negativity. See how that happens?

So that explains the victim, but what about the narcissist who is full of toxic emotions, how can he reap so many good things in his life? The keys is; just like the victim is a good person who has been taught to feel insecure and unworthy, the narcissist does not believe he is bad, he feels justified in the things he does, he does not fear anyone, nor is he ashamed, or feel guilty and even his anger he blames on someone else. The law of attraction doesn’t know if what it is attracted to is a lie or not, it responds to the vibrational level of the person. if that person is sick and has a distorted view of their value whether that distortion is good or bad, they will attract the vibration they send out to the world. Get it? The narcissist genuinely feels he deserves the best of everything, he does not doubt whether he should be given something, if he wants it he takes it whether it is given to him or not. If he loses it, he knows he will replace it, or he will manipulate someone into replacing it because he deserves it.

The narcissist is incapable of feeling guilt, shame or fear. The anger thing, well like I said he blames others for that and feels justified. But what about the high level emotions like Love, peace, joy and gratitude? isn’t the narcissist incapable of feeling love and joy? and he certainly never seemed grateful or at peace. once again if you think about it logically the narcissist thinks he is feeling love. The narcissist’s brain is wired differently than a normal person so when he meets a new victim his brain releases the same chemicals our brains do when we meet someone who we think we could love only he is excited because he sees a source of things he wants. He acts much like a person in love but what he is drawn to is the prospect of being able to suck in another prey and bleed them dry. It is intoxicating to the narcissist much like love is intoxicating to a normal person. Just like when we are falling in love we project our best selves so does the narc but his goal is to bleed us dry and ours is to prove we are worthy of his love. Once he has us hooked the thrill starts to wear off, he pulls away, we try harder, he needs new supply because we are no longer a challenge, we try harder, we become more committed to the relationship and that signals to him that he has us and so we no longer provide the ego boost he needs and he must find a new source (plus he is depleting our physical and material worth all along). When he meets a new source of supply once again those chemicals are released into his brain and he acts like he is in love but in actual fact he is energized by the thrill of the kill. He goes off sending off high level vibrations and leaves us depleted and sending off low vibrations.

law of attraction

That is why he will keep coming back, if his new source is not as strong as us and depletes quickly or we start to recover and start vibrating at a higher level again he is drawn back to us because once again we have something for him to feed off of.

The narcissist is such an anomaly that even the law of attraction is fooled by him. The narcissist is a freak, handicapped, incomplete, a screw up of nature, but has learned to adapt in the world and that is why it is so hard to make sense of what they do. They will never make sense and the rules of the world don’t apply to them, or so it seems, unless you look deeper than the obvious. That is why they can literally get away with murder, they defy all the laws of nature and “how things are supposed to work” .

I am really excited about this new perspective and I have so much more to share!.

Some victims are happy to discover what they were/are dealing with and content with blaming the narcissist and going on with life filled with anger, hurt and resentment, blaming the narcissist for the rest of their lives and wondering why, even though they know the signs of a narcissist they keep attracting them and why nothing ever seems to go right in their lives; and that is fine.

But for the victims who want to truly heal, find inner peace and joy, vibrate at a higher level and attract good things into their lives the workshop I am working on is the place to start.

I will be posting more information on it at the end of the week, so stay tuned.