Tag Archives: Pick Up Lines

Lines used by men to pick up women

Oh So Ya Wanna Hear?

Well, last Saturday was a pretty shitty day all in all. I was going to do the flea market. (I found these really cool clothing display racks behind the mall in Langley, I would put a picture if my camera worked on my new phone, but that’s another issue and I’m already juggling 2 and not even done the first paragraph! Any way that’s where I met Tyler, a homeless guy that I disrupted when I went to look at these racks. Nice young fellow, been on the streets since he was about 13, he’s 21 now. But I’ll give him his own post later.)

Where was I? Oh right, the clothing display racks that fold up so neat, perfect for someone who sells clothes at the flea market. So I was loading them and other stuff for the flea market Saturday and I got a call from a guy who saw my ad selling my other truck, the 91 GMC. He knows the truck from seeing me at Amix, he has cash and he wants to buy it. So I spend my last $20 on fuel to get down to Surrey and he doesn’t show up. I didn’t have enough fuel to get home, hadn’t had a smoke since 9 in the morning cuz I was out and broke.

I made it to the flea market and every one is starting to pack up so I pulled right in beside an old friend who I just ran into last week after 6 years. Oh! Yeah! I wanted to talk to him because last weekend when I ran into him he had said there was an empty RV spot where he lives and I think I can get a fixer upper trailer for free. Another side issue I’ll discuss at another time.

Annyyyywaaaay, this guy walks up and asks if I am setting up to sell and I said no, I want to talk to my friend and see if he wants to buy one of these racks off me. He said how long are you going to be and I said I didn’t know; was there a problem?

He said if I was setting up to sell I had to pay $10, I said I wasn’t selling, every one is packing up.

My friend didn’t want the racks and neither did anyone else but a woman walked past and liked a big picture frame I had on the truck so I sold it to her for $10 and took the dogs for a long walk. When I got back there was a pizza box stuck on my windshield with a note written on it from that guy, saying I owed him $10 because I sold something. Oh for the love of God!  now my friend was upset because the guy came down on him about me selling something. Sheeeesh now I probably won’t get the RV site. Oh well.

I put the $10 into fuel for my truck and headed to Mission, I was going down the road where all the 2nd hand stores are and one was open, Belle’s, she’s been around forever and has a little bit of everything in her store. It is much too crowded for the clothing racks but I had a few old window frames, and an old typewriter she bought for $20.  I told the kids Momma’s got money!!!

I think they thought I said let’s go for a walk because they got up and were wagging their tails looking at me expectantly. I told them first Momma has to buy smokes. I pulled into a little plaza at the end of town, there’s a corner store and a liquor store there. I was going to back into my parking stall but there was a nice looking grey car with two men in it who had just left the liquor store leaving so I motioned for them to go ahead and I’d wait. I went in and bought myself 1 Mike’s Hard Lemonade and a pack of smokes and then took the puppies for a good long walk to the other end of town and back. Kato was dragging his butt at the end so I left him behind and got the truck. My phone was ringing but I was too busy getting Kato in the truck to answer and forgot to even check for a message. Then I got a text message that said……
Mysteryman- Just saw you at liquor store. You married? Attached?
Me – I’m single. I don’t remember seeing anyone at the liquor store.
MM – silver car, you were backing in, then I saw you walking. Anyway I liked what I saw! 🙂
Me – oh ok thank you walking:)
MM – Buy you a drink?
Me – That would be nice.
MM – xxxxxx Pub 9? Or somewhere else…..
Me – oh! You meant tonight! I have plans tonight.
MM – My name is xxxxxx and I never contacted anyone like this before. Very spur of the moment. Your number was on your door.

MM – Another time then?
Me – Hi xxxxxx lol sure you’ve never done this before that’s what they all say! Just kidding. I’ve never done been asked out like this before either. Another time would be great. Do you live locally?

MM – I do and usually quite shy Haha what’s your name Lady Witha Truck?
Me – Oh I thought you would have gotten that off the truck too. It’s Carrie.
MM – wasn’t looking much at the truck.
MM – what are you doing tonight? I know you got beer. So do I!
Me – I bought Mike’s and I’m going to a girlfriends to get silly.
MM – you already sound silly. Text me on your way home. We can have a drink under the stars. PS come home early!
Me – lol I don’t take orders well. Besides early is subjective.
MM – lol !! I like that. Try me anyway.
Two hours later.
MM – offer for beer under the stars still stands. Unless it rains. 🙂

I was at my g/f’s until almost 4 am. So of course I didn’t text him; doubt I would have even if I would have been early. I certainly wasn’t going to ditch my g/f for a drink with a stranger. (I wouldn’t ditch a g/f for any guy, that’s rude)

I was very complimented though. I haven’t heard from him since. The thing for him to have done was ask me out a day or two ahead. So I guess that’s that.

But it put a smile on my face and I think I must look ok in my skinny jeans. LOL. Maybe I still got it?

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Why Was I Attracted To The Narcissist ?

Not long ago a fellow named Tom commented on my page, “Playing With The Cards I’m Dealt”

He said that the victims have to look at their part in the relationship especially what attracted them to the narcissistic and why they stayed, like Tom said, “the guy didn’t pack you off, tie you up and keep you prisoner.” That is a very common opinion of people who have never experienced abuse first hand. It is a factual statement, none of us were physically shackled.

It is true that some women get involved with one abusive man after another and they really do need to look at what they are getting from that type of relationship.

But, correct me if I am wrong; most women who have been in a relationship with a narcissistic/psychopath had never been in an abusive relationship before. I am not saying the victim has no responsibility in the relationship; as I said in my Last Letter of Thanks To JC, I take responsibility for the relationship going on far too long.

So I thought I’d share in a little more detail how JC and I met and why I was so attracted to him.
I was building to that with my posts about the baby I gave up for adoption in 1975, my first husband’s motorcycle accident and my son, Kris’s birth and then got sidetracked. I really hate to leave things 1/2 done and Tom’s question has motivated me to wrap it all up.

First of all I wanted to finish up the story about my first marriage, Victor got out of the trauma unit and was in a ward for another 2 1/2 months. When he came home he still required alot of care, dressing changes, etc. He didn’t remembered any of his time in ICU. I was drained and needed nurturing myself, Victor just could not understand. My dream to have a baby I could keep and bring home to a loving family had been dangled in front of me and then snatched when Victor had his accident.
I needed to go back to work, Victor burying himself in booze, I just couldn’t handle it and we split up. We carried a torch for each other for many years and I knew I would never love anyone like I had loved Victor, in my heart he was my one true love. When Kris was 2 they couldn’t hold off any longer and I had to have a hysterectomy. I remarried, twice; the first time I knew I didn’t really love the guy but he was good to Kris and Kris needed a daddy ,(stupid of me to marry someone for that reason I know that now) before our 1st anniversary we were split because the guy wanted me to ship Kris off to his dads. I married again years later and won’t bore you with the details, but we still keep in touch and probably should have just been friends and never married.

Through the years after my first marriage broke up I went to counselling to deal with issues from my childhood, I took effective communication courses, joined a gym and over came an eating disorder, basically I worked on myself.

I had worked very hard and by 1998, at the age of 40 had $20,000 in retirement saving, a $200,000 beautiful home and an excellent credit rating. Due to circumstances beyond my control, some stupid choices on my part, a bad economy and my ex I lost everything and was starting over at 42.

I had been dating a bit, had a profile on POF but hadn’t met anyone I wanted to continue seeing and had made the decision to just be single for awhile and had not accepted any more dates. There was one fellow, a lawyer, who was very persistent about wanting to meet so I agreed to meet him for a drink. He had sent his picture but I had deleted it and only had a vague idea what he looked like. I didn’t want to admit I had deleted his picture and figured we were meeting on a Wednesday evening, how many guys would be single in the bar and looking like they were looking for someone? I was sure I’d be able to pick him out.

I had come from booking the staff Christmas party at a nice restaurant and went to wait for him at the agreed upon bar. He was stuck in traffic so I ordered a glass of wine, then another, he still hadn’t arrived so I went out on the patio to have a smoke, keeping my eye on the door should he walk in. Then a nicely dressed fellow walked in, jeans, nice crisp white shirt, black leather bomber type jacket, glasses, short tight curly hair; and he was scanning the room like he was looking for someone. I thought to myself, “He’s much better looking than I had thought.” I started to walk in his direction, I knew I was looking good. I had on a short tight skirt, 3 inch pumps that made me 6’2″ I had long sun bleached hair that I kept in a style my brother called my “FF look” (freshly fucked ) I was smiling, our eyes met and he smiled back. It must be him I thought and started to put my arms out to give him a hug but just before I got to him I realized, no!! it can’t be him! This guy is much younger and I turned and went to sit at my table. I felt like an idiot, the guy must be wondering what the hell was that all about? I was looking out the window wishing the mother ship would beam me out of there when I heard,”can I buy you a drink or are you waiting for. someone?” I turned and was looking at a man’s crotch, my eyes travelled up catching a glimpse of a slightly hairy chest where his shirt was undone, I could feel myself starting to blush and as our eyes met I stammered I was waiting for someone. He smiled and said,” I figured as much but I had to ask, have nice night” and went back to his table. “Nice bum” I thought.

I had to use the washroom and walked past his table on the way, he smiled, and kinda gave me a little wave, he seemed sort of shy. I walked past him again going back to my table but I turned and went back to his table.
Me; “I think I owe you an explanation as to why I almost hugged you and then walked away and sat down.” so I explained the whole story of how I was on this internet dating site and I was meeting this guy, had thrown his picture away and he looked like he was looking for someone but I realized he was much younger etc. We had a couple of laughs and he said something about he had been thinking about trying an online dating site but didn’t have a computer. I said I hadn’t had much luck so far and had decided to give it a rest and then I went and sat down.

When my date still hadn’t shown up I went for another smoke and had to walk past the nice bum guy again, we exchanged smiles. On my way back to my table as I walked past him he said, “I hope you’ll call me if the date doesn’t work out” and handed me a piece of paper with his number on it. Just as I am taking the paper from his hand (nice strong hands that showed he wasn’t afraid of a hard days work), my date walked in.

XAwkward!

My date was a self centered blowhard that talked loudly, bragged about all his possessions, how much money he made, and how important he was.  He put a price tag on everything and complained loudly when the food was a little slow coming. We had ordered appetizers and of course he had eaten better somewhere else. I was bored out of my mind and left as soon as possible. He was the kind of guy I would have called a narcissist at that time and a complete turn off. He seemed surprised when he said he’d call me and I said not to bother. I thanked him for dinner and hightailed it out of there. If I had been undecided about getting out of POF  this guy settled it; I was done with online dating. I had met guys who were still living with their mother, guys who were “separated” but still living with their wife, guys who spent the whole night talking about what a bitch their ex was, guys looking to get lucky, guys looking for someone to cook and clean for them, I’d met psychos who fell in love on the first date and got jealous because I looked up when a guy walked in. One guy accused me of meeting a guy in the bathroom. Another guy I had only talked to on the phone wanted to come over at 11 pm and when I said no he lost it and started screaming at me, then called back to apologize and say he was grumpy because he had just quit smoking and I told him to start again. I had met guys who, even though we had met in person still wanted to chat on the internet instead of just calling and talking.

I just wanted to meet a normal hard working guy who didn’t have little kids, and didn’t have a bunch of baggage.

When I got home my son asked how it went and I told him the guy was a loser and then told him about the guy that gave me his number. My son said, “Call him”.
I said that he looked alot younger than me. My son said,”Mom, all my friends think your a milf.”
Me: “Kris!”
Kris: “Its true mom. Maybe you need to date someone younger, call him, what have you got to lose?”
Me: “Really ? You think I should call? Is it too late? Its almost 10.
Kris getting exasperated now:  “Call!!!!”
Me: “ok!! I’ll call I’ll call.”

So I called. It rang twice and he picked up.
Me: “Hi, its Carrie calling. I don’t know if you remember me, you gave me your number tonight at the bar?”
Him laughing: “I remember. How did your date go?”
Me: ” I’m calling aren’t I.”

How To Not Date A Narcissist

So many sites I’ve visited about narcissists give a list of characteristics that by the time you pick up on them you are in too deep; he has you hooked already.

Prior to getting involved with JC I had what would be considered a stereotypical view of what a narcissist was like. I think many people have the same views I did; that a narcissist is some guy who is full of himself in obvious ways, such as; he is vain and always looking in a mirror, primping his hair etc, talks about himself incessantly, a “lady killer” “lady’s man” what ever you want to call a guy that has women flocking around him, flexing, arrogant, but, all in all harmless enough.

Most people feel they could pick a narcissist out of a crowd no problem. What they envision is a cartoon character narcissist, staring into a mirror and falling in love with himself.

My first impression of JC was far from that; in fact the first 6 months were some of the best times of my life; I was in love and believed with all my heart that he felt the same if not more than I did. We just “clicked”.

At first meeting I thought that he was kinda preppy, university educated, that he had money but he wasn’t concerned with impressing people with it (he drove a BMW but was wearing runners that he had taped up the toe, he had on a crisp white shirt and faded ripped jeans). He seemed confident yet not arrogant in any way. He had a great sense of humor and laughed at something I said. He put me at ease right away and listened intently to what I had to say and asked me about myself. When he did offer up information about himself he seemed almost self conscious and down-played his accomplishments. He seemed humble, trusting, and almost naïve “in a boy from Saskatchewan kinda way”. I thought I had finally met “one of the good ones” and I was impressed. He introduced me to his friends from school and took me to his staff Christmas party, took me home to meet his mom within the first month. He was kind, even tempered, the guy never got angry about anything, we were able to discuss anything openly and I thought honestly. I didn’t see him angry for almost the full first year.

So what would have given him away? I am about to share that with you and here we go; each of these points by themselves would not be cause for alarm but if he has a majority of them I’d say cut your losses and run! Don’t look back.

1) The number one thing they all have in common and should be a HUGE red flag is the whirlwind romance. From the first date he is enamored with you and can’t get enough of you. With JC I actually told him to back off a bit, that he was going to scare me away because I liked my alone time. He called me at work several times a day, wanted to see me every night and I lived and worked an hour and 1/2 from him and had my son at home so I couldn’t but he would pressure me. Then if I said no he’d offer to meet me 1/2 way and take me for dinner. If I was at his place and he was going to the corner store he’d want me to come along; he wanted me along with him every where he went. He wrote me little love notes all the time, bought me flowers. I felt uncomfortable about it sometimes but I had walked away from nice guys before and wasn’t going to do that this time.

2) Wants sex early like the first or second date and won’t take no for an answer. You almost have to get angry for him to back off and he can’t seem to get enough sex. Again many guys want sex the first or second date, but on our 3rd date, I went to his place and he literally attacked me the minute I walked through the door. I laughed and said, “How about a glass of wine first?” He poured me a glass but I never got to drink it.

3) He thinks you are perfect and he loves you just the way you are. No one is perfect and if he puts you on a pedestal too early you’ve only got one way to go-….down…… hard.
It was early in our relationship maybe 6 months into it, we’d just started living together and I was overwhelmed. I was commuting 2 hours a day for work, he was unemployed and home all day because he had lost his license for 3 months due to an impaired charge.(Red flag) I would come home and the place would be a mess, dirty dishes, car parts in the sink, dirty clothes and I’d have to clean the kitchen before I could cook dinner. We had talked before I moved in about division of work and agreed if we were both working we would share the house keeping duties. Here he wasn’t working, spending all day on the computer, making a mess and I was coming home and doing it all. One night I started to cry and said that I couldn’t do it all. He took me to bed and held me stroking my hair and said, “Don’t be so hard on yourself, I love you just the way you are.”

I said, “That’s the problem, I can’t keep doing this, this isn’t me. I don’t want to do it all”

He just kept saying I was being too hard on myself and we ended up having sex and nothing got resolved.

He loved me if I was doing things his way. We would discuss issues as they came up and I would think we had resolved them but nothing would change.

4) He is too good to be true, his life is larger than life, he’s done more than any guy you know. He makes it sound like he carries the load at work, is top of his class in school, did everything in his last relationship and she did nothing but sit around eating bon bons and demanding more money. JC had a way of bragging where he seemed he was embarrassed to tell me things about himself that made it appear like he was being honest.

Remember too, pictures are not proof of anything. JC had pictures of all the cars he’d owned, all his semi trucks, places he’d travelled, his guitars, houses he’d owned, and he had diplomas for all the trades he said he had tickets in (he wasn’t ticketed in any trades). Diplomas can be downloaded off the internet, he even printed off a list of racing stats that had his name on it showing his racing stats from several years prior when he owned a race car (all fake), and pictures only prove he knows how to use a camera.
When we were getting to know each other he shared stuff about his past that I believed for the whole 10 yrs I knew him and didn’t find out the truth until after we split.

It is a special kinda hurt to know you never knew the person you loved and lived with for 10 yrs; they were a lie from start to finish.

5) He says he loves you within a week or two. Let’s be honest real love doesn’t happen in a matter of days, it takes months. JC was holding me after sex and got tears in his eyes, pulled my head down on his chest so I couldn’t see him “crying” and in a choked voice said, “I think I’m falling in love with you”. I was so touched, he had told me saying I love you wasn’t something he said easily and he cried. Awwwww one day I arrived at his place and he put a CD in and danced with me to a love song and he cried and said he loved me. I believed him and I actually believed he loved me more than I loved him.

In the past if a guy came on too strong or seemed to be totally “smitten” with me it usually turned me right off. I can remember with JC making the conscious decision to allow a man to love me and take care of me like he said he wanted to. I chose to allow myself to relax and enjoy the good thing I’d found. I think that could be part of the reason I am struggling so hard; I chose to love him and I was so wrong.

6) If he is broke and has nothing because he was taken advantage of by his last girlfriend/wife and all his ex’s are psycho bitches, RUN!! Think about it; either he has really bad taste in women, is a wimp who won’t stand up for himself or he turns women into psycho bitches; either way you don’t want him.

7) He expects you to be available and will pressure you to drop your plans to spend time with him at the last minute. ie: He asked me out on a Friday night, I went down to his place and spent the night. I was getting ready to leave Saturday and he was upset I was leaving. I told him I had plans and he talked me into changing my plans and staying. Another time we had plans and then his mother came to town and he said I had to go because he wanted to spend time with his mom. I understood and drove the 1 1/2 hrs home only to have him phone a couple of hours later and ask me to come back. I believe he was testing me to see if I would do it or not and how I would handle it. I did end up going back, but I spoke to him about it and told him I wasn’t impressed, he apologized and I thought I got my feelings heard. But it was just the start of him controlling me.

8) Pushes you to move in together within a few months but will try to make it seem like your idea. ie: he hates to have to leave you and go out of town to work but he can’t afford to live otherwise.

9) He doesn’t have any “history” you can verify; ie: he’s new to town, doesn’t have any long time friends, new job or just lost his job, family in another town. JC was new to the area and apparently when he breaks up with a girl he invariably leaves the immediate area, he was always starting new jobs. But when I met him he was just finishing up school in water/sewer technology.

10) Within a short time needs to borrow money that he will pay right back, his money is tied up, or its a deal that’s going to make you money, whatever the excuse; don’t lend any man money unless you’ve known him at least a year; make sure he can keep a job long enough to pay you back. At first he wines and dines you, money doesn’t seem to be a problem and next thing you know he’s asking to borrow a few bucks. He will pay you back right away; he’s building your trust for when he asks for the big bucks.
(JC asked me to borrow money several times in the first few months; once for a thousand to buy a car he could resell for twice that: I said no. Then he wanted money for his cell phone bill and I said no. He said it was that high from calling me and I said, “stop calling so much”. Money became the biggest issue between us; he always said I owed him money for something. It got to the point that if he wanted to give me something I had to ask, “Is this a gift or are you going to expect me to pay you for it later? Because if I have to pay for it I can’t afford it and don’t want it; if it is a gift then thank you very much”. ie: he talked me into buying a different car and then wanted to put his stereo and wheels and tires on my car. I refused, saying, “what if we break up and then you will want your stereo and wheels and tires back and then what will I do?”
His reply with a hurt expression on his face was, “Baby, we aren’t going to break up and if we did anything I give you is yours to keep.” I wish I would have listened to my gut and stuck to my initial instinct to say no; I heard about owing him for those wheels and tires for years until I finally sold the car to pay him for them and even then after I said, “Now, am I paid up?” And he said yes he found something else I owed him money for)

11) He is very protective of his privacy, guards his cell phone, hides the computer screen when you walk in, makes private phone calls in another room. I had no idea JC was seeing a woman when he met me; I found out 8 years later when he told me he would go down to his car and make sure she hadn’t left him any cards or letters on the windshield of his car. He had told me he wasn’t seeing any one. One time only about a month after we met we were leaving his place and he said he’d meet down at the car. I waited for a while and then went back to see what was taking him so long and overheard him on the phone say, “OK Babe, nightie night.” I said, “Babe?” (He had called me Babe since our 2nd date) he looked startled and said, “Did I say Babe? That was my sister, Geezz I call every one babe”.

Me: Everyone?

Him: Well it slips out sometimes but haven’t you noticed when I say it to you my voice changes?

If you make him wait a year before living together, or giving him money and if he keeps his job and doesn’t get in trouble with the law, and if you don’t catch him in a lie in a year I would say you can be pretty certain he isn’t a narcissist. There is no way a narcissist can keep the facade going for that long without some how slipping up. Beside he will have moved on to an easier target within a few months.

12) He makes it sound like he wants to be a better person because of you. He is going to change any of his short comings because you are so wonderful you motivate him to be a better person.

Don’t let him pressure you into doing anything your gut is telling you not to.

Keep your friendships, and listen to your friends if they feel uneasy about him for some reason. Friends have clear heads, yours is clouded by this all consuming love.

You must be strong; they are master manipulators and will try every trick in the book, including injuring themselves, spying on you, and trying to turn family and friends against you or you them.

JC didn’t start to exhibit the abusive behaviour until we were together at least 6 months and it didn’t get physical until about a year and 1/2 into the relationship. But believe me the emotional abusive, control and manipulation started on the first date.

I guarantee you will not be sorry or another one of his victims if you take it slow and easy. A truly healthy love takes time and an emotionally healthy man will give you and the relationship time to grow.

Here’s to narcissist free dating.

Posted by Carrie the Lady Witha Truck

Lessons On How To Be An Jerk

A few months ago I Googled “How to seduce a woman” to see what would come up. I was appalled at how many web sites are out there on how to get any woman into bed.

I used a generic email address and pretending to be a male joined one site to see what kind of material they would send.

Following is a typical title of one of the newsletters I get weekly.

“How to Manipulate The Target’s Friends To Your Advantage”

They always refer to the woman as the “target” which is insulting enough but then they go on to describe in detail how to manipulate a woman’s nature instincts in your favor; guaranteeing that if you follow their instructions you will get laid.

These aren’t simple dating instructions telling guys how to dress or how to treat a woman in order to get her interest it is strictly how to get laid the quickest way possible.

Years ago JC was printing something off of the internet and didn’t realize the printer had run out of paper it hadn’t finished printing. He went to work, I went to print something and low and behold what should print out but an instruction manual on how to get any woman into bed.

When I confronted him on it he said it was for business. Business? What kind of business? He said the techniques were the same as you would use in closing a business deal. Don’t worry; I didn’t shallow that one. (He wasn’t always good at thinking on his feet) but I let it go when he threw all the pages away.

A year later when I was trying to close a drawer in the bathroom and it wouldn’t close all the way I took the drawer out to see what was stopping it from closing and what should appear? Nope not 8 tiny reindeer! Ok, I’ll tell you. The entire book on “How to Get Any Woman into Bed” which was about 100 pages AND a dozen porn magazines.

He blamed the porn on the previous owner’s teen age son’s but he just shrugged off the seduction book. I threw it out and damned if it didn’t reappear a few months later in his brief case. I never did get to read the whole thing but from what I did read I could recognize some of the tactics he had used on me.

Most of what these courses teach guys is to keep the woman guessing. Treat her like shit but give her just enough to keep her hooked. Come on sweet and loving and then not call when you said you would or ignore her and pay attention to her friends more.

Don’t compliment her much in fact one said to criticize her in a subtle “joking” way.

Anyway, there have always been a$$holes in the world and books on seduction but now it is at the finger tips of every man and teenage boy out there. I think that is what bothers me the most, before the internet this kind of information wasn’t available to a young guy. I raised my son to treat women with respect and if I ever saw him do otherwise I brought him up on it.

Like the one time I caught him sneaking a young girl into his room. Teenagers think adults are deaf, dumb, and stupid. I was upstairs in the bathroom and heard the back door open and the whispers and giggles of Kris and a girl. I waited a short while and then went down to his room and knocked on his bedroom door.

Him, “What?”
Me, “Can I come in?”
Him, “I’m having a nap Mom”.
Me, ” A nap? Are you sick, I should come in and make sure you don’t have a fever”
Him, “I’m fine Mom”
Me, “Come open the door Kris”
Him, “Maaawmmm”
Me, “Kris, open the damn door, NOW”
He opened the door and I can see he’s excited to have company.
Me, “You and your little friend can come upstairs and talk to me.”
Him looking rather sheepish, “ok mom”.
I went upstairs waiting in the family room and I saw him walking the girl to the gate and called them both in and made them sit down. I caught the “eye roll” at each other.

I asked to be introduced to the girl and recognized the name to be a girl he had talked about who had the hots for him and he wasn’t interested in, in the least.

I said, “do you guys know why I am upset?” And they shook their heads.

I said, “I have been a single mom for most of Kris’s life and he has seen me get hurt by men. I have always told you Kris, I expect you to be honest with a woman and to treat her with respect” He nodded.

I went on, ” I don’t think you are being honest with this young lady and that disappoints me. And you my dear” looking at the young girl. “You don’t ever have to have sex with a guy to get him, you have to have enough respect for yourself to not give it up just to get the guy; because in the long run they will use you and dump you. I am not saying you have to wait until you’re married or even that you have to love each other. But Kris, you have to be honest about your intentions. And to the girl I said, “I had a baby at 16 and gave it up for adoption; you don’t want to go through that believe me. But more than that, if you don’t respect your body and your value no one else will”.

Then I dismissed them. Kris walked her out and then came back and apologized to me for his behaviour. I told him he didn’t have to apologize but I wanted him to think about it.

It is the only time I stepped in and gave my son shit for how he treated a woman. I have always been proud of the respect he shows women his whole life.

But what happens with the boys that aren’t taught how to treat a woman and the only instruction they get is off the internet?

Just my thoughts.

Posted by Carrie the Lady Witha Truck using WordPress for BlackBerry.

This is one of the trailers available for free

This is one of the trailers available for free

Well, I am supposed to out of here in two days, I’ve done some packing but the place is so small the boxes are getting in the way and I can’t pack much more until I move. The only real problem I have is; I have no where to move to.

As I have said before, they are closing the trailer park and it is possible to get a mobile home for free; you just have to move it out of here and find a place to put it. The big problem is there aren’t any trailer parks willing to take them because they are all too old. I was telling a customer this and he gave me the number of a friend of his “S” who had just bought some acreage in Mission (a town about 20 minutes from me) I have customers in Mission so that would be ok. I waited for a couple of days and then called “S” and told him my dilemma; he got really excited because he had wanted to put a mobile on his property for his daughter and one for possibly storage. I asked if he knew how to set it up, hook it up to septic or whatever and he seemed to have it all under control, he knew an electrician, and he had the perfect spot to put it. I asked if he would mind if I came out to see the site and he said sure, I could come the next night when he got home from work. The next night it was 7:30pm when he got home and we talked on the phone, I asked where exactly his place was and it is ½ way between Mission and Agassiz.

I Googled Abbotsford to his address and it is 40km and takes 50 minutes to get there. For those of you who don’t know the area (most of you) it is out in the country, WAY out in the country. Agassiz can hardly be called a town, and Mission is red neck territory, I would be 2 hours from Vancouver. I said I would wait until the next day because it was already getting dark, he said to come any way, we could have coffee and he had lots of other things he could show me. I said that I was interested in seeing where the trailer would go and I can’t do that in the dark and he said, “Its all good, come out anyway”. I headed out but got to the edge of town and thought, “What the hell am I doing? Driving to some place I’ve never been, to go into the home of a man I have never met, and no one even knows I am going.” At least in the day light I can see, and I can be outside with Kato near by, so I called and said I wasn’t coming, it was too late.

Then I couldn’t get off the phone, he was telling me that he had talked to me when I had my Ford (I talk to lots of people and I don’t remember). I had told him I drove an old GMC, he asked what happened to the Ford and I said it was a long story but basically it needed too many repairs and I traded it for the GMC.

He told me he can fix anything and he can get a 3 ton truck for free and fix it up for me and put a crane on it. I asked for his email address and said I would email him pictures of the trailers that were available and we would try to meet up in a couple of days.

I got home and the phone rang, it was him again. He said he’d been putting my email address in and accidentally called me, but then he didn’t get off the phone. He was going on about how he would fix my GMC, and he’s got this and he’s got that and if he doesn’t have it he can fabricate it. I am listening cautiously because for one thing he was sounding like another JC to me. He is a welder (just like JC), heavy duty mechanic (like JC), and fabricator (like JC), has all these cars, trucks etc (like JC), wants to “help” me (like JC) and is the best at what he does (like JC). Then he was telling me how he is a quiet guy, doesn’t go to the bars, used to do drugs and drink in his younger days but not any more, that he is a Christian, how he loves dogs, and he thinks it’s great that I haul scrap. He was saying some men don’t think a woman should be doing something like that or that a woman can do the job but he really respects me for doing it. I started to feel like I was applying for the position of girlfriend not tenant. I finally had to lie and say the dogs wanted out in order to get off the phone.

So I am supposed to be going out there today to check this place out and I am not rushing out the door. I am telling myself I should go and at least check it out; I don’t have a lot of options.

The Pros
No one would bitch about my truck
Room for the dogs to run and lots of places to go for walks with them
A place I can put a trailer and I could do what I’ve wanted to do for a long time and that is; see if I can create a home without spending money.

For years I have wanted to challenge myself to make a comfortable, attractive home using other people’s discarded materials and see if I can do it for little or no money. This could be my opportunity to do that. I would document my progress through my blog, take before, during and after pictures and journal what I learn along the way. I really get excited at the thought of doing it and that is swaying me big time towards moving there.
BUT I still have reservations about it.

The Cons
40 km away from the nearest town
In winter the roads would be bad
Added expense of fuel
An added 1 ½ hours to my work day
I would be reliant on him if my truck broke down because I am so far out of the area where I have several friends who can help me out.

I feel uncomfortable because he doesn’t even know me and he’s talking about giving me all this stuff and said something about “who knows I could even be his friend” as if it was a special privilege.

I have to go to work, and I’ll think about it some more today. I have to make money before I can do anything.

I just don’t want to move all the way out there and find out I’ve jumped from the frying pan into the fire, I don’t want to have to move again for a long time. Damn I hate not having options and I hate that I am thinking, “But he said he could fix up that 3 ton for you”. Then the other little voice is saying, “Yeah and what kind of strings will be attached, I have never had a man do anything for me without wanting sex.” And that my friends is a topic for another post another day.

Posted by Carrie the Lady Witha Truck using WordPress for BlackBerry.