Tag Archives: Prayer

image

Is it any wonder I don’t want to leave? Who could possibly be depressed when they look out their back door and see this? I keep praying for some miracle that allows me to stay.
As much as I say God has a plan and I can accept whatever happens the thought of leaving here breaks my heart.
I came here with a broken soul and spirit, unhealthy physically & mentally. I spent the last year healing; from all JC did, losing my little buddy, Laila, myself.
One year exactly after coming here I feel almost complete. I wandered around in a daze most of last year, I didn’t care about the people around me. I just wanted peace, serenity and time. Time away from stress, pain and conflict. JC had other plans for me. The sign of a truly sick individual. When they have found “the love of their life” and are “living their life free to be themselves and be happy”, yet still feel the need to destroy their ex’s possibility of having some peace in their life.
That is sick, evil, beyond selfish and such a sure indication that they are disordered; and to further prove how sick they are; they feel justified in doing it.
For one thing a healthy person would not try to destroy their ex’s future happiness no matter what they did and for another thing; if they did and are a changed person (like they profess to be) they would admit to it and apologize for it.
Proof that they never change no matter what they loudly profess.
Anyway, after a year here I find I have stopped wishing I could be my old self again and realized I am, only a little more cautious and a lot more appreciative.
Yesterday I went for a walk and people I hardly noticed last year are calling out “nice day”, “stop by for a drink”, “love your dog”. I stood on the street talking to 2 neighbor ladies for almost an hour. I loaned a hand rake to the fellow who lives across the street. Talked to a couple with a dog. Chatted with my neighbor Terry and the guy doing work on a place two does down and they both played with Stella. I worked in the yard, sprayed the neighbor’s yappy dogs with the garden hose (that my neighbor Terry installed for me for free. He put an outside faucet in for me and gave me the hose)
Neighbors doing nice things for each other, ages 30 to 86.
I built a fire and watched the sunset. I felt a little lonely, I actually went into a dating site for people over 50 and saw some men I wouldn’t mind meeting. I have been in dating sites before but never even had the slightest desire to meet any of the men and yesterday there were at least a dozen. Not ready to do anything about it yet but the thought of it doesn’t make me nauseous. Haha
God, I pray you find a way for me to stay. Amen

There is life and light after the narcissist, I promise! Hugs Carrie

I’ve been talking about answered prayers lately and tiny miracles that happen every day and some bigger miracles I have witnessed, but what about when God doesn’t answer your prayers or not the way you wanted him to answer?

Getting baptized in English Bay Vancouver BC with my son by my side

Getting baptized in English Bay Vancouver BC with my son by my side

My faith continued to grow stronger, JC went through phases, he would be one way with one person and a totally different person with someone else. Throughout the 10 years JC and I were together it seemed God would put special people into our lives, we had miracles happening all around us and his adoptive mother always said God had a special plan for JC. After we moved to Mission and  JC started driving gravel truck he came home late one night all excited about meeting a pastor from close to where he had grown up. He was going on and on about how we would join the church, some thing he had promised many times. I started attending the church, I coaxed JC into going once and the pastor had cried to see JC walk in with me. Mind you he had cried any time he saw me walk through the door without JC. He told me that he knew he was sent to Mission to save JC and he felt he had failed. The pastor, Pastor Jim, had a race car that he raced at the Mission Raceway Park where JC was the burn out box director, the church had a band and needed guitar players and JC played the guitar. If there was ever a pastor who could get through to JC it would have been Pastor Jim. He did talk JC into going to couples group counseling that he and his wife were teaching and we went one time and JC refused to go again even though we had a really good time.

Pastor Jim told me one day that he had gotten the assignment to start a new church in Mission, a “new age” type church and they had moved to Mission the same month we did. When he hit town he looked for an office and found one on James Street. He said he knew that starting a church was not the full assignment and he was being sent to save one person, he just didn’t know who. But as soon as he met JC he knew. His wife Janet told me that every Sunday Pastor Jim would stare at the door hoping for JC to walk in and if he saw me his hopes would be lifted and if JC didn’t walk in he would cry. JC spent a lot of time with Pastor Jim because they had the common interest in cars and he would sell Pastor Jim parts etc and they would talk about God and JC would promise to go to church and then not show. I never talked to anyone about the abuse with JC, not my friends or family, Pastor Jim and his wife Janet were the only ones I told, after I had left JC because I wanted them to know and maybe help him. (yes that is not a typo, I was worried about JC and that he might kill another woman some day and yes I did go back to him after that)

I used to pray all the time for a sign from God as to whether I should stay or leave, JC would act like I was a one-night-stand that didn’t know when to leave and I felt so unwelcome. Just when I had enough and was ready to walk out the door something would happen and I would stay. JC would have a weak moment and cry and say how much he loved me, or he would injure himself and I would care for him, or some times he would be in trouble and I would bail him out or stick by him and he would be so grateful and he always promised he was going to turn over a new leaf and things would be different, but they never were.

There was one consistency throughout the 10 years, God always came through for me, my faith grew stronger, I grew stronger. I had my truck and was doing scrap metal, had my own place to live and my life was moving forward. I felt JC was holding me back and that I would never find happiness with him because every time I was with him there was so much drama and trauma. I was sick of JC’s antics, sick of him pissing people off, sick of having to move because of him, sick of him showing up at my door and crashing on my couch, sick of his personal ads, I had had enough.

That is when he decided he was going to volunteer to go to Africa, I wasn’t sure why he was doing it and kinda half expected he would never really go. I thought he was doing it because he knew I truly had had enough and he had to do something drastic to prove he was a changed man. Of course his adoptive mother was thrilled because she was always disappointed he didn’t live a more Christian life.

As the time for him to leave for Africa drew closer I softened, between talking to his mother who was so thrilled about what he was doing and it really appeared he was leaving because he sent his tools etc ahead; I thought I would see how things went in Africa and if he followed through it would be the most unselfish thing he had ever done and I would support him until it all played out.

While he was in Africa no contact was easy of course and it made being away from him so much easier, I thought of him but of course I didn’t know what he was doing while he was there. His mother would call and say she had heard from him and he told her to tell me he sent his love and missed me.

I wrote all about Africa and his return here http://wp.me/p1wKh3-rd

My mom and step dad called and said they would like to help me get a mobile home as part of my inheritance. I moved in July and wouldn’t let JC even stay the night, I knew my folks would flip if I did. In September he got a job in Red Deer and left, it was over between us.

It was 2008, scrap prices were the highest in history,  then the economy tanked in fall and prices dropped from $350 a ton to $80 a ton almost overnight. Every morning I prayed to make a certain amount of money and every day I got it. I would pray for a TV and I would either be given one or find one on the street somewhere. I started flirting back with a handsome young guy who had flirted with me for a couple of years and I had been committed to JC and not responded. I even went on a date.
I was making my payments to my folks and then in October my step-dad panicked and said we had to sell the trailer and he thought I should get a “real job”. Every morning I got a call for either my mom or my step dad badgering me to get a real job or go on welfare. It didn’t even make sense, I was able to make my payments hauling scrap; there was no way I could make my payments if I was on welfare and there was a 6 week waiting period for benefits and there were no jobs, unemployment was the highest it had been in decades. They suggested I get a job at the local gas station, like I could just go get a job when I wanted but I would have made minimum wage and could get laid off at the drop of a hat. I was going crazy!! so stressed I could not believe my parents were doing this. At least with scrap I could work 7 days a week and I was making my payments. They said that if they got a good price for it they would pay for my movers. Gee thanks, you can get them to move my stuff under the nearest overpass.

Dec 1 2008 I was featured on the cover of the financial section of The Province Newspaper for being a woman self-employed hauling scrap metal. The calls started coming in for work so fast there were days I did nothing but answer the phone.

JC started emailing me saying he was doing well, making good money etc and I didn’t respond to the first few and then on a particularly sad day I responded with a friendly reply. His next email was more loving.

I cooked Christmas dinner that year at my place and had my whole family and friends for dinner. While we were having dinner my mother mentions that her and my step dad are going on a cruise to Mexico for 8 weeks mid January. I said, “You are going to Mexico for 8 weeks? I didn’t know that” She looked rather sheepish, realizing what I must be thinking she said, “Well yes but it is a prior commitment.”

I didn’t say anything but I was thinking, “And what am I if not a prior commitment?”

I was heading out the door for work one morning and my land line was ringing; I decided not to take the call because I figured it was my mom or step-dad again and I just could not take it any more. But I heard the answering machine click on and I heard JC’s voice. I stopped dead in my tracks and then just before he hung up I ran and grabbed the phone.

We had a pleasant conversation and I told myself it meant nothing and went on with my day. I called him to ask him a question about scrap (just an excuse to talk to him again) we called back and forth for a couple of weeks, he got a transport truck and was getting back into trucking.  He had laid the groundwork and then came the call, he was crying, he had been given 6 months to live could he come out to BC and talk to me.

I have written about what happened next a few times so won’t now, you can read about it here http://wp.me/p1wKh3-rd

I of course was praying daily and God came through with a the job of a life time. While my folks were away I got a call from a man I had met through Pastor Jim, he had an excavating company and sold it; he needed all the scrap in his yard cleaned up in 4 days. It was so much I had to get other scrap haulers to come and get some of it, I made 2 trips a day for the 4 days and that month I made $7500. I was able to get caught up on all my bills, buy a new laptop and had the money in the bank for my payment to my folks when they got back from their trip. I thought for sure if they got back and I had managed to make my payments they wouldn’t make me sell. But my mom sent an email from the ship saying it was imperative I find a place to move before they got home.

I held off telling him about my folks selling my trailer because I didn’t want him to think I was needy but after two months of seeing each other and things going well I told him.

In the meantime I prayed for God to some how make it possible for me to buy a house. A small house and/or a fixer upper was fine. I prayed for a small yard big enough for a small flower garden, where I could have Kato. On water of some sort would be preferable and most importantly I said he would have to be really creative because I had no money and a lousy credit rating. I told JC about my prayer just in passing and let it go.

My folks sold the trailer at a $20,000 loss and I had two weeks to move. I had no idea where I was going to go. JC called from Alberta, he started the conversation with, “I don’t know why I am telling you this” and proceeded to tell me that he had been talking to a guy who had a house for sale in a place called Blaine Lake Saskatchewan and he only wanted $5000 for it and was willing to carry the mortgage for $200 a month. I immediately thought it was the answer to my prayers, I didn’t want to go to Sask but I hadn’t specified where I wanted the house to be and if God wanted me to go to Sask I would go to Sask. JC called to say he had been hired by a trucking company based in Sask and asked me to marry him.

I talked to my son about it and he said to go for it and I wasn’t even talking to my mom any more. My mom and step-dad were telling everyone that they were selling the trailer because I went back to JC, which was not the truth. The truth was that when they reneged on the trailer deal I thought, “all bets are off” and thought what the hell, I might as well give it a try and thought maybe it was God’s plan all along. Give JC and I time apart to figure out how much we really love and need each other. I put my faith in my parents and they bailed on me and left me worse off than I would have been if they hadn’t “helped” me, maybe it was all a sign JC and I were meant to be together.

I called the guy with the house and he seemed like a nice guy, he told me the place was completely furnished, had a fenced yard, and a small garden, it had been his mom’s house and she had died 6 years ago and the house had been empty ever since. He said he was sick of mowing the grass every week and decided to sell. I asked if he wanted me to send him some money and he said no just give him a call when I was heading out so he could go and air the place out before I got there. I told him I was giving away all my stuff except what I could fit on my truck. I talked to him about 5 days before I was heading out and everything was a go. He said to call when I was leaving, I could come by his house for supper and he would take me over to the house, as far as I knew I was driving by myself. I had told most of my customers I was leaving and to find someone else to haul their scrap but I had kept my biggest customers thinking I would come back every few weeks to haul their scrap because I made such good money it would be worth it and I didn’t want to let everything I had built up all at once,  Something (God) told me not to say anything yet.

I had worked every minute I could trying to make some money because I wouldn’t be working at first out there. Although JC had all these ideas of things I could do for work out there. JC had been short of money when he started trucking and I sent him money several times and he promised to pay me back when I got there,.

My truck broke down two days before I had to be out of the house and it was in the shop until moving day, and cost over $1000 to fix. I called the Realtor and told him there was nothing I could do about moving, I didn’t have enough money to get movers. JC called that day and I broke down, it was hot, I was exhausted, and he said, “don’t worry Babe, I’ll park the truck and hop on a plane and be there by tonight and I’ll help you move.” I couldn’t believe how sweet he was being, I was so relieved, he had never helped with a move I had always moved by myself even when we were together, but he took over and told me to rest he would load the truck.  I gave away all the furniture and only kept my keepsakes, clothes, Christmas decorations, a couple of lamps, my TV, radio, I gave away art work, patio furniture, entertainment unit, full dining suite, almost new couch and love seat, two fully furnished bedroom sets bistro table, so much stuff I just gave away.

He worked all night, and at 9:30 am the next day we were at the top of the road about to enter the freeway when he pulled the truck over and said, “You’d better call Rod.” I was planning on calling once we were on the road for a bit but I thought oh well I might as well call now.

I heard Ron say, “Hello.”

me- If Carrie, I’m called to say I am on my way.

Rod – Carrie………… I have good news and I have bad news.

me- what is it, what’s the good news?

Rod- I heard your truck was broken down and you don’t have to rush getting out here.

me- Well I got my truck fixed and that’s why I am calling, we are heading out now. What’s the bad news.

Rod- Well……………I guess I should have called you……………….

me- yes??

Rod- I went to the house to air it out and take some mementos out of there and a guy approached me and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. I sold the house. In my head I was screaming, “Oh my God what have a done???!!!!”

me- it would have been nice of you to call me before I gave away all my furniture.

I hung up and JC asked me what was wrong. I told him and he said, “Well you might as well take a couple of weeks and ride with me before you come back and figure out what you are going to do.”

I didn’t say it but I thought, “What do you mean a couple of weeks, you asked me to move to Sask and marry you, we’re in this together.”

I was numb, I could not believe it. I wasn’t sure but I swore I saw satisfaction on JC’s face and his whole attitude changed right before my eyes.

He asked if I was coming for a holiday for a couple of weeks and I responded – I guess so, I am homeless now.

We were down the road a few miles when he dug in his pocket and pulled out a slim gold band and tossed it in my direction saying, “I bought this a while back, you might as well have it now.”  The gold washed off in two days to reveal white plastic. When I told him he shrugged and said, “I guess I got sucked in again. I bought it when I was down south.”

Again I won’t bore you with the details

You can read excerpts from my journals here http://wp.me/p1wKh3-h5

After losing the house in Sask I lost my faith in God, how could he do that to me, I had been so sure it was the answer to my prayer. Now JC had me exactly where he wanted me, totally dependent without my family. So much happened that last two years we were together (I really have to write a book) but after I lost the house everything changed back to the way things had been before he went to Red Deer, in fact things were a lot worse and he kept saying, “You always did so well with out me”. After we split he would say that I always did well without him in my life any time I cried. I started to wonder if he was punishing me for being successful without him. I firmly believe that was the case now when I look back and now that I know all the lies he told through that time.

I went through hell after we split because he had made sure my truck wasn’t running, he had worked very hard to destroy my business and it almost destroyed me but somehow I managed to hang on and I am sure that pissed him off to no end. The whole first year and 1/2 was hell, I had no hope, I stopped praying, even if I did pray nothing happened but I think it was because I wasn’t believing when I prayed.

And THEN I called on the cabin at Hatzic; when I walked through the door of this cabin I let out a gasp; THIS was the house I prayed for!! and ever since I have been grateful, apologized to God for doubting him and life has unfolded in miraculous ways. Even finding money that I didn’t know I had from 1996 that made it possible to buy the cabin. The owners of the cabin happened to be the boss who fired JC from the resort and who had written ,me a lovely letter of reference when I moved away. Every step of the way was carefully orchestrated and fell into place; nothing short of a miracle.

I got the job at Ccon which enabled me to get into the cabin, JC called Ccon, lied and got me fired, but the time I worked there gave me enough hours to get disability when I had my 2nd heart attack. Then JC tried to get me kicked out of the park by placing phony complaints about me, twice he has tried to slander me through a blog he starts but every time he ends up closing the blog and there are no negative effects on me whatsoever.

Yes I always did better without JC in my life and even when he is trying to destroy me I do better without him, and I know why; because God intervenes on my behalf.

I know now that JC couldn’t handle it that I was successful without him and didn’t want him back so he lied about dying, he came back knowing my parents would disown me if I went back to him but he hadn’t counted on my parents handing me to him on a silver platter by making me sell the trailer. He must have gotten a real kick out of that. Then he orchestrated the house deal, I have no idea who I was talking to about the house, JC gave me the number to call, he must have been so proud of himself, he managed to strip me of everything in 6 months. There is no doubt in my mind that he came back to bleed me dry and then destroy me. How evil is that?? to waste 4 years of your life trying to destroy someone just because they had the nerve to be successful after you tossed them out.

praying handsWhen my son went into rehab at Union Gospel Mission on Cordova in the downtown east side of Vancouver he joined a church called Coastal Church where he was taken under the congregation’s protective wings. He found himself and God. He was baptized in English Bay one year and I was baptized a year later with him in the ocean right by my side, it was one of the most memorable days of my life.

When he was in the depths of his drug use and crime, he was lost to himself and to me. I had always been able to kiss it better, make the pain go away but this time I was lost and beside myself with fear, grief and helplessness. My family had told me to wash my hands of him and forget I ever had him, and that I had “ruined” him by “loving him too much”; which of course was impossible but i didn’t know how to help him. He would disappear for weeks at a time and I would be calling his friends trying to find him, but I couldn’t get through to him, I knew he was hurting deep inside from his dad not being in his life, being teased at school and I felt I had failed him also. I would go to work but wasn’t able to even think of anything but Kris, I was consumed with worry to the point of not being able to function.

ask believeThen a girl I worked with suggested I try praying. Now, I  had very little exposure to religion prior to meeting JC, aside from my paternal grandmother who tried to give me an introduction to God, no one in my family was a believer. When I met JC and found out he had been raised by very Christian parents I was reminded of my grandma and I soaked up any info I could off of him and his parents. I said I believed in God, and JC and I said Grace and discussed the Bible, but when the girl at work suggested I pray my immediate thought was, “You obviously don’t understand the severity of the situation, this is requires more than a prayer”. I finally was desperate enough to try anything, including prayer. The girl at work helped me come up with a prayer that went something like this.

Please God take care of Kris, let him feel my love in all certainty no matter where he is. Please help him see he is deserving of happiness and love. Please lead him down the right path to people who can help him and show him how special he is and please God keep him safe and healthy. one last thing, please God bring him back to me and let me have another chance at being his mother, if you do I will do better somehow. In your son’s name Amen.

I photocopied it and taped it every where I might have an anxiety attack, my computer at work, the bathroom mirror, the fridge; it became my mantra and eventually…….it helped.

Weeks went by and then Kris showed up at my door dirty, tired and hungry. I washed his clothes, he had a shower and I fed him then he told me how he had gone to Union Gospel Mission in Mission for dinner. At UGM if you want dinner you have to listen to a sermon first and a few nights prior he had heard a man speak and something he said stuck with Kris. He talked to the man and a few days later that he decided to go into rehab. The man was able to get him into rehab in two days, any time I had tried to get him into rehab it had been a 6 week waiting period and by the time the bed was available Kris was gone again. He stayed with me for two days and I drove him to UGM, the man was there to send him off. Kris did awesome, the people at UGM loved him and Coastal Church made him their “poster boy”, Coastal Church has a wealthy congregation and pride themselves on accepting any one into their church, prostitutes, drug addicts, criminals come as you are. Kris blossomed there with men to emulate, and the praise and encouragement he kept wanting to please,  they made him accountable, he took his GED, and was top in Canada, then he did a year of discipleship before he was accepted at Alberta Bible College and went to study Theology. Every time I attended church I was greeted by people telling me what a wonderful son I had. One of the members of the congregation gave him an apartment to live in for a small percentage of what he made in a month. Kris wanted black leather everything and I had thought he was being picky to not just take a used couch I offered him, but he told me that God wants us to ask for what we want and to be specific. He said that he had cut out pictures of the black leather couch he wanted and the tables etc. A woman member of the church, who set up apartments for out-of-town businessmen furnished the apartment with black leather everything out of an apartment she was hired to redecorate; she had no idea that Kris wanted leather. He had tattoos that another member of the church covered with professional tattoos and another member paid to have some others lazered off. A dentist that went to the church fixed his teeth, another paid for his education, he got a brand new top of the line bike from someone else, he traveled doing missionary work in Cambodia. He came into his own, his eyes have always been like a mood ring; grey if he was sad and the bluest blue when he was happy and his eyes were blue. My prayers had been answered. His church family was able to do more for him than I ever could have and they believed in him. He always knew i loved him and believed in him but I was his mother, he needed to hear it from people who didn’t have to love him.

The whole time JC and I were together we had miracles happen over and over, I have written about the house at Hatzic where we both felt the spirit of the daughter who had died, we had amazing people come into our life and it seemed there was always someone trying to save JC. It was a large part of why I stayed with him as long as I did.  I realize now that some of what happened was him manipulating the situation but there were genuine miracles that happened in our lives and times God stepped in that JC totally ignored. I had a very strong feeling God was trying to show him the way and he was fighting it tooth and nail.

My faith became stronger and stronger as time went on, mainly because I didn’t know what to do about JC and my relationship, I would pray for a sign that I should stay or leave; and as I am sure you know, a “sign” many times a sign can be interpreted the way you want to interpret it. One thing for sure, every time we split my prayers would be answered and I always did better when JC was not in my life, yet I would go back. My life would get better, I would get strong again and i would let him back into my life and within a few months my life would be falling apart again.

The first time JC strangled me, we were driving down the road on our way home from picking up a scrap car, he was driving and had badgered me for days about owing him $2000 for repairs on my Prelude, I had paid him back and he had agreed I had paid him even though I didn’t think I owed him and it wasn’t a week later and he was riding me again about owing him money. I was a nervous wreck and crying, he kept harping on me and I grabbed his leg and said I didn’t owe him, didn’t he remember I had paid? and without a word he slammed on the brakes and had his hands around my throat. Instinctively I grabbed his wrists and tried to pull his hands off my throat but he was far too strong. I stopped struggling, I remember thinking that he was going to feel so bad when he realized he had killed me, I wondered what he would tell my son Kris, then my body went limp and everything went black. I came too coughing and gasping for air and he continued the drive home. He went in and got on the computer right away and I tried to talk to him, he was just cold, his eyes icy blue and filled with loathing. I finally went to bed and cried.  I don’t know how much time had passed when I felt a pair of strong hands holding my head, one on each side of my head and I felt a calmness come over me and a feeling that everything was going to be ok. I opened my eyes expecting to see JC but there was no one there, I got up and went to him and asked if he had just been in the bedroom holding my head and he looked at me like I was crazy.

prayer answer noEvery time we split I left with nothing but my clothes. One time I went to live with my brother who had promised me work but then it didn’t pan out. I needed to make money and all I could think of was all the stuff I had painted over the previous couple of years. I had never tried to sell any of my art pieces and I was scared to death to approach shop owners about buying it but I was flat broke. I had enough money to get to Fort Langley, a tourist town that has antique and boutique shops lining the streets. When I got there I prayed that I would make $40, enough for gas to get home and some groceries.

I got there about 3 and went into almost every shop, losing my courage every time and walking out without approaching any one. I had given up and was heading out-of-town but I kept telling myself, “you won’t make it home without buying more gas.” I drove past the last antique shop on the edge of town and saw a woman hauling furniture back into her shop. It had been a sunny day and she must have had her wares on display outside and was now, at 4:50 packing it up for the day. I drove about a block and turned around. As I parked she looked up from what she was doing, she didn’t look happy to see a customer that late in the day and I thought to myself, “She’ll be even more unhappy when she finds out I want to sell her something.” I approached as I felt my cheeks getting hot. I told asked her if she would be willing to look at some of my art pieces and she said sure. Long story short she bought $40 worth and told me she was going on a month’s vacation but when she got back she wanted to see more of my stuff. I thanked her and went on my way.

I didn’t go back after a month, I was back with JC and didn’t have a car any more, besides I was too afraid to go back. It was almost a year later that JC and I were semi split again and I needed money desperately so I called the woman’s shop. She was off work that day but the woman who answered the phone told me to call Shirley’s cell phone. She didn’t sound happy to come to the shop on her day off but after a few minutes she told me to meet her there at 3 o’clock. All the way there I prayed to make $100, not $20, not $80, I had to have $100, I prayed non stop all the way there. Shirley liked my stuff and in the end bought $100 worth. She hesitated when she went to get the cash and then she looked at me with a strange look and said,” I would hesitate to say this to any one else but I have a feeling you will understand what I am about to tell you.”

She came and sat down on a bench in front of me and said, “You prayed on the way here didn’t you?” I nodded, she went on, “I didn’t really want to come down here today on my day off but God spoke to me and told me, “this woman really needs the money, go and spend $100.” I said yes that is what I prayed for and she smiled and nodded, “I knew it.” when she counted out the money she said, “$50 from me and $50 from God, we both think you have talent.”

Shirley became a good friend, every time I took product to her we would sit and discuss God and big and small miracles that had happened in her life and were starting to happen in mine.

I started listening for that tiny voice, and it seemed everywhere I went I met Christian people who shared with me, my faith grew daily because almost daily I experienced a miracle of some sort. I had left JC and didn’t have a job, nor furniture but I had income tax money to pay rent. The place I rented was owned by a man with a scrapyard and I was only there a couple of weeks when the owner offered me a job driving the delivery truck. After ten months of driving for him I was to be laid off and I decided I wanted my own truck to do landscaping, deliveries, anything but haul scrap metal. I had no money, a horrendous credit rating and soon no job. I looked everywhere for a truck, tried every way I could think of to get a truck but even those car lots that advertise, “Every one drives, we turn no one down” turned me down for a truck loan.

I was about to give up when I saw a cute GMC 1 ton with a flat deck on it parked on the side of the road with a for sale sign in the window. I stopped and immediately called the number. The man, Rene’ said he would be right there with the keys to let me have a look at it. He told me he had parked it there not even an hour earlier and I was the 4th call he’d had on it. I told him my situation, that I was losing my job and wanted my own truck. I offered him to trade my Eagle talon for the truck but he had enough vehicles so I thanked him anyway and headed home. I prayed for God to some how get me that truck and then I let it go. I must have told him where I worked because 1/2 way through the day he called me.

Rene – You really want that truck don’t you.

Me- Yes I do but like I said I don’t have any money.

Rene’ – I was talking to the wife about it last night, and well we don’t really need the money right now; maybe we can work something out.

Me – What did you have in mind?

Rene’- How much money do you have right now?

Me- Only about $100

Rene’ – Write up an IOU and come to my house tonight with your $100.

I went that night with $100 and a promise to pay the balance within a year and left with a signed transfer and tax form and the keys to the 1 ton.

A stranger, signed over his $4000 truck on a promise and a prayer.

And so began the Lady Witha Truck.

answered-prayers-islamic

Miracles DO happen, even when it doesn’t seem possible, that is why they are called miracles. Believe in the power of prayer, no matter how bleak your situation may seem; nothing lasts forever, not good nor bad.

I want to share more about the miracles that have happened in my life but now it is very late and I am going to bed.

wishing everyone happiness and everyday miracles