Tag Archives: Strong Narcissist Victims

Ladywithatruck Quotes To Get You Through

A few years ago I was very active posting every where, supporting victims of narcissistic abuse. It consumed my life, it was my life’s purpose.

But I found it really was consuming me and, although I had done alot of healing and could advise others on how to heal; in other ways it was holding me back, keeping me thinking about him, relating to other’s stories.

Plus, my dream job dropped in my lap, my health got worse, and I did what I never thought I could; I stepped back from this blog and concentrated on me and getting some normalcy back into my life.

I have lurked in the wings, commented on other sites and done the occasional post here, and often wonder how some of the member here are doing.

There are a handful of people that will always hold a special place in my heart. I pray they are well and have found contentment and serenity. I truly don’t know what I would have done without this community. The support I received, emotional, and financial, saw me through the absolute worst time of my life.

The Gabby Petito case reminded me of so many of the women who came to this site looking for answers. I remember being exactly where Gabby was, the fight in public, the police being called, my ex calm, laughing with tge cops, me an emotional basket case. The cops telling me not to start anything. My ex badgering about money until, in frustration I slapped his leg while we were driving. Him slamming on the brakes, me on the floor of the truck, his hands around my throat, everything going black, me knowing this was how I was going to die.

The difference between Gabby and me, is a few seconds, my ex stopped, Brian Laundry didn’t. Did Brian Laundry miscalculate and not let go soon enough? Or did he intend to kill her. We will never know and it doesn’t matter. Gabby is dead and I am not. I am able to speak.

Below are some quotes from the past that you might find helpful.

When The Victim Of A Narcissist Is Strong

Carrie Reimer
Carrie Reimer, 10 year common law relationship with a narc/psychopath

There is a common falacy that narcissists are attracted to “co-dependent” weak woman. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Narcissists are not attracted to any “type”. They assess everyone, male or female; for what they can offer the narcissist. It could be as simple as a quick hookup if the narcissist is bored or it could be a family if that is what he needs to get ahead in business.

But!, it is especially delicious narcissistic supply if the narc can hook an intelligent, self sufficient, independent woman. If she is also beautiful!? OMG! Do you have any idea how much of an ego boost it is for him to destroy a woman like that? ?

First of all, to hook her. Everyone will assume he must be a great guy, something really special to get a woman like her!! A woman who attracts the attention of men where ever she goes. A woman who chooses men carefully and doesnt need a man. At first he will be telling everyone how special she is and how lucky he is to have found her. In the beginning he is getting all the supply he needs just through his association with a high quality woman. He will exaggerate her talents and achievements and will tell her constantly how special she is. He has never met a woman as together as her. She might even feel a bit uneasy with his apparent idolization of her. Yeah, she’s good but come on, she’s only human.

But it feels good to be thought so highly of especially compared to every other woman he has ever met. And he treats her so well. She makes a conscious decision to let her guard down, let a man “do for her” for a change.

And he closes the web around her tighter and tighter and before she knows it she is in too deep to easily escape. And then the slow devaluation begins, the constant whittling away at her self confidence , the gas lighting, twisting facts, questioning her sanity, her capability to function when she has always been verociously independent.

I was in my early 40′s when I met the narcissist. I had always been a strong woman with strong opinions, high morals, firm boundaries. I had been told by men I was intimidating, too independent, that they felt I didn’t need them.

I didn’t need them. But it does get tiring always packing the load. And here I had this man who loved me exactly the way I was, who I had a connection like I had never had before, my soul mate. I wasn’t going to lose this man. I had earned this wonderful love. I trusted his love and him explicitly. I allowed myself to be “weak” handed over my power, little by little. He seemed to want to take care of me, I thought he would appreciate me trusting him but he was disgusted with it.

The more I forgave the more disgusted he got and the more he hurt me. Every time I forgave him and took him back he thought, “you stupid bitch. You deserve to be hurt for being so gullible and stupid.”

The only time he was loving was when I got strong and threatened to leave. He would beg me for another chance, admit to everything he had done wrong, promise the world. Once he had me again the abuse would be worse.

The thing with strong women is they tend to hang in longer. They have always been capable of recouping, making things happen, fixing things, they aren’t quiters. They will keep rising to the challenge and he will keep knocking her down.

By the time he dumps her she is a shell of the woman she was. No one recognizes her any more, she is ashamed and everyone she knows is ashamed of her and confused. How could she let a man do this to her?

She is acting co-dependent, needy, weak.

He walks away with a sneer and sick grin. “Look at you! What man would want a whiny, demanding, clingy, paranoid bitch like you??”