Tag Archives: Whining

I Feel Like Dog Doo

My good God I feel and look like crap.

Long gone are the days when I could go a night without sleep and look great in the morning. I was awake most of the night; wide awake and sitting at the kitchen table at 12:45am, 2:30am, 5:15am and then got up at 7. It is now 10:30 and I wish to God I had a shower and a strong cup of the coffee. Neither is possible due to lack of water.

Kato is only following his natural instincts but I am at my wits end with these two dogs. Kato will not leave Laila alone, if he can’t be with her he will lick the blankets where she was laying. Groooooss

Laila is hating him in a big way, in a really BIG way!! I leave him at home during the day because I can trust him to not escape or destroy the trailer but I feel terrible leaving him alone like that. I have been getting home late because , well the other night I had to grocery shop and last night I was out of town for work and then had some errands to run and of course my commute is so long because of where I live.

I had to leave Kato outside last night because Laila tried to rip his throat out and he wants to LOVE her and does not understand she is his daughter. Yuck

Anyway he was outside crying all night, whimpering at the door. At 2:30 I woke up with a killer tooth ache and got up. Laila was asleep so I closed the bedroom “door” which is a cloth bifold thingy that does nothing to keep a dog in the room.

I opened the door and Kato came in and Laila flew out under the door like the Tazmanian devil and attacked Kato. She was full on attacking and not backing down. Kato was trying to eat so the food and water dishes went flying, but he was still trying to eat the kibbles off the floor while she was trying to rip his throat out.

I grabbed her by her choker chain and she still would not let go so I smacked her across the snout. I kept her in a head lock until he finished eating and then I had to put him back outside. Laila was just vibrating and at one point I thought she might bite me but aside from growling at me she backed down. I gave her a few good smack across the snout though to show her who’s boss and I am not going to let her hurt Kato.

My poor buddy, he is so mild mannered he didn’t even try to defend himself. He doesn’t deserve that shit. If I had a place with real rooms and real doors at least I could keep them both in the house in different rooms.

Now it is 4 am the next day. I had another good day money wise so I knocked off early and spent some time with Kato. We went frog hunting and to the river for water.

Then I spent some time with Laila, all the while keeping the two if them apart. I went to my girlfriends to use the internet and left Laila in the trailer and took Kato. He was thrilled to be able to come along and was kissing me and rubbing his head on my leg. Poor little buddy.

We got home later than I had planned because I was almost home when I realized I forgot my purse at my friends and had to go back. When I opened the trailer door it took me a minute or 5 to  absorb the sight before me.

Laila had almost scratched and chewed right through the door. There was insulation and screen door every where in the trailer. She knocked my French Vanilla coffee out of my hand covering me, her and the floor with hot sticky coffee. The fruit flies should love that!!

Sigh!

She really missed me I guess. Piss. Tonight Kato is sleep in the truck.

I Don’t See a “Kick Me ” Sign On My Back

I don’t expect a free ride; I honestly don’t. Anyone who knows me will tell you I work hard for my money and I would never screw someone over on a deal; never! My conscience wouldn’t allow it. And I hate to be a whiner; live with or change it; but don’t whine about it.

I am so sick of people; (mostly)men screwing me over, pushing me around, and taking advantage of me and the fact that I am vulnerable and my family’s attitude that I deserve what I get because I went back to James.

I never felt I was an N magnet in my life, but I sure do now. It’s as if they hold meetings,
“Ok guys! guys settle down; this meeting has come to order. Men, we’ve got one bitch that just won’t lie down and give up; she’s a tough nut to crack. We’re got to ramp things up and get this done; we’ve spent too much time on her. Now who here has any ideas on what we can do to break this bitch once and for all? JC put your hand down; you had 10 years to get the job gone and you blew it! anyone else? ok You there at the back, state your name and your idea.”

Paranoid? not me!

As you all know life has been a real struggle for me lately but I’ve been dragging myself out there and doing my best to get my life back on track. Last week I was thinking finally things were falling into place.

One of the major stumbling blocks I face is; No internet or phone service  have been trying to sell my GMC because I just can’t afford to fix it; I put an ad placed on Craig’s list, I started at $1600 and then dropped the price to $1200; I started to get some calls at that price but then they wanted to see the truck and it is in Surrey, a good hour from where I living. I drove all the way out there two weeks ago because a guy said he had cash in hand and wanted it. He was a no show and I wasted $40 in fuel and my Sunday, not to mention I could have been at the flea market making money.

So, anyway, the truck I am driving needs brakes REALLY bad; they are squealing and I have a really bad vibration when I put on the brakes. It is also leaking oil and rad fluid. It’s an old truck; I expected gaskets and hoses would need to be replaced and planned to do all these minor repairs when I sold my GMC. Last Thursday I tried to put water in my rad and couldn’t get the cap off, I was going to get a man to try later and then forgot about it. I got a call on my GMC, the guy was only willing to pay $800 cash. I took it, cash is king. I owed my friend Jim $400 and he really needed his money because he is heading out hunting today. At $800 I could pay him and still get my brakes done and do a few other things.

I stopped at Tim Horton’s to use the washroom and get a bite to eat before I called the guy to say I was on my way. I forgot my phone was in my back pocket and when I pulled my jeans down in the bathroom my phone fell in the toilet. Yep folks, there it was submersed at the bottom of the toilet bowl; I was just thankful it fell in before I used the toilet. (notice the positive attitude?)

I tried to dry it best I could under the hand dryer. I can’t use my phone so I can’t call the guy to set up a time to meet and can’t get his number off my phone. I decide to take my phone back to Best Buy and see what they can do for me. On the way my truck starts to overheat so I park it at Lordco and take the dogs for a walk while it cools down. Then I bought some oil, antifreeze and a pair of work gloves at Lordco tried the rad cap and still couldn’t get it off. I try my phone and it worked (kinda) so I call the guy and say I will have to come tomorrow, he is fine with that. I call Jim and he comes and pries my rad cap off, I fill my rad, no visible leaks, must be a hose; he leaves, I go to get fuel and notice a HUGE puddle under my truck. Call Jim again and he says to limp it to his shop. He figures its just a gasket. We take water pump off and replace gasket, put water in, it pours out. I need a new water pump!; piss. It is 1am so Jim lends me his truck to go home and I return in the morning.
No one in Abbotsford has a water pump for a 1974 chev so we order one in. I miss a days work but I am rolling with the punches. I put my phone in a bag of rice over night and its working; only had to buy a $10 sim card. I called the guy and say I am going to be late.
I borrow $100 from Jim for the water pump and even installed it myself and I’m feeling pretty proud of myself. Still rolling with the punches. I head out to do the truck deal, call the guy and he says getting too late lets do it tomorrow. Fine with me.
Saturday first thing I get a call from a customer wanting a pick up in Port Moody, perfect! I can do the truck deal, take the bridge to Pt Moody and go home. I stop at a few customers and get a little load on and made $70; perfect! just enough to buy a permit $30 to drive it over to the guy and I couldn’t find my registration so paid $18 for a replacement, no biggie. Bought myself lunch $6 and a pack of smokes $9 and had just enough fuel to get to Surrey where $800 is waiting for me.
I got to my truck and the cab is full of Hal’s crap (Hal is the guy who “fixed” my driveshaft) and the battery is missing.

I call Hal and tell him I am there to get my truck and what does he figure I owe him. He never did give me an answer. We agreed that I had paid him $350 already so I said I could pay him another $100. He said when do I get the rest? I told him I didn’t feel I owed him more. Of course he feels I owe him for the trany in his van and for all the hours he spent fabricating a driveshaft unnecessarily. He tells me he’s also taken my brake switch off and put it on his truck. He said he’d be there in 1/2 an hour, I tell him I have a job waiting, he says 1/2 hr.

Four hours later I am still waiting; take the dogs for a walk and when I get back he is sitting there eating take out. I walk up and ask if my truck is ready to go, I can see the battery on the ground. He says he’s not doing anything until he’s eaten. I say I’ve been waiting 4 hours and I have a job to get to. He says he’s been waiting 3 months and starts accusing me of not going into Amix to avoid paying him. Why would I have paid him $350 if I wasn’t planning on paying him? Besides that; what is he doing going to Amix and asking if I’ve been in; that’s bullshit! He hauls scrap; he knows prices have been down. He called me a liar when I told him I got more in Abbotsford than at Amix. He’s harping on about my wrecking his trany and owing for that but he still won’t name a price.
I said, “You knew money was tight, how did you expect me to put fluid in the van? it had NO fluids whatsoever, that is your responsibility not mine.”
He says he wants more money than the $100 but still doesn’t name a figure. I keep saying I can only pay $100 and he says,”How much are you getting for the truck?” He wants at least half. I told him no way. He crawls under my truck and takes the driveshaft off. I say give me my $350 back. He says that is for the trany. I am furious (plug your ears because this is where I start swearing) I call him an asshole and he says he can see why I can’t keep a man. I spun around and said,”You can keep your fucking mouth shut, my personal life has nothing to do with you. If I wanted abuse and to get screwed over I would have called James. You have nothing to say that I want to hear; I am done talking to you”. He said something about me being a selfish bitch and I felt like punching him but instead told him, “I told you, keep your fucking opinions to yourself, I don’t give a shit what you think.” and refused to respond to his yabbering.

There are dogs across the street and Mary had let her dogs out so my dogs were going nuts, Hal left with his driveshaft and I gave Mary a hug and left.

I called the guy who was buying it and now he’ll give me $400 for it. I put the $7 I have into fuel but still only got 1/2 way home. I parked the truck and called a few friends, either they didn’t answer or couldn’t help. It is 9 pm, the dogs and I are hungry and I am broke. I start to cry. Enough is enough!

I call Jim to say I don’t have his money, he asks where I am and what I am going to do. I tell him I am going to sleep in my truck and call the guy in the morning and take the $400 I guess. I said I didn’t know what to do. everyone says phone the police but I was so upset I couldn’t think or talk straight.

I fell asleep with my head on Laila and woke up at midnight when Jim called to say he was in Langley and where was I. He bought me dinner and gave me $50 for fuel. I said I hate to borrow more money and he said,” I have to keep you alive because I want you”. Geeezzzzz

I got home at 4 am, no water at home; none. I went to girlfriends for shower yesterday. I have just enough fuel to get down the hill today.

No idea what I am going to do about either truck.

And to top it all off Laila is in heat and Kato is driving us both nuts!!!!

Welcome to my life!

This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

George Bernard Shaw